Noncustodial Parent Relocation - Who Handles Transport?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awful as it is, it’s probably good that you’re heading to mediation. This new arrangement is going to create more issues than just driving. Hopefully a mediator will be helpful in reaching an arrangement that is more palatable to your kids, especially the oldest. This really sucks for them.

Totally agree this move sucks for the kids. Especially these ages when they have social lives, extracurriculars, and maybe even jobs to handle on the weekends

Its two weekends a month/4 days. Stop being so dramatic. Kids see their Dad twice a month for 4 days total. They have plenty of other days to do that stuff.

You’re dense or don’t have teenagers. The kids are in school and activities during the week. Their dad is trying to monopolize 50% of their free time a month. That sucks. This is why divorce has a negative impact on kids. I would never have my teenager curtail their social life on weekends to force them to spend time with me. Hell, I’m married to my teen’s father and we don’t see DC half the weekend because he’s out doing stuff.

+1. Dad wants to move and this isn't a big deal, HE can rent a place and come stay in the teens' hometown two weekends of the month to see them. There is no reason they should have to totally rearrange their lives for a grown man's convenience and pleasure. None. And I am sure you agree with me it is not a big deal for him to do this for four days a month, right? Clearly the exH is the drama king here. So sorry you and your kids are dealing with this, OP. I hope for your and your kids' sake you get a sensible judge and not a "men's rights" activist like PP.

He does not need to rent a place. Kids are to spend time with Dad. It’s 4 days. It will not kill then. The issue is transportation. Yes I have teens and they are in daily activities. Family cones first. They have 26-28 other days in the month.

If family came first, Dad wouldn’t be moving away for a woman and turning his kids’ lives upside down. It will not kill DAD to come to their town for 4 days, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awful as it is, it’s probably good that you’re heading to mediation. This new arrangement is going to create more issues than just driving. Hopefully a mediator will be helpful in reaching an arrangement that is more palatable to your kids, especially the oldest. This really sucks for them.

Totally agree this move sucks for the kids. Especially these ages when they have social lives, extracurriculars, and maybe even jobs to handle on the weekends

Its two weekends a month/4 days. Stop being so dramatic. Kids see their Dad twice a month for 4 days total. They have plenty of other days to do that stuff.

You’re dense or don’t have teenagers. The kids are in school and activities during the week. Their dad is trying to monopolize 50% of their free time a month. That sucks. This is why divorce has a negative impact on kids. I would never have my teenager curtail their social life on weekends to force them to spend time with me. Hell, I’m married to my teen’s father and we don’t see DC half the weekend because he’s out doing stuff.

+1. Dad wants to move and this isn't a big deal, HE can rent a place and come stay in the teens' hometown two weekends of the month to see them. There is no reason they should have to totally rearrange their lives for a grown man's convenience and pleasure. None. And I am sure you agree with me it is not a big deal for him to do this for four days a month, right? Clearly the exH is the drama king here. So sorry you and your kids are dealing with this, OP. I hope for your and your kids' sake you get a sensible judge and not a "men's rights" activist like PP.

He does not need to rent a place. Kids are to spend time with Dad. It’s 4 days. It will not kill then. The issue is transportation. Yes I have teens and they are in daily activities. Family cones first. They have 26-28 other days in the month.

If family came first, Dad wouldn’t be moving away for a woman and turning his kids’ lives upside down. It will not kill DAD to come to their town for 4 days, right?

Parents are long divorced. We don't know why? Maybe Mom had the affair for all we know. It doesn't matter. That's not parenting, that's visiting and he is entitled to kids at his house/parenting. Its 4 days. Don't complain when kids cut dad out of their life because their friends and social life is more important or work is more important. They can pay for their own college, activities and more since who needs Dad at that point.

People here complain Dad's are not part of their kids lives. THIS is why! OP clearly isn't saying this but others are very clearing saying Dad should no longer be a part of these kids lives which is very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awful as it is, it’s probably good that you’re heading to mediation. This new arrangement is going to create more issues than just driving. Hopefully a mediator will be helpful in reaching an arrangement that is more palatable to your kids, especially the oldest. This really sucks for them.

