You are always invisible as a minority woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

Young minority women can be both attractive and unattractive. in order to benefit from pretty privilege, you have to pretty, whether white or a POC.

Yes but the threshold for pretty privilege is higher for POC. A young white woman who is slim and well-groomed will get treated well by everyone. A WOC has to be attractive in a head-turning way to be treated the same way.

A WOC can be attractive well into her 50's. A young white women's prime is her 20's. That is all.

So true, and I’m white. Melanin prevents all that sun-induced skin aging we pasty white women have. I know so many young looking POC in their 50s and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

I’m a Black woman. I’ve never been invisible — except occasionally to white women who push in front of me because they don’t “see” me. Then, there are the times I might WISH to be invisible— when the catcalling gets ugly, or a random white woman (yes, it’s always a white woman) demands that I assist her in a store, even though I’m wearing a coat, carrying a bag, and the sales associates have uniforms.

Lol — and weary eye roll: Once I was walking home with both a full bag of groceries from Whole Foods AND pulling a suitcase with wheels when a white woman accosted me on the street, tried to hand me a set of keys, and demanded to know why I was late — because she had been impatiently waiting for someone to come to her home to do some sort of work for her. No, white lady, I do not work for you. In contrast, it’s usually a treat when people say nice things and acknowledge my existence in public on positive ways.

Oh, and OP, is your point about being “thin” perplexity that even in your “thinness” you’re still “invisible “? Maybe check your assumptions. And your own prejudices. I’m a Black women, neither young nor thin, and I’m quite visible in most settings.

Quit whining and blaming everything on your skin color. I am a white woman who has been asked many times for help in stores, and had people pop into my car, thinking I was their uber driver. This is part of life. People make mistakes.

[Anonymous]

I'm a short petite minority woman and I've never felt particularly invisible.

On rare occasions, I have been mistaken for employees of Target but no one should wear a red shirt to Target. That's kinda on me. And, I've been mistaken for wait staff on rare occasions when I was younger. You gotta laugh it off. Doing anything else is craziness.

[Anonymous]

Most people are invisible, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people are invisible, honestly.

This^^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

I’m a Black woman. I’ve never been invisible — except occasionally to white women who push in front of me because they don’t “see” me. Then, there are the times I might WISH to be invisible— when the catcalling gets ugly, or a random white woman (yes, it’s always a white woman) demands that I assist her in a store, even though I’m wearing a coat, carrying a bag, and the sales associates have uniforms.

Lol — and weary eye roll: Once I was walking home with both a full bag of groceries from Whole Foods AND pulling a suitcase with wheels when a white woman accosted me on the street, tried to hand me a set of keys, and demanded to know why I was late — because she had been impatiently waiting for someone to come to her home to do some sort of work for her. No, white lady, I do not work for you. In contrast, it’s usually a treat when people say nice things and acknowledge my existence in public on positive ways.

Oh, and OP, is your point about being “thin” perplexity that even in your “thinness” you’re still “invisible “? Maybe check your assumptions. And your own prejudices. I’m a Black women, neither young nor thin, and I’m quite visible in most settings.

Quit whining and blaming everything on your skin color. I am a white woman who has been asked many times for help in stores, and had people pop into my car, thinking I was their uber driver. This is part of life. People make mistakes.

Really?? I’m a white woman and have never had these things happen to me. People always try to wait on me in stores. Gets annoying after awhile. Wish I was invisible!

[Anonymous]

Minority brown skin woman here. Never felt invisible. Was I treated on par with white women? Nope. But then, I’ve learned not to give a F&$k. I get respect and am valued by people who I love and that’s enough for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

I’m a Black woman. I’ve never been invisible — except occasionally to white women who push in front of me because they don’t “see” me. Then, there are the times I might WISH to be invisible— when the catcalling gets ugly, or a random white woman (yes, it’s always a white woman) demands that I assist her in a store, even though I’m wearing a coat, carrying a bag, and the sales associates have uniforms.

Lol — and weary eye roll: Once I was walking home with both a full bag of groceries from Whole Foods AND pulling a suitcase with wheels when a white woman accosted me on the street, tried to hand me a set of keys, and demanded to know why I was late — because she had been impatiently waiting for someone to come to her home to do some sort of work for her. No, white lady, I do not work for you. In contrast, it’s usually a treat when people say nice things and acknowledge my existence in public on positive ways.

