Considering getting my parents an apartment in the same building as me...am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all elderly people are suffering from Alzheimers. Not all of them need to be in a care-facility over being home with their grown kids.

That's the way you look at it. I, personally, have zero expectation of moving in with my grown kids and expecting them to spend their free time tending to me, driving me around, taking me to appointments and on their family vacation.

At the same time, my own door will always be open to my adult kids and I hope to be able to be an involved grandparent should I ever be blessed with grandchildren.

When the time comes where I no longer want to be responsible for home/yard maintenance and I could use a little assistance with housekeeping and cooking I'll most likely move into an over 55 community where I can take advantage of group outings, activities, on site hair salon, the shuttle bus, etc.

If my health really goes downhill I'll transfer to assisted living or a nursing home - whichever is appropriate for my needs.

[Anonymous]

So much of this depends on how active and independent your parents are. But, regardless, you can anticipate one of both of them having some significant health issues within the next 5 years or so which could make living in the condo undoable for them w/o some form of heavy assistance. What will be the plan when that day comes because it will come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all elderly people are suffering from Alzheimers. Not all of them need to be in a care-facility over being home with their grown kids.

The often physically attack family members and police get involved.

Many places won’t tKe Alzheimer’s patients because they are so volatile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all elderly people are suffering from Alzheimers. Not all of them need to be in a care-facility over being home with their grown kids.

The often physically attack family members and police get involved.

Many places won’t tKe Alzheimer’s patients because they are so volatile.

They are confused and become combative when others try to help them get dressed or cleaned up. They don't generally go around attacking others but because they are confused they will resist their caregivers at times. They still have moments where they can be quite clever and figure things out so it's not always that easy to "elederly" proof a house with door locks and such. They are often very smart people who lived a good, honest life but just have the terrible luck of being afflicted with a disease that destroys their brain. It is really very sad. And it is not their fault. It is usually too much for a single caregiver to handle on their own and it's usually a mistake for a caregiver to try and handle it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At their ages you should be considering a progressive retirement facility where they can have their own place but with care down the road. If they were ten years younger moving into your building would be ideal but at 85 and 92 they will face issues that will be difficult for you to handle.

This! Their issues can change significantly in a short time. I would look at ASL places at this age that can handle their decline in the near future. If you wait..they will not be able to get into a suitable ASL place and your only option will be the nursing home.

Exactly. And when this happens you will need to uproot them yet again to a continuing care community (often includes independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled nursing).

A continuing care community is different from a “over 55 community” which is usually people who are younger, active retirees.