Totally agree this move sucks for the kids. Especially these ages when they have social lives, extracurriculars, and maybe even jobs to handle on the weekends

Its two weekends a month/4 days. Stop being so dramatic. Kids see their Dad twice a month for 4 days total. They have plenty of other days to do that stuff.

You’re dense or don’t have teenagers. The kids are in school and activities during the week. Their dad is trying to monopolize 50% of their free time a month. That sucks. This is why divorce has a negative impact on kids. I would never have my teenager curtail their social life on weekends to force them to spend time with me. Hell, I’m married to my teen’s father and we don’t see DC half the weekend because he’s out doing stuff.

+1. Dad wants to move and this isn't a big deal, HE can rent a place and come stay in the teens' hometown two weekends of the month to see them. There is no reason they should have to totally rearrange their lives for a grown man's convenience and pleasure. None. And I am sure you agree with me it is not a big deal for him to do this for four days a month, right? Clearly the exH is the drama king here. So sorry you and your kids are dealing with this, OP. I hope for your and your kids' sake you get a sensible judge and not a "men's rights" activist like PP.

He does not need to rent a place. Kids are to spend time with Dad. It’s 4 days. It will not kill then. The issue is transportation. Yes I have teens and they are in daily activities. Family cones first. They have 26-28 other days in the month.

If family came first, Dad wouldn’t be moving away for a woman and turning his kids’ lives upside down. It will not kill DAD to come to their town for 4 days, right?

Parents are long divorced. We don't know why? Maybe Mom had the affair for all we know. It doesn't matter. That's not parenting, that's visiting and he is entitled to kids at his house/parenting. Its 4 days. Don't complain when kids cut dad out of their life because their friends and social life is more important or work is more important. They can pay for their own college, activities and more since who needs Dad at that point.

People here complain Dad's are not part of their kids lives. THIS is why! OP clearly isn't saying this but others are very clearing saying Dad should no longer be a part of these kids lives which is very sad.

Oh FFS, the *dad* is the one who is moving away.

Entitled POSs think the work revolves around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awful as it is, it’s probably good that you’re heading to mediation. This new arrangement is going to create more issues than just driving. Hopefully a mediator will be helpful in reaching an arrangement that is more palatable to your kids, especially the oldest. This really sucks for them.

Totally agree this move sucks for the kids. Especially these ages when they have social lives, extracurriculars, and maybe even jobs to handle on the weekends

Its two weekends a month/4 days. Stop being so dramatic. Kids see their Dad twice a month for 4 days total. They have plenty of other days to do that stuff.

You’re dense or don’t have teenagers. The kids are in school and activities during the week. Their dad is trying to monopolize 50% of their free time a month. That sucks. This is why divorce has a negative impact on kids. I would never have my teenager curtail their social life on weekends to force them to spend time with me. Hell, I’m married to my teen’s father and we don’t see DC half the weekend because he’s out doing stuff.

+1. Dad wants to move and this isn't a big deal, HE can rent a place and come stay in the teens' hometown two weekends of the month to see them. There is no reason they should have to totally rearrange their lives for a grown man's convenience and pleasure. None. And I am sure you agree with me it is not a big deal for him to do this for four days a month, right? Clearly the exH is the drama king here. So sorry you and your kids are dealing with this, OP. I hope for your and your kids' sake you get a sensible judge and not a "men's rights" activist like PP.

He does not need to rent a place. Kids are to spend time with Dad. It’s 4 days. It will not kill then. The issue is transportation. Yes I have teens and they are in daily activities. Family cones first. They have 26-28 other days in the month.

If family came first, Dad wouldn’t be moving away for a woman and turning his kids’ lives upside down. It will not kill DAD to come to their town for 4 days, right?

Parents are long divorced. We don't know why? Maybe Mom had the affair for all we know. It doesn't matter. That's not parenting, that's visiting and he is entitled to kids at his house/parenting. Its 4 days. Don't complain when kids cut dad out of their life because their friends and social life is more important or work is more important. They can pay for their own college, activities and more since who needs Dad at that point.

