Seeing OPP (other people’s parenting) up close

[Anonymous]

I would probably 'nicely' show them the door to try to maintain your family from getting super sick. Covid or not, no one wants what this kid has. I know they have been around for some time, but you still have a decent shot at spieling everyone else from him. So an Airbnb is in order. Plus no one wants to be in a house like 5+ other sick people, yuck. They have got to go. Air the place out!

[Anonymous]

I think you need to realize that you relationship with your sister is over whether they have covid or not. This isn’t a person you need in your life.

[Anonymous]

OP if a troll is good. Response Troll is terrible and just counters everything.

Is it Covid OP?

[Anonymous]

What could happen next? Beth gets Scarlet Fever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her out of your house. “Sis, I’m really sorry, but this just isn’t working for us. We booked you this hotel, it comes highly recommended and we will all be able to get some rest.”

Op here. Currently very worried as their youngest is sick with a fever. They are taking him to urgent care. Just praying it’s not COVID because then they will have to isolate for 10 days and won’t be able to fly home on Tuesday as planned.

Would it be awful to get them an Airbnb if he’s positive Instead of having them stay here? Or does that make me a jerk? About to have an emergency session with my counselor to talk through all this as I’m kinda freaking out inside. I just hope it’s some virus and not Covid. Or maybe they’d end up driving home? Ugh. This is terrible for them (and for me).

Yes, it does. It does make you a jerk.

Strongly disagree. After almost a week of this nonsense and now a sick kid (with a possibility of COVID?!) ... all bets are off. Obligation to entertain is over. THEY should be the ones offering to move to a hotel or Airbnb. I wouldn’t think of unleashing all of this on anyone, family or otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Op here. They’ve indicated they are going to rent a car and drive home on Tuesday. Yesterday was a very awkward day and I went out of my way to kind of avoid them, so I think they maybe realized something was up but I’m not sure. Still no word on whether it’s COVID, but 2/3 kids have ear infections and are taking antibiotics. I don’t know if that means it’s less likely to be Covid or not.

I’m in a much better place now knowing that we are on the home stretch. I’m so relieved they are leaving of their own accord. My sister is being kind of martyristic about it (like sighing and exasperatedly saying “clearly you can’t handle us being here so I guess we have no choice but to leave”), but however she wants to write the narrative, I didn’t kick them out.

[Anonymous]

OP you need a couple of therapy sessions about why you put yourself and your family through this. Sounds like a case of magical thinking. I’ve done if before with important relationships, so I understand the desire that puts you in such a place. But you can’t have it happen again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you need a couple of therapy sessions about why you put yourself and your family through this. Sounds like a case of magical thinking. I’ve done if before with important relationships, so I understand the desire that puts you in such a place. But you can’t have it happen again.

Op here. Yes, magical thinking is a great word for it and I agree I’ve got some internal work to do here.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you say something OP? I never get this on here. She's your sister. She's doing this nuttiness in your home. I have five siblings and we're straight up with each other, no walking on eggshells. This is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I have magical thinking relatvies too. Like, yes, THIS time will be different and fun. And it never is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you say something OP? I never get this on here. She's your sister. She's doing this nuttiness in your home. I have five siblings and we're straight up with each other, no walking on eggshells. This is ridiculous.

Op here. I could say something to her but see my example above-just pointing out that it would be really hot to go hiking and I wouldn’t be able to do it but she was welcome to take my car and use my membership caused her to stop talking to me for the day. So I could talk to her but it would mean having a lot of sustained tension with someone staying in my house. Similarly she once went 5 years without speaking to me so there’s always that threat.

Anyway, they are gone now. Yay. Their baby tested negative for COVID, RSV, etc. Just a common cold that seemed to hit hard.

I still can’t shake the feeling that if only I had done something different or somehow handled this better or used some other technique then it would have been a great visit.

[Anonymous]

You had a bad attitude and bad energy from the start, no wonder this ended so poorly. You sound stand-offish and a know it all. I feel bad for your sister, what even was the point of this? You were going to complain and nitpick no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you live near Los Angeles? We saw a lot of this when we lived there, maybe over 50% of families were into this nonsense, with the results being everyone was pretty unhappy.

Op here. Lol no but I do think they are very deep into their own interpretation of attachment parenting. The 2 yo is still up 3 times a night to nurse. And I’m not sure I’ve ever seen any of their kids go into timeout before. And yeah even on vacation my sister has to prep all their food. I shopped for her before they came and tried to get all her items but on a few I couldn’t (Costco didn’t have the organic butter, so I got non-organic and she rejected it).

I’m just so tired. We are on day 4. 3.5 days to go.

Oh my god. That is beyond messed up. I try not to judge people who extended breastfeed but to be waking up 3x a night at 2 is not healthy or normal christ

Op here. Yeah I had my sis walk me through a typical night. They also are unwilling to use night pull ups, and their 4 and 6 yo both wet the bed most nights so they are changing bedding in the middle of the night. Also the kids apparently each also wake up at least once a night and need comforting. So between the nursing, pee accidents, comforting, and sippy milk runs for the older kids, it’s basically every 45-90 minutes they are all up every single night.

Also none of her kids nap, so she doesn’t get a break at nap time either.

Can you guys suggest you watch the kids while they nap? I'm a much better parent and person when I'm well rested. Helping out while one naps will maybe show them the benefits of sleep. Is the husband going along with all of this? Does he seem miserable too?

She said that they don't nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you say something OP? I never get this on here. She's your sister. She's doing this nuttiness in your home. I have five siblings and we're straight up with each other, no walking on eggshells. This is ridiculous.

I have a brother like OP’s sister. Our mother has NPD. My brother has cut the family off many times but much like OP I occasionally entertain the fantasy that if I just am “straight up” with him and stop walking on eggshells, we’ll have a normal sibling relationship.

Unfortunately that doesn’t work when people have mental illness and have been raised in complicated environments where they’re basically trained to believe that people should walk on eggshells around them. Sorry, OP. I did what you’re doing every 5 years or so until my husband finally said never again. It hurts when I see normal families enjoy time together but my brother and his family just can’t handle visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her out of your house. “Sis, I’m really sorry, but this just isn’t working for us. We booked you this hotel, it comes highly recommended and we will all be able to get some rest.”

Op here. Currently very worried as their youngest is sick with a fever. They are taking him to urgent care. Just praying it’s not COVID because then they will have to isolate for 10 days and won’t be able to fly home on Tuesday as planned.

Would it be awful to get them an Airbnb if he’s positive Instead of having them stay here? Or does that make me a jerk? About to have an emergency session with my counselor to talk through all this as I’m kinda freaking out inside. I just hope it’s some virus and not Covid. Or maybe they’d end up driving home? Ugh. This is terrible for them (and for me).

Yes, it does. It does make you a jerk.

To not continue to host disruptive people WITH COVID makes her a jerk? HAHAHAHA. No.