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[quote=Anonymous]WTF is wrong with you, op.  Even my preschooler knows you don’t allow people to be mean to a woman you love.  In his case that woman is his mom and his sisters, my hope is that this will transolate to a girlfriend or wife when he’s older.

Why would you subject your girlfriend to such treatment? She may have had to deal with some nasty treatment at work, school, home.. that doesn’t mean you expect it of her for a social outing.. one where she’s the girlfriend meaning she has to play nice even if the others don’t.  Racism bullying and other bad behavior can be very subtle, it’s not like an after school special where you have the fights for dramatic effect.

This sort of treatment will lead to one or two things, maybe both. You ditch these friends, you break up, or she breaks up with you and then you ditch those friends wich little chance she’ll ever want to see you again.

Your job is to protect and love her. Praise her to the skies.  Put your arm around her.  Make sure she’s comfortable physically and emotionally.  Redirect or shut down any conversation that trends toward something you think she’d not like, I.e “Remember when you and (insert ex’s name) went with us to.. how is she doing, I sure do miss her”. Leave the gathering holding hands if need be.  Do not allow people to pick on her, mistreat her, be garden variety rude or tell you that you could do better, that’s a terrible thing to say.  She doesn’t need to, nor should she put up with bad treatment from a social group.  You are her boyfriend, not the father in A Boy Named Sue where your job is to toughen somebody up. Your job is to make her life as easy and comfortable and peaceful as possible. These friends aren’t helping you do that to the point where this thread has gone on for 8 pages. Why, op? Think of all the fun you and this amazing girlfriend could have had instead.

Finally, know that these wives may want you to remain single.  Also, your friends aren’t nice people if they pick people as you describe to share their lives with.  Don’t excuse bad behavior no matter how attractive it looks or how minor it seems.   [/quote]

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