People here complain Dad's are not part of their kids lives. THIS is why! OP clearly isn't saying this but others are very clearing saying Dad should no longer be a part of these kids lives which is very sad.

Oh FFS, the *dad* is the one who is moving away.

Entitled POSs think the work revolves around them.

Parents are divorced. He gets 4 days a month. Both parents are entitled to move on. Grow up. Sad how bitter you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awful as it is, it’s probably good that you’re heading to mediation. This new arrangement is going to create more issues than just driving. Hopefully a mediator will be helpful in reaching an arrangement that is more palatable to your kids, especially the oldest. This really sucks for them.

Totally agree this move sucks for the kids. Especially these ages when they have social lives, extracurriculars, and maybe even jobs to handle on the weekends

Its two weekends a month/4 days. Stop being so dramatic. Kids see their Dad twice a month for 4 days total. They have plenty of other days to do that stuff.

You’re dense or don’t have teenagers. The kids are in school and activities during the week. Their dad is trying to monopolize 50% of their free time a month. That sucks. This is why divorce has a negative impact on kids. I would never have my teenager curtail their social life on weekends to force them to spend time with me. Hell, I’m married to my teen’s father and we don’t see DC half the weekend because he’s out doing stuff.

+1. Dad wants to move and this isn't a big deal, HE can rent a place and come stay in the teens' hometown two weekends of the month to see them. There is no reason they should have to totally rearrange their lives for a grown man's convenience and pleasure. None. And I am sure you agree with me it is not a big deal for him to do this for four days a month, right? Clearly the exH is the drama king here. So sorry you and your kids are dealing with this, OP. I hope for your and your kids' sake you get a sensible judge and not a "men's rights" activist like PP.

He does not need to rent a place. Kids are to spend time with Dad. It’s 4 days. It will not kill then. The issue is transportation. Yes I have teens and they are in daily activities. Family cones first. They have 26-28 other days in the month.

If family came first, Dad wouldn’t be moving away for a woman and turning his kids’ lives upside down. It will not kill DAD to come to their town for 4 days, right?

Parents are long divorced. We don't know why? Maybe Mom had the affair for all we know. It doesn't matter. That's not parenting, that's visiting and he is entitled to kids at his house/parenting. Its 4 days. Don't complain when kids cut dad out of their life because their friends and social life is more important or work is more important. They can pay for their own college, activities and more since who needs Dad at that point.

People here complain Dad's are not part of their kids lives. THIS is why! OP clearly isn't saying this but others are very clearing saying Dad should no longer be a part of these kids lives which is very sad.

Oh FFS, the *dad* is the one who is moving away.

Entitled POSs think the work revolves around them.

Parents are divorced. He gets 4 days a month. Both parents are entitled to move on. Grow up. Sad how bitter you are.

I’m not bitter at all. The dad can “move on” without making life logistically challenging for everyone else and feel entitled to have everyone contort around him. If he cared for his kids he wouldn’t make their lives so difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awful as it is, it’s probably good that you’re heading to mediation. This new arrangement is going to create more issues than just driving. Hopefully a mediator will be helpful in reaching an arrangement that is more palatable to your kids, especially the oldest. This really sucks for them.

Totally agree this move sucks for the kids. Especially these ages when they have social lives, extracurriculars, and maybe even jobs to handle on the weekends

Its two weekends a month/4 days. Stop being so dramatic. Kids see their Dad twice a month for 4 days total. They have plenty of other days to do that stuff.

You’re dense or don’t have teenagers. The kids are in school and activities during the week. Their dad is trying to monopolize 50% of their free time a month. That sucks. This is why divorce has a negative impact on kids. I would never have my teenager curtail their social life on weekends to force them to spend time with me. Hell, I’m married to my teen’s father and we don’t see DC half the weekend because he’s out doing stuff.

