Girlfriend Meeting Judgmental Friends

[Anonymous]

Think about what OP’s GF does every day - the patients she works with every day, the role she plays in their lives, the impact she can have when someone is in a vulnerable situation. And that would be devalued because she doesn’t earn those extra zeroes? Ditch the friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter what they think. If they're snobs, your girlfriend won't want to hang out with them anyway. If she senses they're not nice, she'll keep her distance. If she says anything to you about them, just tell her you agree they're not nice people and make sure your actions show that you're not expecting her to be buddy buddy with them. (For example, make her feel welcome to hang out with the guys if the girls are all off doing their own thing).

And interrupt the guy time? No. He just shouldn't make a big deal out of it period and be eternally grateful if she shows up to the couple events. But honestly, 1 of 2 things will happen: a) girlfriend will break up with OP because she finds his friends terrible and snobby b) Op realizes he has outgrown the friendship and phases them out.

Ugh, why do the sexes need to split up in social situations? This doesn’t happen in my social circle and it seems indicative of a very conservative, reactionary mindset. I’d not mingle with people who did this regularly.

Thinking the same thing. Do couple groups actually still do this? Mine does not. But…oops..we are all very educated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly dude, if they’re rude to her, you’re going to have to call them out to their face. Who’s more important to you, your girlfriend or a bunch of wives you don’t even care about.

This. Also, they will treat her as you treat her. Don't leave her and go off with the guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter what they think. If they're snobs, your girlfriend won't want to hang out with them anyway. If she senses they're not nice, she'll keep her distance. If she says anything to you about them, just tell her you agree they're not nice people and make sure your actions show that you're not expecting her to be buddy buddy with them. (For example, make her feel welcome to hang out with the guys if the girls are all off doing their own thing).

And interrupt the guy time? No. He just shouldn't make a big deal out of it period and be eternally grateful if she shows up to the couple events. But honestly, 1 of 2 things will happen: a) girlfriend will break up with OP because she finds his friends terrible and snobby b) Op realizes he has outgrown the friendship and phases them out.

Ugh, why do the sexes need to split up in social situations? This doesn’t happen in my social circle and it seems indicative of a very conservative, reactionary mindset. I’d not mingle with people who did this regularly.

People who start sentences with "ugh" are stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter what they think. If they're snobs, your girlfriend won't want to hang out with them anyway. If she senses they're not nice, she'll keep her distance. If she says anything to you about them, just tell her you agree they're not nice people and make sure your actions show that you're not expecting her to be buddy buddy with them. (For example, make her feel welcome to hang out with the guys if the girls are all off doing their own thing).

And interrupt the guy time? No. He just shouldn't make a big deal out of it period and be eternally grateful if she shows up to the couple events. But honestly, 1 of 2 things will happen: a) girlfriend will break up with OP because she finds his friends terrible and snobby b) Op realizes he has outgrown the friendship and phases them out.

Ugh, why do the sexes need to split up in social situations? This doesn’t happen in my social circle and it seems indicative of a very conservative, reactionary mindset. I’d not mingle with people who did this regularly.

Thinking the same thing. Do couple groups actually still do this? Mine does not. But…oops..we are all very educated.

Nowhere was it sed that sexes must split up in social situations. You both come across as ignorant and close minded despite how enlightened you think you are.

[Anonymous]

Who talks about their salaries???? Tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who talks about their salaries???? Tacky.

Tacky and snobby people. I'm not sure why. OP spends time with him, and I don't believe for a second his guy friends aren't the same way. If they were good guys no way could they have tolerated such snobs enough to marry them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter what they think. If they're snobs, your girlfriend won't want to hang out with them anyway. If she senses they're not nice, she'll keep her distance. If she says anything to you about them, just tell her you agree they're not nice people and make sure your actions show that you're not expecting her to be buddy buddy with them. (For example, make her feel welcome to hang out with the guys if the girls are all off doing their own thing).