Oh, and OP, is your point about being “thin” perplexity that even in your “thinness” you’re still “invisible “? Maybe check your assumptions. And your own prejudices. I’m a Black women, neither young nor thin, and I’m quite visible in most settings.

Quit whining and blaming everything on your skin color. I am a white woman who has been asked many times for help in stores, and had people pop into my car, thinking I was their uber driver. This is part of life. People make mistakes.

Really?? I’m a white woman and have never had these things happen to me. People always try to wait on me in stores. Gets annoying after awhile. Wish I was invisible!

I'm a white woman and I've definitely been asked for help in a store. Usually it's been when I haven't had my purse with me and I tend to walk purposefully.

And I've always been happy to help.

[Anonymous]

I'm a minority and wish I was invisible! People definitely notice me, maybe it's the way I carry myself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

Young minority women can be both attractive and unattractive. in order to benefit from pretty privilege, you have to pretty, whether white or a POC.

Yes but the threshold for pretty privilege is higher for POC. A young white woman who is slim and well-groomed will get treated well by everyone. A WOC has to be attractive in a head-turning way to be treated the same way.

A WOC can be attractive well into her 50's. A young white women's prime is her 20's. That is all.

So true, and I’m white. Melanin prevents all that sun-induced skin aging we pasty white women have. I know so many young looking POC in their 50s and beyond.

Or you can apply sunscreen, wear hats, spf clothing and avoid aging your skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

I’m a Black woman. I’ve never been invisible — except occasionally to white women who push in front of me because they don’t “see” me. Then, there are the times I might WISH to be invisible— when the catcalling gets ugly, or a random white woman (yes, it’s always a white woman) demands that I assist her in a store, even though I’m wearing a coat, carrying a bag, and the sales associates have uniforms.

Lol — and weary eye roll: Once I was walking home with both a full bag of groceries from Whole Foods AND pulling a suitcase with wheels when a white woman accosted me on the street, tried to hand me a set of keys, and demanded to know why I was late — because she had been impatiently waiting for someone to come to her home to do some sort of work for her. No, white lady, I do not work for you. In contrast, it’s usually a treat when people say nice things and acknowledge my existence in public on positive ways.

Oh, and OP, is your point about being “thin” perplexity that even in your “thinness” you’re still “invisible “? Maybe check your assumptions. And your own prejudices. I’m a Black women, neither young nor thin, and I’m quite visible in most settings.

Quit whining and blaming everything on your skin color. I am a white woman who has been asked many times for help in stores, and had people pop into my car, thinking I was their uber driver. This is part of life. People make mistakes.

Really?? I’m a white woman and have never had these things happen to me. People always try to wait on me in stores. Gets annoying after awhile. Wish I was invisible!

I'm a white woman and I've definitely been asked for help in a store. Usually it's been when I haven't had my purse with me and I tend to walk purposefully.

And I've always been happy to help.

You look approachable. I also have this happen to me and am happy to help.

[Anonymous]

Try wearing louder colors, rolling your shoulders back, smiling and making eye contact. I'm a brown woman and definitely don't feel invisible. Forgettable and noticeable comes in every color.

[Anonymous]

Lol, as a short white man who isn't handsome I've mostly felt invisible in life too.

Turns out that being conventionally attractive is what gets you attention, and yes I'm aware that certain race/gender combos have it easier/harder in this regard.

[Anonymous]

I am a tall thin Asian with an equally tall thin twin sister. We have never once been invisible. And I am not being smug. We are both attractive but when you put the two of us together we always get stared at.

We are hitting 40 now and nothing has changed. Probably get stared at more because now we drag our equally attractive kids (girls and boys) with us and someone is always commenting on our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a tall thin Asian with an equally tall thin twin sister. We have never once been invisible. And I am not being smug. We are both attractive but when you put the two of us together we always get stared at.

We are hitting 40 now and nothing has changed. Probably get stared at more because now we drag our equally attractive kids (girls and boys) with us and someone is always commenting on our kids.

There must be something strange looking about you that you are unaware of that some people notice.