Issue with blended family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone give me the Cliff notes version? Was OP an AP or what

She was, but she doesn't like to actually come out and say it. She thinks there are two sides to the story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone give me the Cliff notes version? Was OP an AP or what

The op didn’t say that. This is the assumption based based on the timeline that she gave from her posts, and she hasn’t denied it. Per op, she worked with the husband. Then ended up marrying him not a year into the divorce. Accuses his kids of saying bad things about her and worried that they will give “their mother’s version” of events to her own younger children. Not happy with how she is being treated by the in-laws, ex-wife, step kids, and neighbors (which raises assumption that she has moved to live into DH / exwife’s House). Has ridiculous expectations of how blending families work, and even a more ridiculous schedule kids / steps kids where they are all 1 week together, and she and DH are alone sans kids to “work on their marriage”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone give me the Cliff notes version? Was OP an AP or what

She was, but she doesn't like to actually come out and say it. She thinks there are two sides to the story.

Yeah, she thinks she’s more than that. Probably thinks they’re soul mates. But then she’s so insecure in the relationship that she wants a child free house for a week every time the kids are there for a week to try to woo him and win him back again. She knows damn well that he’ll stray in a hot minute with no loyalty to her whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone give me the Cliff notes version? Was OP an AP or what

The op didn’t say that. This is the assumption based based on the timeline that she gave from her posts, and she hasn’t denied it. Per op, she worked with the husband. Then ended up marrying him not a year into the divorce. Accuses his kids of saying bad things about her and worried that they will give “their mother’s version” of events to her own younger children. Not happy with how she is being treated by the in-laws, ex-wife, step kids, and neighbors (which raises assumption that she has moved to live into DH / exwife’s House). Has ridiculous expectations of how blending families work, and even a more ridiculous schedule kids / steps kids where they are all 1 week together, and she and DH are alone sans kids to “work on their marriage”.

Eight pages in and she hasn't denied it. And she hasn't explained what the "other side of the story" actually is. Maybe a case of We Were On A Break?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was not a long time family friend. Any play dates our kids had were part of much larger groups, so it isn't like they used to know me as a neighbor who is now their mom. At most, they remember me as someone their dad works with.

I have been to therapy related to my own divorce and I know it's best not to share adult information with kids. The kids have no business knowing about the sex lives of their parents. There are two sides to every story, and I'm honestly just trying to protect my kids from having their step brother from spew whatever version of the truth his mother has planted in his head. This isn't about me.
This is about protecting three young children from being exposed to misleading, inappropriate, and one-sided information that they are way too young to understand and process.

Take your feelings for me out of this scenario and please focus on how I can prevent the dysfunction that the step kids are dealing with from spreading to my kids. Mine are adjusting well and have accepted the divorce.

Wow you are already demonizing his kids?! I hope he reads this and Gets out with his kids unscathed. You are sounding more and more like the evil stepmom.

[Anonymous]

Didn't you post complaints before?

[Anonymous]

You except 10 and 12 year olds to hang out and like activities your 4 years like?! Plus you broke up their parents marriage! I hope they hate you till the day you die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone give me the Cliff notes version? Was OP an AP or what

The op didn’t say that. This is the assumption based based on the timeline that she gave from her posts, and she hasn’t denied it. Per op, she worked with the husband. Then ended up marrying him not a year into the divorce. Accuses his kids of saying bad things about her and worried that they will give “their mother’s version” of events to her own younger children. Not happy with how she is being treated by the in-laws, ex-wife, step kids, and neighbors (which raises assumption that she has moved to live into DH / exwife’s House). Has ridiculous expectations of how blending families work, and even a more ridiculous schedule kids / steps kids where they are all 1 week together, and she and DH are alone sans kids to “work on their marriage”.

Eight pages in and she hasn't denied it. And she hasn't explained what the "other side of the story" actually is. Maybe a case of We Were On A Break?

Yeah. “We were on a break we didn’t tell our respective spouses about while banging each other complaining about distance in marriages to our soulmate until wife found the evidence and filed for divorce.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not a long time family friend. Any play dates our kids had were part of much larger groups, so it isn't like they used to know me as a neighbor who is now their mom. At most, they remember me as someone their dad works with.

I have been to therapy related to my own divorce and I know it's best not to share adult information with kids. The kids have no business knowing about the sex lives of their parents. There are two sides to every story, and I'm honestly just trying to protect my kids from having their step brother from spew whatever version of the truth his mother has planted in his head. This isn't about me.
This is about protecting three young children from being exposed to misleading, inappropriate, and one-sided information that they are way too young to understand and process.