+1. Dad wants to move and this isn't a big deal, HE can rent a place and come stay in the teens' hometown two weekends of the month to see them. There is no reason they should have to totally rearrange their lives for a grown man's convenience and pleasure. None. And I am sure you agree with me it is not a big deal for him to do this for four days a month, right? Clearly the exH is the drama king here. So sorry you and your kids are dealing with this, OP. I hope for your and your kids' sake you get a sensible judge and not a "men's rights" activist like PP.

He does not need to rent a place. Kids are to spend time with Dad. It’s 4 days. It will not kill then. The issue is transportation. Yes I have teens and they are in daily activities. Family cones first. They have 26-28 other days in the month.

If family came first, Dad wouldn’t be moving away for a woman and turning his kids’ lives upside down. It will not kill DAD to come to their town for 4 days, right?

Parents are long divorced. We don't know why? Maybe Mom had the affair for all we know. It doesn't matter. That's not parenting, that's visiting and he is entitled to kids at his house/parenting. Its 4 days. Don't complain when kids cut dad out of their life because their friends and social life is more important or work is more important. They can pay for their own college, activities and more since who needs Dad at that point.

People here complain Dad's are not part of their kids lives. THIS is why! OP clearly isn't saying this but others are very clearing saying Dad should no longer be a part of these kids lives which is very sad.

Oh FFS, the *dad* is the one who is moving away.

Entitled POSs think the work revolves around them.

Parents are divorced. He gets 4 days a month. Both parents are entitled to move on. Grow up. Sad how bitter you are.

I’m not bitter at all. The dad can “move on” without making life logistically challenging for everyone else and feel entitled to have everyone contort around him. If he cared for his kids he wouldn’t make their lives so difficult.

My DSC’s mother moved 35 miles away in the DMV (which is like an hour in more traffic) and then demanded full custody because it was logistically impossible to have DSC still in school near us/do 50/50 custody. Went to court and got it, as DSC articulated a preference for her house if they had to choose one house. The move was to be with a new DH (they are now separated). She asked for DH to do all the driving, but the judge made her do half.

Mothers don’t get called selfish for moving away if they take their kids with them.

Honestly, DH was devastated for about 2 years but it’s been almost 10 now and everyone has adjusted to the situation.

Op, your kids will be fine with the move. They will grumble and complain, but it won’t change their life trajectory. And yes, the driving sucks, but you can turn it into something that ok/nice tradition with your kids if you have to.

And if the roads are not terrible, I don’t see why your 16yo can’t drive themselves soon - I grew up in Texas and regularly drive 30-60 miles per day to school/friends houses, etc. and a car payment is cheaper than paying for an attorney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My DSC’s mother moved 35 miles away in the DMV (which is like an hour in more traffic) and then demanded full custody because it was logistically impossible to have DSC still in school near us/do 50/50 custody. Went to court and got it, as DSC articulated a preference for her house if they had to choose one house. The move was to be with a new DH (they are now separated). She asked for DH to do all the driving, but the judge made her do half.

Mothers don’t get called selfish for moving away if they take their kids with them.

Honestly, DH was devastated for about 2 years but it’s been almost 10 now and everyone has adjusted to the situation.

Op, your kids will be fine with the move. They will grumble and complain, but it won’t change their life trajectory. And yes, the driving sucks, but you can turn it into something that ok/nice tradition with your kids if you have to.

And if the roads are not terrible, I don’t see why your 16yo can’t drive themselves soon - I grew up in Texas and regularly drive 30-60 miles per day to school/friends houses, etc. and a car payment is cheaper than paying for an attorney.

You honestly think that not being able to play sports, be in the school drama productions, participate in marching band, or have a part time job in high school will not "change their life trajectory?"
Because if OP's kids have to go an hour away every other weekend and their dad is not willing to drive them back home for these activities, all those activities are off the table for them.
No high school coach is going to put someone on the team who won't be able to make half the games.

