Girlfriend Meeting Judgmental Friends

[Anonymous]

Clearly, the answer here is blackmail

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is about education, not income.

OP you sound misogynistic if you think your friends are so great but ALL the wives suck?

This! OP is intimidated by their wives because he knows he probably can’t get the same caliber. So he insults them and says they are ALL meanies. I expect the op’s response is he would never be interested in them. The high earning wives are probably also very attractive and into fitness. Though I am sure the response will be they are not and are fat. Seeing the pattern here.

Very perceptive and a valid theory. It is interesting that the OP did not respond to the question of how his girlfriend compares to the wives in looks. If the girlfriend is less hot, then this is probably about the OP's own insecurity. If the GF is hotter, then who cares what the wives think of her career? It is hard to analyze this much further until we know how the GF compares.

OP here. I haven’t been on here for the last couple of days to respond. I’ve been very busy with work.

As for your question, they are all technically considered attractive. There are 5 wives - one of which I don’t find attractive. She’s nice, but not my type at all. Very knew with a runners body and no T&A. I like my women with curves. The rest are all attractive. Everyone is fit except the one who has two kids, but I assume that is pretty normal.

I’m not intimated by them. They are nice people but feel like it’s their place to make sure I find someone “ good enough”. That’s exactly what happened with one of my friends former girlfriends ( he’s now engaged). She was a receptionist and very lovely. They told him how he can do better and needed someone on par with his career and lifestyle.

My girlfriend is just as attractive. She’s a little younger than them, but only by a couple of years. She’s fit with big boobs, like I like em. She has a bachelors degree and is very smart. She’s just so cute, sexy, and funny.

I talked to my friends and told them to tell their wives to tone things down. I like her and I do not want them to say anything. That’s a whole other story if they actually tell them. They are not terrible people. They just think they know what’s best for us. Each of them did it when they found their wives. My friends are fine. One can be a bit like them, but none are. The funniest thing is we all grew up in very middle class homes without money. Most of the wives grew up a little more affluent.

OP I was with you until this post. You sound superficial and misogynistic. You met her through work but she is apparently lower on the totem pole than you - I bet that’s what your friends are judging you for. It’s like a lawyer/secretary or doctor/nurse situation. I cringe when I see guys in a higher power position prey on who they see as the “help.” You could do better but you prefer someone who will just be pretty, take care from you, and put you on a pedestal. Yuck.

I disagree with you on the doctor/nurse situation. I have many MD friends with spouses who are nurses and they have never looked down on them. Nursing is amazing career. I know many doctors who say nurses do not get enough recognition. I’ve never known anyone who felt nurses were low on totem pole or considered prey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Can she handle* herself with these judgies I meant.

OP here. She can handle herself. She grew up as one of the only with kids in a predominantly Hispanic/Black area for half of her life. She is trained in various self defense methods. She is tough and knows how to hold her wok. Very sweet but it’s advised they don’t get on her bad side.

WTF is this supposed to mean? You sound more and more like an a-hole with each post!

OP here. It was a typo. I meant to say she grew up as one of the only white people in a predominantly Hispanic/black area for half of her life. She was bullied by many people for being white, mostly by one guy in particular who used to make fun of her everyday and said many times he was going to sexually assault her. She said she had a rough childhood because she grew up poor and was constantly bullied at school because of her clothes.
She didn’t have many friends when she was a kid because most of them refused to hang out with her because she was white. She started talking self defense classes as a teen because of it. She wanted to be able to defend herself. I’m saying she has been through some rough stuff and didn’t grow up in a sugar coated world. She knows how to protect herself and stand up for herself. She can hold her own.

I’m a white woman who grew up poor in an urban area. If you aren’t a troll, I would tell this lady to run. It sounds like you kinda look down on her and are looking for a reason NOT to stand up for her. So if she grew up poor and around brown people, she shouldn’t have you stand up for her In front of your friends? Is this a test to see if she will put up with abuse and “be tough and hang in there”??
Run ladies. Stay with this guy and ten years from now, he will agree with anyone who tears you down in public...and when you complain later he will argue about all the reasons he’s justified because in his mind “he’s superior and others agree too.”

[Anonymous]

Any updates?

[Anonymous]

WTF is wrong with you, op. Even my preschooler knows you don’t allow people to be mean to a woman you love. In his case that woman is his mom and his sisters, my hope is that this will transolate to a girlfriend or wife when he’s older.

Why would you subject your girlfriend to such treatment? She may have had to deal with some nasty treatment at work, school, home.. that doesn’t mean you expect it of her for a social outing.. one where she’s the girlfriend meaning she has to play nice even if the others don’t. Racism bullying and other bad behavior can be very subtle, it’s not like an after school special where you have the fights for dramatic effect.

This sort of treatment will lead to one or two things, maybe both. You ditch these friends, you break up, or she breaks up with you and then you ditch those friends wich little chance she’ll ever want to see you again.

Your job is to protect and love her. Praise her to the skies. Put your arm around her. Make sure she’s comfortable physically and emotionally. Redirect or shut down any conversation that trends toward something you think she’d not like, I.e “Remember when you and (insert ex’s name) went with us to.. how is she doing, I sure do miss her”. Leave the gathering holding hands if need be. Do not allow people to pick on her, mistreat her, be garden variety rude or tell you that you could do better, that’s a terrible thing to say. She doesn’t need to, nor should she put up with bad treatment from a social group. You are her boyfriend, not the father in A Boy Named Sue where your job is to toughen somebody up. Your job is to make her life as easy and comfortable and peaceful as possible. These friends aren’t helping you do that to the point where this thread has gone on for 8 pages. Why, op? Think of all the fun you and this amazing girlfriend could have had instead.

Finally, know that these wives may want you to remain single. Also, your friends aren’t nice people if they pick people as you describe to share their lives with. Don’t excuse bad behavior no matter how attractive it looks or how minor it seems.

[Anonymous]

I say, let her open a can of whoop ass if she must, and that includes on you, OP. 💅🏽

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please. Op's guy friends are great but universally married awful snobby women?

Sounds like misogyny to me.

I can see it. Most men don’t care about a woman’s profession. I’ve seen snobby women judge on things like profession, the woman’s husbands job, how big their ring is, etc. Women can be catty and act like teenagers.

Except OP cares just as much about what his friends make as he says his friends' wives care about what his gf makes. "All the men make at least $300k, lawyers, doctors, finance; plenty of money no matter where you live." They're all the exact same snob but somehow it's only a problem when the women do it? Agree with PPP this is misogyny.