And interrupt the guy time? No. He just shouldn't make a big deal out of it period and be eternally grateful if she shows up to the couple events. But honestly, 1 of 2 things will happen: a) girlfriend will break up with OP because she finds his friends terrible and snobby b) Op realizes he has outgrown the friendship and phases them out.

Ugh, why do the sexes need to split up in social situations? This doesn’t happen in my social circle and it seems indicative of a very conservative, reactionary mindset. I’d not mingle with people who did this regularly.

Thinking the same thing. Do couple groups actually still do this? Mine does not. But…oops..we are all very educated.

Nowhere was it sed that sexes must split up in social situations. You both come across as ignorant and close minded despite how enlightened you think you are.

We quoted a post that literally chided someone suggesting OP’s girlfriend could hang with him and the guys if she doesn’t fit in with the wives, saying it would impinge on “guy time”. If your takeaway of the meaning of that post was different than mine, I’m all ears, but the syntax of your sentences tell me that you’re likely not too smart, so I probably won’t be swayed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter what they think. If they're snobs, your girlfriend won't want to hang out with them anyway. If she senses they're not nice, she'll keep her distance. If she says anything to you about them, just tell her you agree they're not nice people and make sure your actions show that you're not expecting her to be buddy buddy with them. (For example, make her feel welcome to hang out with the guys if the girls are all off doing their own thing).

And interrupt the guy time? No. He just shouldn't make a big deal out of it period and be eternally grateful if she shows up to the couple events. But honestly, 1 of 2 things will happen: a) girlfriend will break up with OP because she finds his friends terrible and snobby b) Op realizes he has outgrown the friendship and phases them out.

At this first meeting, absolutely. He needs to let his girlfriend know he's there for her. Don't throw her to the wolves.

There will be plenty other opportunities for guy time and if the girlfriend wants to stay home, she can. But for the first introduction, guy time isn't necessary.

[Anonymous]

If OP's gf is medical tech, she has at least an associate's degree or the equivalent of and most likely has a Bachelor's degree in the sciences and has completed courses in biology and chemistry, etc. She's no dummy. She essentially makes it possible for his snobby friend's doctors to diagnosis them with whatever they have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is about education, not income.

OP you sound misogynistic if you think your friends are so great but ALL the wives suck?

This! OP is intimidated by their wives because he knows he probably can’t get the same caliber. So he insults them and says they are ALL meanies. I expect the op’s response is he would never be interested in them. The high earning wives are probably also very attractive and into fitness. Though I am sure the response will be they are not and are fat. Seeing the pattern here.

I am that PP and was thinking the same. This is OP's insecurity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t look at her through the eyes of your friends. Your friends aren’t the problem, you are.

Listen to this, op!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how does the girlfriend compare to the snarky wives in terms of attractiveness?

Hotter women bring out the worst in other women. No matter how much money they make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a female lawyer and I would think that someone who managed to make 60,000 a year being a medical tech without going hundreds of thousands into school debt in a growing, safe field like health care is pretty smart.

Being a receptionist is a bit different. But I still wouldn’t be snobby to the person’s face. I wonder if the receptionist was like 24 and incredibly hot. That I admit my friends and I might make snarky comments about. But just to each other, never to the girls face. Or even to the boyfriend unless she was like 20 years younger than us and him.

I wouldn’t worry about it. Just focus on making your girl friend feel comfortable.

So just behind her back, eh? If you think you're making yourself sound good here, you're not.

The female lawyer PP was not trying to make herself "sound good," and why would she on an anonymous forum? She was just offering an honest woman's perspective, which personally I appreciate. Here is an equally honest man's perspective. If I were in the OP's shoes, the only thing that would matter to me about these judgmental "successful" wives is how they look. If they are hot, then I would have superficial, flirty discussions at the party with lots of eye contact, and fantasize a bit. Most guys have a thing for the hot, stuck up sorority girl type. But in private I would joke with my own wife/girlfriend about what tacky snobs they are. If they are snobs and NOT hot, they would be invisible and meaningless to me. Either way, their opinion of my girlfriend would mean nothing.

[Anonymous]

A PP got it right. You stay with her all night except for the ladies room.