Did YOU do anything in high school? Play a sport? Play in the orchestra? Work at a local ice cream shop?
Or did you just go to school, and sit at home with your parents every single weekend for 4 years? Because if you didn't just sit at home (and force your own kids to do so, if you have them) you have absolutely no room to talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awful as it is, it’s probably good that you’re heading to mediation. This new arrangement is going to create more issues than just driving. Hopefully a mediator will be helpful in reaching an arrangement that is more palatable to your kids, especially the oldest. This really sucks for them.

Totally agree this move sucks for the kids. Especially these ages when they have social lives, extracurriculars, and maybe even jobs to handle on the weekends

Its two weekends a month/4 days. Stop being so dramatic. Kids see their Dad twice a month for 4 days total. They have plenty of other days to do that stuff.

You’re dense or don’t have teenagers. The kids are in school and activities during the week. Their dad is trying to monopolize 50% of their free time a month. That sucks. This is why divorce has a negative impact on kids. I would never have my teenager curtail their social life on weekends to force them to spend time with me. Hell, I’m married to my teen’s father and we don’t see DC half the weekend because he’s out doing stuff.

+1. Dad wants to move and this isn't a big deal, HE can rent a place and come stay in the teens' hometown two weekends of the month to see them. There is no reason they should have to totally rearrange their lives for a grown man's convenience and pleasure. None. And I am sure you agree with me it is not a big deal for him to do this for four days a month, right? Clearly the exH is the drama king here. So sorry you and your kids are dealing with this, OP. I hope for your and your kids' sake you get a sensible judge and not a "men's rights" activist like PP.

He does not need to rent a place. Kids are to spend time with Dad. It’s 4 days. It will not kill then. The issue is transportation. Yes I have teens and they are in daily activities. Family cones first. They have 26-28 other days in the month.

If family came first, Dad wouldn’t be moving away for a woman and turning his kids’ lives upside down. It will not kill DAD to come to their town for 4 days, right?

Parents are long divorced. We don't know why? Maybe Mom had the affair for all we know. It doesn't matter. That's not parenting, that's visiting and he is entitled to kids at his house/parenting. Its 4 days. Don't complain when kids cut dad out of their life because their friends and social life is more important or work is more important. They can pay for their own college, activities and more since who needs Dad at that point.

People here complain Dad's are not part of their kids lives. THIS is why! OP clearly isn't saying this but others are very clearing saying Dad should no longer be a part of these kids lives which is very sad.

Oh FFS, the *dad* is the one who is moving away.

Entitled POSs think the work revolves around them.

Parents are divorced. He gets 4 days a month. Both parents are entitled to move on. Grow up. Sad how bitter you are.

I’m not bitter at all. The dad can “move on” without making life logistically challenging for everyone else and feel entitled to have everyone contort around him. If he cared for his kids he wouldn’t make their lives so difficult.

My DSC’s mother moved 35 miles away in the DMV (which is like an hour in more traffic) and then demanded full custody because it was logistically impossible to have DSC still in school near us/do 50/50 custody. Went to court and got it, as DSC articulated a preference for her house if they had to choose one house. The move was to be with a new DH (they are now separated). She asked for DH to do all the driving, but the judge made her do half.

Mothers don’t get called selfish for moving away if they take their kids with them.

Honestly, DH was devastated for about 2 years but it’s been almost 10 now and everyone has adjusted to the situation.

Op, your kids will be fine with the move. They will grumble and complain, but it won’t change their life trajectory. And yes, the driving sucks, but you can turn it into something that ok/nice tradition with your kids if you have to.

And if the roads are not terrible, I don’t see why your 16yo can’t drive themselves soon - I grew up in Texas and regularly drive 30-60 miles per day to school/friends houses, etc. and a car payment is cheaper than paying for an attorney.

That was selfish of her. But at least it wasn’t as far away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Awful as it is, it’s probably good that you’re heading to mediation. This new arrangement is going to create more issues than just driving. Hopefully a mediator will be helpful in reaching an arrangement that is more palatable to your kids, especially the oldest. This really sucks for them.

