How to not feel bad about putting an infant in daycare?

[Anonymous]

I never thought I would have to leave my baby in a daycare center. But I want to and need to work so I am researching daycare options. How would a 3 month old survive at Daycare? Isn't it detrimental to their mental and emotiona l health?

[Anonymous]

Pull yourself together! This is daycare, not the gulag.

We researched in-home daycares and visited several until we found the perfect fit for us. The women who work there have been so warm and kind, and they genuinely love babies. We're still in touch with them long after our kids have aged out.

You just have to go see it in person and get a feel for the people working there.

[Anonymous]

I mean, I don't judge, but it certainly isn't the best option for a baby but most people don't have a choice. There's a reason you feel this way. Any chance you can hire a nanny instead?

[Anonymous]

I agree on the in-home. OP I felt similarly, couldn’t really wrap my head around dropping a baby at a big center. We absolutely love our in-home, all of the kids seem to be thriving and we love how they get exposure to different ages. And the owner could not be sweeter. She truly loves what she does and it shows.

[Anonymous]

It's not ideal. You gut is spot on. I agree that if you can find in home daycare or a nanny, that's much better than a typical daycare center. But lot of people have no choice and it generally works out.

[Anonymous]

What you are feeling is normal. It will also pass. People have to work and have always had to work. What is important is that your baby will be well cared for and attended to and you will be there at the end of every work day. Which is what you will do.

[Anonymous]

Could you delay a few more months or find a nanny share for a few months until baby is a bit older and you feel better about it?

[Anonymous]

Mental and emotional health? Come on now. Have you ever met a baby or a child who was in daycare? Just use your common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, I don't judge, but it certainly isn't the best option for a baby but most people don't have a choice. There's a reason you feel this way. Any chance you can hire a nanny instead?

+1 to the nanny because you will miss a lot of work due to the illnesses your baby will get that first year in daycare.

[Anonymous]

Look for an an in home daycare they can make nervous moms feel more comfortable. They are very well regulated in this area. Also Remember this is a marathon not a sprint race, you will be there for this kid for twenty years do what you have to do to stay healthy for the long haul and realize very few single decisions will make a big difference in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you are feeling is normal. It will also pass. People have to work and have always had to work. What is important is that your baby will be well cared for and attended to and you will be there at the end of every work day. Which is what you will do.

+1. I spent a lot of time worrying, stressing, crying, feeling guilty, etc. about putting my kids in any kind of childcare, and I have tried pretty much every option as a result. It is very hard when they are little, less than 6 months, for a reason -- American parental leave is nowhere near enough. If it is feasible financially, a nanny share was a good compromise for me and helped me feel better about working when my kids were tiny. Was it objectively better than daycare? I can't really say, but if finding a situation like this makes you feel better, go for it! I also think in-homes are great for more personalized care if you can find a good one.

Once my kids were 2 and 4pm, there was no question that daycare/preschool was a better fit. In fact, a big reason we went to daycare was because DS had language delays and the speech therapist recommended getting him in a program with typically-developing peers.

Big hug OP!!!!! Being a working mom is REALLY hard when your babies are little. You are doing your best to take care of your family and that makes you a great mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look for an an in home daycare they can make nervous moms feel more comfortable. They are very well regulated in this area. Also Remember this is a marathon not a sprint race, you will be there for this kid for twenty years do what you have to do to stay healthy for the long haul and realize very few single decisions will make a big difference in the long run.

this is sooooo true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you are feeling is normal. It will also pass. People have to work and have always had to work. What is important is that your baby will be well cared for and attended to and you will be there at the end of every work day. Which is what you will do.

+1. I spent a lot of time worrying, stressing, crying, feeling guilty, etc. about putting my kids in any kind of childcare, and I have tried pretty much every option as a result. It is very hard when they are little, less than 6 months, for a reason -- American parental leave is nowhere near enough. If it is feasible financially, a nanny share was a good compromise for me and helped me feel better about working when my kids were tiny. Was it objectively better than daycare? I can't really say, but if finding a situation like this makes you feel better, go for it! I also think in-homes are great for more personalized care if you can find a good one.

Once my kids were 2 and 4pm, there was no question that daycare/preschool was a better fit. In fact, a big reason we went to daycare was because DS had language delays and the speech therapist recommended getting him in a program with typically-developing peers.

Big hug OP!!!!! Being a working mom is REALLY hard when your babies are little. You are doing your best to take care of your family and that makes you a great mom.

Thank you! How do you find a nanny share?

[Anonymous]

my kids ended up at an in home but I was not against a center. My kids, even the baby, love daycare. It’s interesting and stimulating and they have a whole new group of people that love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you are feeling is normal. It will also pass. People have to work and have always had to work. What is important is that your baby will be well cared for and attended to and you will be there at the end of every work day. Which is what you will do.

+1. I spent a lot of time worrying, stressing, crying, feeling guilty, etc. about putting my kids in any kind of childcare, and I have tried pretty much every option as a result. It is very hard when they are little, less than 6 months, for a reason -- American parental leave is nowhere near enough. If it is feasible financially, a nanny share was a good compromise for me and helped me feel better about working when my kids were tiny. Was it objectively better than daycare? I can't really say, but if finding a situation like this makes you feel better, go for it! I also think in-homes are great for more personalized care if you can find a good one.

Once my kids were 2 and 4pm, there was no question that daycare/preschool was a better fit. In fact, a big reason we went to daycare was because DS had language delays and the speech therapist recommended getting him in a program with typically-developing peers.

Big hug OP!!!!! Being a working mom is REALLY hard when your babies are little. You are doing your best to take care of your family and that makes you a great mom.

Thank you! How do you find a nanny share?

I actually found our amazing nanny here, on the nanny forum. This was in 2017 so I am not sure if it is robust, but it was a mom who was moving her 15-month-old kid (to daycare! where he thrived by the way) posting to help her nanny find a new position. I found the other family in a local mom group on Facebook. If you go on Facebook and search "Neighborhood Name Moms" you will probably find some options. If you are from the DC area, post where and I am sure folks can recommend some.