You are always invisible as a minority woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its funny, I’m a white guy and have felt invisible for most of my life. And some of the rude things even store workers would say to me. Being a tall, scrawny, poor and unattractive white dude with some amount of social anxiety.

What’s funny, is I’m probably the most visible I’ve been in my late 40’s-early 50’s. Really’ the only thing I can think of that changed is me having spent lots of time in the gym and Pedro Pascal becoming a popular actor. I look loke him and all of a sudden its in style for dudes to look okder with busted faces. Go figure. All of a sudden even my jokes are funny.

Scrawny white men fill out a bit and actually look better as they age. I'm married to one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I'm the victim, no I'M THE VICTIM, no I'm the victim...."

Seriously, is service at blue mercury your end goal here? Aim higher.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a minority woman ( Latina), I am pretty and dress up well, I also treat people very well. Everywhere I go, I am catered to and people are nice to me, no complaints.

Sometimes, it comes down to how WE treat people and what sort of vibes they get from us.

And what’s your age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its funny, I’m a white guy and have felt invisible for most of my life. And some of the rude things even store workers would say to me. Being a tall, scrawny, poor and unattractive white dude with some amount of social anxiety.

What’s funny, is I’m probably the most visible I’ve been in my late 40’s-early 50’s. Really’ the only thing I can think of that changed is me having spent lots of time in the gym and Pedro Pascal becoming a popular actor. I look loke him and all of a sudden its in style for dudes to look okder with busted faces. Go figure. All of a sudden even my jokes are funny.

Scrawny white men fill out a bit and actually look better as they age. I'm married to one.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

Young minority women can be both attractive and unattractive. in order to benefit from pretty privilege, you have to pretty, whether white or a POC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

Young minority women can be both attractive and unattractive. in order to benefit from pretty privilege, you have to pretty, whether white or a POC.

Yes but the threshold for pretty privilege is higher for POC. A young white woman who is slim and well-groomed will get treated well by everyone. A WOC has to be attractive in a head-turning way to be treated the same way.

[Anonymous]

Keep telling yourself that

[Anonymous]

You're invisible in lots of forms. I found I went from being totally visible to totally invisible in my mid 40s. As a very attractive female.

[Anonymous]

I’m white and wealthy and run around in yoga pants and a pony tail. Nothing amuses me more than store staff with an attitude. Dude, you’re the one working retail!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m white and wealthy and run around in yoga pants and a pony tail. Nothing amuses me more than store staff with an attitude. Dude, you’re the one working retail!

+1. I've had Julia Roberts moments too. Oh wait, you in the jeans, you're spending what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m white and wealthy and run around in yoga pants and a pony tail. Nothing amuses me more than store staff with an attitude. Dude, you’re the one working retail!

+1. I've had Julia Roberts moments too. Oh wait, you in the jeans, you're spending what?

I grew up middle class and am now very comfortable. There is definitely a vibe that one puts off when they know that they belong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m white and wealthy and run around in yoga pants and a pony tail. Nothing amuses me more than store staff with an attitude. Dude, you’re the one working retail!

+1. I've had Julia Roberts moments too. Oh wait, you in the jeans, you're spending what?

I grew up middle class and am now very comfortable. There is definitely a vibe that one puts off when they know that they belong.

Idk about that. I think it's just security that surrounds your material possessions and the enhancements you had since you could afford them now. The wealthiest people I know have been very cheap and dressed in discounted clothing. Definitely not the louis vuitton or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

Young minority women can be both attractive and unattractive. in order to benefit from pretty privilege, you have to pretty, whether white or a POC.

Yes but the threshold for pretty privilege is higher for POC. A young white woman who is slim and well-groomed will get treated well by everyone. A WOC has to be attractive in a head-turning way to be treated the same way.

A WOC can be attractive well into her 50's. A young white women's prime is her 20's. That is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

Young minority women can be both attractive and unattractive. in order to benefit from pretty privilege, you have to pretty, whether white or a POC.

Asian here. I thought pretty much the same thing when I read the post.

[Anonymous]

It’s not because you’re Black, it’s because you’re unattractive. My best friend from HS/college is half black, half white, gorgeous, and used to turn heads everywhere we went. I always felt invisible next to her, even though I’m white, because she got all of the attention.