Totally agree this move sucks for the kids. Especially these ages when they have social lives, extracurriculars, and maybe even jobs to handle on the weekends

Its two weekends a month/4 days. Stop being so dramatic. Kids see their Dad twice a month for 4 days total. They have plenty of other days to do that stuff.

You’re dense or don’t have teenagers. The kids are in school and activities during the week. Their dad is trying to monopolize 50% of their free time a month. That sucks. This is why divorce has a negative impact on kids. I would never have my teenager curtail their social life on weekends to force them to spend time with me. Hell, I’m married to my teen’s father and we don’t see DC half the weekend because he’s out doing stuff.

+1. Dad wants to move and this isn't a big deal, HE can rent a place and come stay in the teens' hometown two weekends of the month to see them. There is no reason they should have to totally rearrange their lives for a grown man's convenience and pleasure. None. And I am sure you agree with me it is not a big deal for him to do this for four days a month, right? Clearly the exH is the drama king here. So sorry you and your kids are dealing with this, OP. I hope for your and your kids' sake you get a sensible judge and not a "men's rights" activist like PP.

He does not need to rent a place. Kids are to spend time with Dad. It’s 4 days. It will not kill then. The issue is transportation. Yes I have teens and they are in daily activities. Family cones first. They have 26-28 other days in the month.

If family came first, Dad wouldn’t be moving away for a woman and turning his kids’ lives upside down. It will not kill DAD to come to their town for 4 days, right?

Parents are long divorced. We don't know why? Maybe Mom had the affair for all we know. It doesn't matter. That's not parenting, that's visiting and he is entitled to kids at his house/parenting. Its 4 days. Don't complain when kids cut dad out of their life because their friends and social life is more important or work is more important. They can pay for their own college, activities and more since who needs Dad at that point.

People here complain Dad's are not part of their kids lives. THIS is why! OP clearly isn't saying this but others are very clearing saying Dad should no longer be a part of these kids lives which is very sad.

Oh FFS, the *dad* is the one who is moving away.

Entitled POSs think the work revolves around them.

Parents are divorced. He gets 4 days a month. Both parents are entitled to move on. Grow up. Sad how bitter you are.

I’m not bitter at all. The dad can “move on” without making life logistically challenging for everyone else and feel entitled to have everyone contort around him. If he cared for his kids he wouldn’t make their lives so difficult.

My DSC’s mother moved 35 miles away in the DMV (which is like an hour in more traffic) and then demanded full custody because it was logistically impossible to have DSC still in school near us/do 50/50 custody. Went to court and got it, as DSC articulated a preference for her house if they had to choose one house. The move was to be with a new DH (they are now separated). She asked for DH to do all the driving, but the judge made her do half.

Mothers don’t get called selfish for moving away if they take their kids with them.

Honestly, DH was devastated for about 2 years but it’s been almost 10 now and everyone has adjusted to the situation.

Op, your kids will be fine with the move. They will grumble and complain, but it won’t change their life trajectory. And yes, the driving sucks, but you can turn it into something that ok/nice tradition with your kids if you have to.

And if the roads are not terrible, I don’t see why your 16yo can’t drive themselves soon - I grew up in Texas and regularly drive 30-60 miles per day to school/friends houses, etc. and a car payment is cheaper than paying for an attorney.

That was selfish of her. But at least it wasn’t as far away.

You are entirely missing the point and justifying it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My DSC’s mother moved 35 miles away in the DMV (which is like an hour in more traffic) and then demanded full custody because it was logistically impossible to have DSC still in school near us/do 50/50 custody. Went to court and got it, as DSC articulated a preference for her house if they had to choose one house. The move was to be with a new DH (they are now separated). She asked for DH to do all the driving, but the judge made her do half.

Mothers don’t get called selfish for moving away if they take their kids with them.

Honestly, DH was devastated for about 2 years but it’s been almost 10 now and everyone has adjusted to the situation.

Op, your kids will be fine with the move. They will grumble and complain, but it won’t change their life trajectory. And yes, the driving sucks, but you can turn it into something that ok/nice tradition with your kids if you have to.

