work from home is messing up my marriage
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Anonymous
| DH works from home for three days, but keep in mind that this has only been going on for eight months. He goes into the office for two days. He expects me not to talk to him or walk into the office ALL DAY from 8 am- after 6 pm. He also has been doing a lot of work after the kids go to bed at 8 pm. Before the 3-day schedule, he worked from every day starting when COVID-19 happened. I feel it's unreasonable to expect no interaction for so many hours when he works from home. We also have a toddler. I tried to get him to have lunch with us but gave up after a while because I would have to set a timer; otherwise, he would return to work after 15 minutes. Lately, I feel ignored, and what's the point of being married if you aren't spending time together? We never watch TV together. As I sit here, I am crying. When something big happens, I am hesitate to talk to him anymore, but I feel he cares about his computer or phone more than engaging with me. |
Anonymous
| This isn’t a work from home problem. |
Anonymous
Op here. It's related. if he wasn't home so much, I wouldn't feel the need to engage with him |
Anonymous
| What's your interaction with him when he's at the official? Text? FaceTime? Nothing? |
Anonymous
| Office * |
Anonymous
|
This is a you issue.
Leaving him alone while he's working isnt that big of an ask. Would you rather he lose his job and you can both be freeloaders at home? Seriously, why cant you just "pretend" that hes working in the office? Why cant you stay out of his office? |
Anonymous
| This isn't a work issue. The issue is outside of work he doesn't want to spend time with you. You need to come at it from that angle because crying over the fact that he doesn't interact with you while he's working is ridiculous. |
Anonymous
When he's working, you need to just pretend he's at the office. But the fact that he wants to spend zero time with you after work is the issue. Deal with that. |
Anonymous
| He’s working. Pretend he’s at the office. |
Anonymous
| How old are you? You sound very immature. |
Anonymous
| God you sound annoying. Don't you have anything to do during the day rather than annoying the person keeping a roof over your head? |
Anonymous
| Dh works from home and I pretty much don't interact with him other than a quick chat when he comes downstairs for lunch or asking him to take the dog if I'm sleeping (I work nights 3 days a week). He has always worked from home and very much treats it like hes in the office otherwise he'd get distracted. It doesn't bother me at all. But we spend plenty of time together when he's not working. I'm not sure why you've decided the work set up is the issue and not what happens outside of work. |
Anonymous
| You sound lonely. Do you have other SAHM friends? Do you interact with anyone outside your toddler during the day? |
Anonymous
|
To look at this from another perspective, Im a DW with a DH who wfh every day. I can wfh whenever I want, only need to go in really once/wk. BUT I go in almost every day bc my DH ALWAYS wants to come into my home office and chat and it interrupts my work. Its like he listens outside of my office for me to finish w a call and then comes in, while Im trying to take notes from the call, review emails I missed during call, etc.
So Im spending more $ on gas, more of my time in the car and more effort getting office-ready bc my DH doesnt understand that I work during work hours. |
Anonymous
not much. he will text and ask if we are okay. the lunch thing bugs me. he should be taking a break for lunch. he would do that at the office. he's not taking lunch and he's working more than he would be if he goes to the office. 10+ hours a day isn't normal. |