The realization that I’ve missed out by working my kids entire lives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a teen and a 6 yr old and I’ve worked full time my entire life outside of the home. I’ve enjoyed being with them so much these last couple of weeks, but realized today how much I’ve missed on. I would give anything not to go back to work after all of this.

Bull. You knew what you were missing out on the entire time and chose work over them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM - I love being home but I think the time with them when they are in elementary school on up through high school is far far more important than when they are little ones as that is what they will remember. Kids need you more, not less as they get older even though they start to separate. Maybe you can switch to part-time as a compromise.

Yeah, missing out on first step or first words and all the other first mean nothing. I will never forget my children's first steps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been thinking about all the people who are getting to stay home with their little babies and toddlers, moms and dads who were previously full of conflict and angst about working full time while the kids were in daycare. I'm not saying everybody because I know many parents have little or no conflict or angst about putting their babies and toddlers in full time daycare. I'm talking about the ones who actually want to stay home with their little kids but financially couldn't.

For those parents, although it's obviously very hard to manage life (bills, groceries, rent, etc.) during these difficult times, I'm sad to think of how they will feel when they have to go back to work.

I guess for all you DCUM parents whose children love daycare and thrive there while you are also happy going to your important jobs, I feel bad for you too because this situation must really be driving you nuts.

Oh yay another mommy wars thread. Glad the pandemic hasn't knocked anyone off their high horses.

I know. I seriously believe it is just a few sahms that are bitter and jealous about the fact that they are sort of worthless.

I don’t think SAHMs are worthless by any means, but yes there seem to be a few bitter, unhappy ones on this thread (see the two posts right above mine). I wonder if it’s because their husbands are close to being let go...

[Anonymous]

This is nothing like normal staying at home. In normal times, there's this thing called school that takes up so much time and mental space for kids.

[Anonymous]

I agree, OP. I was thrilled to relearn my children’s names after all these years.

[Anonymous]

After a week and a half with my kids I have come to the exact opposite conclusion LOL.

[Anonymous]

I'm loving it and feeling pretty wistful that I can't spend all the time with them. I also have an infant whose entry into day care has been delayed, and I don't want to send him ever (it really doesn't help that I know someone whose baby recently died of SIDS at day care, not in DC).

I wish I were a teacher with summers off. Except I'm the breadwinner and definitely not a teacher. It makes it easier to feel like I don't have a choice to just not go back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been thinking about all the people who are getting to stay home with their little babies and toddlers, moms and dads who were previously full of conflict and angst about working full time while the kids were in daycare. I'm not saying everybody because I know many parents have little or no conflict or angst about putting their babies and toddlers in full time daycare. I'm talking about the ones who actually want to stay home with their little kids but financially couldn't.

For those parents, although it's obviously very hard to manage life (bills, groceries, rent, etc.) during these difficult times, I'm sad to think of how they will feel when they have to go back to work.

I guess for all you DCUM parents whose children love daycare and thrive there while you are also happy going to your important jobs, I feel bad for you too because this situation must really be driving you nuts.

Oh yay another mommy wars thread. Glad the pandemic hasn't knocked anyone off their high horses.

Why do we do this to each other?!? Isn’t the point of the Feminist Movement to allow us to choose? I am a SAHM but many of my friends are WOHMs. We each recognize how hard each mom works. We don’t feel the need to defend our choices to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids and have been entertaining them nonstop. But my 3.5 year old is SO SAD to not see her daycare friends. It makes me wonder how SAHMs do it without daily friends for their kids. Are none raising extroverts?

The routine day of a SAHM is nothing like a social isolation day you are currently experiencing. Many of us have rotating play groups, meet up with friends at the park or library, take mommy and me classes, do half day preschool. My own (adult) life as a SAHM is much more social than my career/office life was.

+1
Wtf? How can you guys compare the current quarantine situation where everything is closed except for necessities like grocery store and banks, to a life of being a sahm? These are 2 completely different things. I was a sahm for a few years when my twins were preschool age and we had a busy and engaged schedule involving weekly

part time preschool
play dates with their friends
outings to nature centers, library story times, museums, farms, etc
visits to see grandparents who live nearby
classes like gymnastics, swimming, etc

How is that remotely similar to the lifestyle we all have right now with this pandemic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my kids and have been entertaining them nonstop. But my 3.5 year old is SO SAD to not see her daycare friends. It makes me wonder how SAHMs do it without daily friends for their kids. Are none raising extroverts?

The routine day of a SAHM is nothing like a social isolation day you are currently experiencing. Many of us have rotating play groups, meet up with friends at the park or library, take mommy and me classes, do half day preschool. My own (adult) life as a SAHM is much more social than my career/office life was.

+1
Wtf? How can you guys compare the current quarantine situation where everything is closed except for necessities like grocery store and banks, to a life of being a sahm? These are 2 completely different things. I was a sahm for a few years when my twins were preschool age and we had a busy and engaged schedule involving weekly

part time preschool
play dates with their friends
outings to nature centers, library story times, museums, farms, etc
visits to see grandparents who live nearby
classes like gymnastics, swimming, etc

How is that remotely similar to the lifestyle we all have right now with this pandemic?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a teen and a 6 yr old and I’ve worked full time my entire life outside of the home. I’ve enjoyed being with them so much these last couple of weeks, but realized today how much I’ve missed on. I would give anything not to go back to work after all of this.

Bull. You knew what you were missing out on the entire time and chose work over them.

Well, that's a crazy statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a teen and a 6 yr old and I’ve worked full time my entire life outside of the home. I’ve enjoyed being with them so much these last couple of weeks, but realized today how much I’ve missed on. I would give anything not to go back to work after all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM - I love being home but I think the time with them when they are in elementary school on up through high school is far far more important than when they are little ones as that is what they will remember. Kids need you more, not less as they get older even though they start to separate. Maybe you can switch to part-time as a compromise.

Yeah, missing out on first step or first words and all the other first mean nothing. I will never forget my children's first steps.

I was home for my kids' first steps and could not tell you exactly how old they were or where they were when it happened... oops

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM - I love being home but I think the time with them when they are in elementary school on up through high school is far far more important than when they are little ones as that is what they will remember. Kids need you more, not less as they get older even though they start to separate. Maybe you can switch to part-time as a compromise.

Yeah, missing out on first step or first words and all the other first mean nothing. I will never forget my children's first steps.

I was home for my kids' first steps and could not tell you exactly how old they were or where they were when it happened... oops

Lol, I only can because I just have one, and mine decided to walk moments before Game 7 of the Nats world series. "It's a good omen!"

[Anonymous]

I'm making the best of this situation, teleworking and homeschooling, because I have to. Yes, in between the sibling squabbles and displeasure with mom's teaching methods and general family cabin fever, it's nice having everyone I love in one building.

But.

It's because I know it's (fingers crossed) temporary. That this is a reprieve, and that (fingers crossed) there's a job out there waiting for me when this passes. And that my kids will go back to school. And our lives will resume, if somewhat differently, than similar to the lives we lead just a few weeks ago.

If I thought that this would be the new normal, there's no way I would approach this hunkering down with such a rainbows and unicorns outlook.