And if the roads are not terrible, I don’t see why your 16yo can’t drive themselves soon - I grew up in Texas and regularly drive 30-60 miles per day to school/friends houses, etc. and a car payment is cheaper than paying for an attorney.

You honestly think that not being able to play sports, be in the school drama productions, participate in marching band, or have a part time job in high school will not "change their life trajectory?"
Because if OP's kids have to go an hour away every other weekend and their dad is not willing to drive them back home for these activities, all those activities are off the table for them.
No high school coach is going to put someone on the team who won't be able to make half the games.

Did YOU do anything in high school? Play a sport? Play in the orchestra? Work at a local ice cream shop?
Or did you just go to school, and sit at home with your parents every single weekend for 4 years? Because if you didn't just sit at home (and force your own kids to do so, if you have them) you have absolutely no room to talk.

Yes, and my kids are in daily and multiple activities and private lessons. We have to rearrange and cancel things when other stuff comes up. Work at an ice cream store should not take priority over seeing Dad 4 nights a week. You are saying the NCP is not a priority or important and probably the same person who complains when Dad gives up and will not pay for college. They can take their ice cream money. If mom is getting child support, teen can miss 4 days of work to see their parent. We aren't talking 50/50 custody, we are talking 4 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My DSC’s mother moved 35 miles away in the DMV (which is like an hour in more traffic) and then demanded full custody because it was logistically impossible to have DSC still in school near us/do 50/50 custody. Went to court and got it, as DSC articulated a preference for her house if they had to choose one house. The move was to be with a new DH (they are now separated). She asked for DH to do all the driving, but the judge made her do half.

Mothers don’t get called selfish for moving away if they take their kids with them.

Honestly, DH was devastated for about 2 years but it’s been almost 10 now and everyone has adjusted to the situation.

Op, your kids will be fine with the move. They will grumble and complain, but it won’t change their life trajectory. And yes, the driving sucks, but you can turn it into something that ok/nice tradition with your kids if you have to.

And if the roads are not terrible, I don’t see why your 16yo can’t drive themselves soon - I grew up in Texas and regularly drive 30-60 miles per day to school/friends houses, etc. and a car payment is cheaper than paying for an attorney.

You honestly think that not being able to play sports, be in the school drama productions, participate in marching band, or have a part time job in high school will not "change their life trajectory?"
Because if OP's kids have to go an hour away every other weekend and their dad is not willing to drive them back home for these activities, all those activities are off the table for them.
No high school coach is going to put someone on the team who won't be able to make half the games.

Did YOU do anything in high school? Play a sport? Play in the orchestra? Work at a local ice cream shop?
Or did you just go to school, and sit at home with your parents every single weekend for 4 years? Because if you didn't just sit at home (and force your own kids to do so, if you have them) you have absolutely no room to talk.

Yes, and my kids are in daily and multiple activities and private lessons. We have to rearrange and cancel things when other stuff comes up. Work at an ice cream store should not take priority over seeing Dad 4 nights a week. You are saying the NCP is not a priority or important and probably the same person who complains when Dad gives up and will not pay for college. They can take their ice cream money. If mom is getting child support, teen can miss 4 days of work to see their parent. We aren't talking 50/50 custody, we are talking 4 days.

Oh, YOUR kids do activities but you think OTHER kids are obnoxious if they want to. Disgusting hypocrite

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Anonymous wrote:Awful as it is, it’s probably good that you’re heading to mediation. This new arrangement is going to create more issues than just driving. Hopefully a mediator will be helpful in reaching an arrangement that is more palatable to your kids, especially the oldest. This really sucks for them.

Totally agree this move sucks for the kids. Especially these ages when they have social lives, extracurriculars, and maybe even jobs to handle on the weekends

Its two weekends a month/4 days. Stop being so dramatic. Kids see their Dad twice a month for 4 days total. They have plenty of other days to do that stuff.

