You are always invisible as a minority woman

[Anonymous]

I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

You’re not wrong…except when someone thinks you work at the store. I’m a white woman married to an African-Am woman. It’s not unusual for people to come up to her and asked “Do you have this in a size 20?” 😒

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

eh, thats not true. I'm a minority (brown skinned) and I definitely did not feel invisible in my twenties and thirties. Maybe because I'm also tall-ish? and was open to dating men of different races? who knows. But I don't think that's related. But now that I'm middle aged the attention has tapered off and is more occasional.

[Anonymous]

*except when:

you're on speakerphone at the grocery store

you're beating your kid at the playground

youre cutting in line at every single vehicle merge

you're sending back food at a restaurant after you've eaten 85% of it

....

[Anonymous]

I’m confused. I thought brown skinned minority women were routinely trailed around retail stores by clerks and security watching to catch them shoplifting?

Invisible? Or profiled?

[Anonymous]

In this day and age of online shopping and clueless associates why would anyone want to be visible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

I’m a Black woman. I’ve never been invisible — except occasionally to white women who push in front of me because they don’t “see” me. Then, there are the times I might WISH to be invisible— when the catcalling gets ugly, or a random white woman (yes, it’s always a white woman) demands that I assist her in a store, even though I’m wearing a coat, carrying a bag, and the sales associates have uniforms.

Lol — and weary eye roll: Once I was walking home with both a full bag of groceries from Whole Foods AND pulling a suitcase with wheels when a white woman accosted me on the street, tried to hand me a set of keys, and demanded to know why I was late — because she had been impatiently waiting for someone to come to her home to do some sort of work for her. No, white lady, I do not work for you. In contrast, it’s usually a treat when people say nice things and acknowledge my existence in public on positive ways.

Oh, and OP, is your point about being “thin” perplexity that even in your “thinness” you’re still “invisible “? Maybe check your assumptions. And your own prejudices. I’m a Black women, neither young nor thin, and I’m quite visible in most settings.

[Anonymous]

I’m a white woman who has been invisible since I became a minivan driving mom.

I am fairly confident I could knock over a liquor store and get away with it since nobody would notice me.

“What did the robber look like?”

“Um…not sure…sorta like a mom I guess? You know, like the mom who brings orange slices for after the soccer game?”

[Anonymous]

Not true, but if you need to believe that go for it.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, the most "visible" person I know is a short minority woman. She looks kind of like Kim Kardashian though.

[Anonymous]

First world problem

[Anonymous]

Maybe the question is to whom she is invisible. I'm betting that's her pang.

[Anonymous]

It entirely depends whether they are attractive or not.

And that's true for any gender, any age and any skin color.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It entirely depends whether they are attractive or not.

And that's true for any gender, any age and any skin color.

Adding, whether they present well or not. My Asian father always dresses well, drives a nice car, etc. He knows the value of first impressions, and as the upper management of his company, has had much practice at it.

[Anonymous]

What's so great about being visible? I've loved finally disappearing into the crowd as I age.