Started seeing this new guy. Overhead him on the phone say “I don’t hate her. It’s not like that”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That doesn’t sound good, OP. Don’t waste your time on this guy.

You’re making this a big deal. He’s clearly minimizing his feelings, so he does really like OP.

I don’t think so. If he really likes OP, why did he answer his phone?

He can still have feelings for OP and still care about his ex, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That doesn’t sound good, OP. Don’t waste your time on this guy.

You’re making this a big deal. He’s clearly minimizing his feelings, so he does really like OP.

I don’t think so. If he really likes OP, why did he answer his phone?

He can still have feelings for OP and still care about his ex, no?

The bar is in hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That doesn’t sound good, OP. Don’t waste your time on this guy.

You’re making this a big deal. He’s clearly minimizing his feelings, so he does really like OP.

What? There’s no good reason for someone to minimize their feelings except when they don’t exist.

Guys minimize their feelings to their guy friends all the time as to not appear “whipped”. It happens all the time.

All the more reason for OP to move on .what you are describing is little boy shit, not grown man behavior. Raise your standards, and stop encouraging other women to accept trash behavior because you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the line person who thinks that phone call doesn’t mean much. OP don’t jump to conclusions. If he has kids he still had to talk to ex. Or if divorce not final. Or many other reasons.

He doesn't have kids with his ex, and that is the only acceptable reason to answer the exes phone call and continue a conversation while out on a date. the other stuff you listed can wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the line person who thinks that phone call doesn’t mean much. OP don’t jump to conclusions. If he has kids he still had to talk to ex. Or if divorce not final. Or many other reasons.

They don’t have kids. No property. Nothing. I asked him why she felt so comfortable calling him to discuss this and he said it’s probably because they talked last month. I said, okay sooo? He said he saw her on a date while out and texted her and they ended up talking that day.

Oh hell no! OP, these 2 are not done dealing with each other and are incredibly childish and drama-filled. Don't waste your time with this nonsense. Drop the guy. There are other men.

[Anonymous]

OP, he is on the rebound and it does not seem like he is emotionally available or ready yet for anything more than casual dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, he is on the rebound and it does not seem like he is emotionally available or ready yet for anything more than casual dating.

Why be so negative? If he didn’t have feelings for OP why didn’t he just come right out and say, “no I don’t”?

[Anonymous]

Nothing at all about that overheard segment suggests that the was talking about OP.

[Anonymous]

What you heard is really not a big deal for someone that you are dating casually. i don't think you have learned much about whether you have future with him. If he told his gf, "I don't hate her." He was not denying that he has feelings for you, but also he it isn't a serious relationship (yet). Only you know if that is consistent with what he has shown you.

But you have learned that he is still in touch with his ex, and sufficiently invested that he would get up and leave to take her call. I actually don't think this is that big of a deal early on, unless you all are more serious than I can gather from your post.

Now that you brought it up to him, and he acted weird about it, it might be too much to overcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you heard is really not a big deal for someone that you are dating casually. i don't think you have learned much about whether you have future with him. If he told his gf, "I don't hate her." He was not denying that he has feelings for you, but also he it isn't a serious relationship (yet). Only you know if that is consistent with what he has shown you.

But you have learned that he is still in touch with his ex, and sufficiently invested that he would get up and leave to take her call. I actually don't think this is that big of a deal early on, unless you all are more serious than I can gather from your post.

Now that you brought it up to him, and he acted weird about it, it might be too much to overcome.

Did you miss the part where OP said he saw the ex out on a date and he got so upset about it to the point where he contacted his ex to talk about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, he is on the rebound and it does not seem like he is emotionally available or ready yet for anything more than casual dating.

Why be so negative? If he didn’t have feelings for OP why didn’t he just come right out and say, “no I don’t”?

What’s negative about what I said? He is clearly still emotionally involved with his ex. I didn’t say he is malicious or misleading OP, I don’t know that.

[Anonymous]

If he doesn't have kids with his ex, no reason to answer her calls while he is on a date with another woman. I mean, we have phones where we can see who is calling now--he made that choice. Let her have him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, he is on the rebound and it does not seem like he is emotionally available or ready yet for anything more than casual dating.

Why be so negative? If he didn’t have feelings for OP why didn’t he just come right out and say, “no I don’t”?

What’s negative about what I said? He is clearly still emotionally involved with his ex. I didn’t say he is malicious or misleading OP, I don’t know that.

That OP is a rebound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dump him.

Even if he's just trying to spare her feelings, guys like that - who lack boundaries with other women - ain't worth sh!t.

I dated a guy who did the same sort of thing with his ex. Zero boundaries because of her "mental health issues". While nothing happened with her (at least while we were together, they hooked up after I dumped him) he would regularly message women inappropriately and didn't think there was a problem with it because "his intentions were with me" or some BS.

Bottom line, there's so many good men out there, don't waste your time on dudes like this.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you heard is really not a big deal for someone that you are dating casually. i don't think you have learned much about whether you have future with him. If he told his gf, "I don't hate her." He was not denying that he has feelings for you, but also he it isn't a serious relationship (yet). Only you know if that is consistent with what he has shown you.

But you have learned that he is still in touch with his ex, and sufficiently invested that he would get up and leave to take her call. I actually don't think this is that big of a deal early on, unless you all are more serious than I can gather from your post.

Now that you brought it up to him, and he acted weird about it, it might be too much to overcome.

Did you miss the part where OP said he saw the ex out on a date and he got so upset about it to the point where he contacted his ex to talk about it?

OP, the flag is red and on fire. No good reason to continue anything with this guy, especially if you’ve caught feelings. Unless you’re ready to manage lots of emotional drama (he saw his ex on a date and texted her!!!!), move on.