You’re dense or don’t have teenagers. The kids are in school and activities during the week. Their dad is trying to monopolize 50% of their free time a month. That sucks. This is why divorce has a negative impact on kids. I would never have my teenager curtail their social life on weekends to force them to spend time with me. Hell, I’m married to my teen’s father and we don’t see DC half the weekend because he’s out doing stuff.

+1. Dad wants to move and this isn't a big deal, HE can rent a place and come stay in the teens' hometown two weekends of the month to see them. There is no reason they should have to totally rearrange their lives for a grown man's convenience and pleasure. None. And I am sure you agree with me it is not a big deal for him to do this for four days a month, right? Clearly the exH is the drama king here. So sorry you and your kids are dealing with this, OP. I hope for your and your kids' sake you get a sensible judge and not a "men's rights" activist like PP.

He does not need to rent a place. Kids are to spend time with Dad. It’s 4 days. It will not kill then. The issue is transportation. Yes I have teens and they are in daily activities. Family cones first. They have 26-28 other days in the month.

If family came first, Dad wouldn’t be moving away for a woman and turning his kids’ lives upside down. It will not kill DAD to come to their town for 4 days, right?

Parents are long divorced. We don't know why? Maybe Mom had the affair for all we know. It doesn't matter. That's not parenting, that's visiting and he is entitled to kids at his house/parenting. Its 4 days. Don't complain when kids cut dad out of their life because their friends and social life is more important or work is more important. They can pay for their own college, activities and more since who needs Dad at that point.

People here complain Dad's are not part of their kids lives. THIS is why! OP clearly isn't saying this but others are very clearing saying Dad should no longer be a part of these kids lives which is very sad.

Oh FFS, the *dad* is the one who is moving away.

Entitled POSs think the work revolves around them.

Parents are divorced. He gets 4 days a month. Both parents are entitled to move on. Grow up. Sad how bitter you are.

I’m not bitter at all. The dad can “move on” without making life logistically challenging for everyone else and feel entitled to have everyone contort around him. If he cared for his kids he wouldn’t make their lives so difficult.

My DSC’s mother moved 35 miles away in the DMV (which is like an hour in more traffic) and then demanded full custody because it was logistically impossible to have DSC still in school near us/do 50/50 custody. Went to court and got it, as DSC articulated a preference for her house if they had to choose one house. The move was to be with a new DH (they are now separated). She asked for DH to do all the driving, but the judge made her do half.

Mothers don’t get called selfish for moving away if they take their kids with them.

Honestly, DH was devastated for about 2 years but it’s been almost 10 now and everyone has adjusted to the situation.

Op, your kids will be fine with the move. They will grumble and complain, but it won’t change their life trajectory. And yes, the driving sucks, but you can turn it into something that ok/nice tradition with your kids if you have to.

And if the roads are not terrible, I don’t see why your 16yo can’t drive themselves soon - I grew up in Texas and regularly drive 30-60 miles per day to school/friends houses, etc. and a car payment is cheaper than paying for an attorney.

That was selfish of her. But at least it wasn’t as far away.

You are entirely missing the point and justifying it.

What point?

If she moved farther away I'd say that was a worse move.

[Anonymous]

Ironic that some MRA fool is on here defending the dad and saying “THIS is why dads aren’t part of kids’ lives” as I’d it’s the kids or the Mom’s fault.

It’s the DAD who is moving away. THAT is why the kids re less a part of his life.

I’m not someone who thinks family life should revolve around kid sports or activities, but in HS it is different…that is a young adult’s life, and any job, team, or serious club is going to require a commitment that isn’t possible every other weekend in most cases.

The father is being cartoonishly selfish.

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Anonymous wrote:Your kids are 14 and 16 and aren’t going to want to be trapped in the middle of nowhere every other weekend. Has your ex considered this? Is your 16 year old driving?

16 year old can drive but does not have their own car, nor am I comfortable letting my kid drive my car 3 hours round trip every other weekend with little sibling in the car (and more in the summer).

Ex thinks the schedule should stay exactly the same. Kids are very unhappy about it.

So raise the question with the court of whether the kids have to keep the same schedule.