Take your feelings for me out of this scenario and please focus on how I can prevent the dysfunction that the step kids are dealing with from spreading to my kids. Mine are adjusting well and have accepted the divorce.

Wow you are already demonizing his kids?! I hope he reads this and Gets out with his kids unscathed. You are sounding more and more like the evil stepmom.

If you wanted to protect your kids, you would not have had an affair with a co-worker, especially publicly, and then both of you divorce, taking away your kids from their other parent and stay married/co-parent.. You cheated. You divorced your husband to marry your AP, planned your time with your kids so both sets would be together so you only had to parent 1/2 time.. sweet deal for you, not your kids whose lives have been disrupted. I wouldn't want my kid or husband around you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone give me the Cliff notes version? Was OP an AP or what

The op didn’t say that. This is the assumption based based on the timeline that she gave from her posts, and she hasn’t denied it. Per op, she worked with the husband. Then ended up marrying him not a year into the divorce. Accuses his kids of saying bad things about her and worried that they will give “their mother’s version” of events to her own younger children. Not happy with how she is being treated by the in-laws, ex-wife, step kids, and neighbors (which raises assumption that she has moved to live into DH / exwife’s House). Has ridiculous expectations of how blending families work, and even a more ridiculous schedule kids / steps kids where they are all 1 week together, and she and DH are alone sans kids to “work on their marriage”.

Eight pages in and she hasn't denied it. And she hasn't explained what the "other side of the story" actually is. Maybe a case of We Were On A Break?

No doubt the mother's version is the truth. OP is an evil stepmom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was not a long time family friend. Any play dates our kids had were part of much larger groups, so it isn't like they used to know me as a neighbor who is now their mom. At most, they remember me as someone their dad works with.

I have been to therapy related to my own divorce and I know it's best not to share adult information with kids. The kids have no business knowing about the sex lives of their parents. There are two sides to every story, and I'm honestly just trying to protect my kids from having their step brother from spew whatever version of the truth his mother has planted in his head. This isn't about me.
This is about protecting three young children from being exposed to misleading, inappropriate, and one-sided information that they are way too young to understand and process.

Take your feelings for me out of this scenario and please focus on how I can prevent the dysfunction that the step kids are dealing with from spreading to my kids. Mine are adjusting well and have accepted the divorce.

All the more reason you should be open to changing your custody situation so that you have each set of kids on opposite weeks. Less contact with the offending 12 year old.

[Anonymous]

So you want your children to think you are a Saint while his kids can just shut the hell up. Nice one Stepmonster (what two of my friends called their ex-Stepparents) notice the Ex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not a long time family friend. Any play dates our kids had were part of much larger groups, so it isn't like they used to know me as a neighbor who is now their mom. At most, they remember me as someone their dad works with.

I have been to therapy related to my own divorce and I know it's best not to share adult information with kids. The kids have no business knowing about the sex lives of their parents. There are two sides to every story, and I'm honestly just trying to protect my kids from having their step brother from spew whatever version of the truth his mother has planted in his head. This isn't about me.
This is about protecting three young children from being exposed to misleading, inappropriate, and one-sided information that they are way too young to understand and process.

Take your feelings for me out of this scenario and please focus on how I can prevent the dysfunction that the step kids are dealing with from spreading to my kids. Mine are adjusting well and have accepted the divorce.

Wow you are already demonizing his kids?! I hope he reads this and Gets out with his kids unscathed. You are sounding more and more like the evil stepmom.

OP. Do you hear yourself? This (along with a few other issues raised) demonstrates the critical barrier to having this “family”: your selfish attitude.

You have it all wrong. I rarely say this ... but I think you’re doomed if you don’t do a major course correction.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you even hear yourself? You want to blame a hurt, grieving 12 year old for not keeping your dirty secrets and damaging your kids? News flash: YOU damaged your kids, and your credibility as a reliable person of character, when you cheated and ruined people’s lives.

And you need to understand that you are the other woman. No one in your DH’s life will ever like you, so you need to accept that now. To them, you are and will always be a whore and a homewrecker.

[Anonymous]

The dysfunction the step kids are experiencing is your fault. Start there with the course correction, and proceed with more humility. You don’t sound compassionate to their needs at all. And forcing your 4 year old twins and 7 year old down their throat without understanding how difficult this must be for them as teens - losing their family - and having you suddenly slip from family friend/co-worker to Mom? And removing their time? What is your position on the suggestions given here to:
- change schedule so kids aren’t all crammed together
- carve out a date night to preserve what you can of your marriage
- allow each child time to have 1:1 with their bio parent and then have 1:1 time with the step parent

???