Beach house extended family vacation- why do women spend 80% of their time in the kitchen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^DP. To above pp who likes to cook. You are not ok, go for a walk.

DP you are coming across as unhinged. It’s you off her rocker. Cooking is enjoyable for some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I guess I'm asking, what makes my SILs want to prepare every single meal from scratch- like homemade pancakes (flour, egg, etc), homemade pizzas, homemade salad dressings, homemade noodles. Dozens of pots/pans/ cooking utensils for every meal...

Why not just go the simple route? the kids and dads don't care if they eat cereal or carryout or PB&J sandwiches, so why do they overengineer every meal?

I work full-time in an office, so I WANT to be OUTSIDE with the kids as much as possible.
Basically, I want a real vacation. Not a new full-time kitchen job for a week.

I do this but I do it all the time so I’m fast. We eat that way, and I’d way rather that than eat crap. Sorry. But if people that don’t cook regularly like you - and I work in an office too, I just care about this - try to “help”, yes, it’s slower. Much slower. And messier. So, don’t help. Chances are you aren’t helping. Offer to pay for some dinners out.

[Anonymous]

OP I am with you. I love to cook- but not on vacation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do a mix. Eating out, quick meals, bbq by the guys, longer prep meals. Or hire a chef and pay him fir the time and food.

Are the men and kids saying Thank You? Do they get some sun and swim time?

Posts like this are suggesting solutions to a problem that doesn't actually exist. OP's in-laws like to spend all day in the kitchen cooking together. This is their idea of a great vacation and it is how they want to spend their time.

[Anonymous]

Just don't engage in the kitchen. Feed your kids and get out. Do your own dishes and don't leave a mess. Send your DH in from the pool to offer to help. Make him engage in the dinner dishes while you "put the kids to bed".

Take many steps back. My brother's wife sometimes drives me nuts on vacation because she doesn't pitch in with the dishes much. But it's also really how she operates. She would prefer to eat out much more than we do, or at least much less formally. So I try to remember she's already putting in a lot of effort just BEING there and not sweat the details so much.

[Anonymous]

When we do multi-family the only real prepared meal is dinner and we rotate who handles it. So one out of every three nights we buy, prepare and clean up.

[Anonymous]

I don't get how anyone can spend hours sitting on the beach staring at the ocean. Every year, I try -- I get my chair and my book and head down there with the rest of them. And within 10 minutes I'm itching to go for a walk or do ANYTHING except grow roots in the sand.

One thing I do love to do at the beach? Cook. It's a blast planning, prepping and preparing a really good meal for my entire extended family. I'm already thinking about this year's menus....

[Anonymous]

Honestly it's just who you went on vacation with. I'd stay in a hotel near their beach house next time. I refuse to get roped into cooking and cleaning nonstop.

[Anonymous]

My FIL does all the cooking and cleaning. He just likes it and the food is great.
by the way, it's easier to be in the kitchen than to entertain the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^DP. To above pp who likes to cook. You are not ok, go for a walk.

NP. Nope, you need a break, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it's just who you went on vacation with. I'd stay in a hotel near their beach house next time. I refuse to get roped into cooking and cleaning nonstop.

Show me the part where OP is even being so much as *asked* to cook.

[Anonymous]

I mean, you're just an idiot OP. NO ONE is asking you to cook or clean. Your husband is TELLING you to leave it.

If you feel like you need to make a contribution, you watch the kids while *DH* makes a meal or helps them in the kitchen. Or you put out some take-out menus and say, "We're going to order dinner for everyone tomorrow night--please let us know where you prefer and what you want by tomorrow at X p.m." Then pay for that and be done with it.

No one is asking or pressuring you. Live and let live.

"Seriously ladies" is so snarky. Get over yourself. Here's why I like making a big breakfast: we slept in, we have no where to go, and we have the time. Bowls of cereal, "done" are for hurried Tuesday mornings. The beach is the perfect time for pancakes, eggs and bacon. If you don't want to participate, don't. Take your lemon-face elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just don't engage in the kitchen. Feed your kids and get out. Do your own dishes and don't leave a mess. Send your DH in from the pool to offer to help. Make him engage in the dinner dishes while you "put the kids to bed".

Take many steps back. My brother's wife sometimes drives me nuts on vacation because she doesn't pitch in with the dishes much. But it's also really how she operates. She would prefer to eat out much more than we do, or at least much less formally. So I try to remember she's already putting in a lot of effort just BEING there and not sweat the details so much.

Why does it matter what SIL is doing if your brother is doing the family’s share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I guess I'm asking, what makes my SILs want to prepare every single meal from scratch- like homemade pancakes (flour, egg, etc), homemade pizzas, homemade salad dressings, homemade noodles. Dozens of pots/pans/ cooking utensils for every meal...

Why not just go the simple route? the kids and dads don't care if they eat cereal or carryout or PB&J sandwiches, so why do they overengineer every meal?

I work full-time in an office, so I WANT to be OUTSIDE with the kids as much as possible.
Basically, I want a real vacation. Not a new full-time kitchen job for a week.

I'm with you, OP! I love to cook, but not on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I guess I'm asking, what makes my SILs want to prepare every single meal from scratch- like homemade pancakes (flour, egg, etc), homemade pizzas, homemade salad dressings, homemade noodles. Dozens of pots/pans/ cooking utensils for every meal...

Why not just go the simple route? the kids and dads don't care if they eat cereal or carryout or PB&J sandwiches, so why do they overengineer every meal?

I work full-time in an office, so I WANT to be OUTSIDE with the kids as much as possible.
Basically, I want a real vacation. Not a new full-time kitchen job for a week.

I'm with you, OP! I love to cook, but not on vacation.

OK? No one is stopping either you or OP. No one has so much has asked OP to cook or anything. Like, why does it matter to you how other people like to spend their vacation time?