Setting hard limits with DH on pot use

[Anonymous]

I don't drink or do any kind of drug. DH is a heavy drinker. Kids notice but if they are teens this is already a part of their emotional landscape. I think I would not make this an issue during corona times. We all need what we need to get through this. I would, however, evaluate at a later point whether this would be something I could continue to accept in a partner. DH and I have had many fights but they have rarely been about drinking. The idea that people with substance dependence can be high-functioning is hard to cope with but everyone responds differently. Does your DH step up in the areas you care about most, aside from the MMC habit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone’s a serious control freak.

Cannabis is an excellent and highly effective treatment for stress, anxiety and depression - things that cause men to drop dead of heart attacks or commit suicide. We’re in the middle of a once in a century pandemic, economic meltdown, and crisis in our democracy and we’re all distressed about the impact it is having on our children. Your husband is legally utilizing a medicinal herb to address his mental health and you aren’t articulating a single behavior that he’s engaging in that is detrimental to you or your children except the very fact that he’s utilizing a legal substance to address his mental health.

You sound like a seriously shitty wife. You and your ‘enraged’ buddy are the ones with a problem, not your husband.

I couldn’t disagree more. Drug addict speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you drink every evening? If so, perhaps you can create a challenge to stop all substances together?

No I do not.

I’d be equally concerned if my DH drank every evening, or snuck out to the garage to drink while the kids were awake.

In fact, I had a DH who drank 3 beers every night (to help him sleep) and snuck drinks during the day (too help him relax and deal with boredom)when he was in charge of the kids.

In fact, he had a drinking problem and a mental illness that was better treated by a psychiatrist, meds and a therapist than daily alcohol.

Like the daily pot smokers, he argued that his drinking wasn’t a problem because he had a high enough tolerance that he wasn’t drunk. He said I was the one with the problem. He wasn’t wrong about me having a problem, but was wrong about what my problem was. My problem wasn’t that I was uptight or controlling; my problem was that I was married and had 2 kids with a guy with a drinking problem and untreated mental illness.

There were multiple ways for me to fix that problem, and the one I chose was divorce and full physical custody.