44 year old woman, never married, no kids. Am I a red flag??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the longest relationship you’ve ever had? Have you had significant relationships?

[b]

I dated a lot before I gained the weight, I had several 1-3year relationships but nothing for the past 10 years. I had hook ups here and there but no one I would consider dating.

Wait so you were NOT obese since childhood???

It kind of sounds like for some reason you unconsciously put on a great deal of weight during your "prime marriage years" as an excuse (but not the real reason!) for finding and staying with a long term committed relationship w/children of your own.

Once the "prime fertility years" passed by, then suddenly--you were able to drop the weight.

Something's going on here that you're not being candid about.

I think you actually know or at least suspect the answer too.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a big red flag - and of course the red flag is correct in your situation. You had weight problems.

No one is the perfect package - we just need to take an inventory of our strengths and move forward with confidence. If you don't focus on never getting married and having kids, other people will overlook it too.

GOOD LUCK!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the longest relationship you’ve ever had? Have you had significant relationships?

I dated a lot before I gained the weight, I had several 1-3year relationships but nothing for the past 10 years. I had hook ups here and there but no one I would consider dating.

Wait so you were NOT obese since childhood???

It kind of sounds like for some reason you unconsciously put on a great deal of weight during your "prime marriage years" as an excuse (but not the real reason!) for finding and staying with a long term committed relationship w/children of your own.

Once the "prime fertility years" passed by, then suddenly--you were able to drop the weight.

[b]Something's going on here that you're not being candid about.

I think you actually know or at least suspect the answer too.

Yeah something about the story isn't adding up. Was the weight loss during or after a break up? It's weird that there was so many years without a partner - even if fat. Fat people date - all the time - do folks not go outside anymore? Being overweight doesn't deny you relationships in of itself. More problems than just the weight. Red flag.

[Anonymous]

The boring answer is that it will be a red flag to some people and not to others. When I first lost a bunch of weight in college, the fact that I was a 21 year old with absolutely no experience was definitely a red flag when I started dating a little.

When I lost weight again as an adult, I had all the same red flags and met my wife. The biggest difference was that I had come to terms with my red flags by then and could be honest about them without being apologetic.