Husbands: do you secretly compare your wife to other wives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No idea. But my DH volunteers at the school about 2xs a year all day and always come home and says how grateful he is that I keep in shape and put effort into my appearance. He's always taken aback by the moms he sees at the school and how dumpy they are.

Sounds like you're perfect for each other.

No kidding. I'd be incredibly disappointed if my husband came home and said such mean spirited things in the guise of propping me up.

But what if it's true? Would you rather hear "wow loved checking out the hot moms all day"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband tells me all the time how proud he is of me relative to other wives especially when I score big professional wins.

If you were fat or denying him sex he wouldn't give a damn about your "professional wins".

I call BS. No matter how in shape I get or how much we have sex, my DH constantly complains I’m not as professionally advanced as him. No sh*t I’m not, he’s almost 10 years older than me.

That sounds really weird. What straight man cares about "professional advancement" in his woman? We care that you're not stupid and can hold a job, but that's about it on that front.

A real man cares about his wife and when she achieves something significant, whether within her professional life or outside it, he is proud of her.

He chose her in the first place - and keeps her - because of her looks. Any of her "significant achievements" are no more than icing on the looks cake. That's just reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No idea. But my DH volunteers at the school about 2xs a year all day and always come home and says how grateful he is that I keep in shape and put effort into my appearance. He's always taken aback by the moms he sees at the school and how dumpy they are.

Sounds like you're perfect for each other.

No kidding. I'd be incredibly disappointed if my husband came home and said such mean spirited things in the guise of propping me up.

But what if it's true? Would you rather hear "wow loved checking out the hot moms all day"?

No. Neither would be acceptable. But my husband compliments me all the time without having to tear down other women to do so. That would feel cheap and meaningless.

[Anonymous]

No. My wife is super cute like girl next door. She keeps her petite body in shape. She has a prestigious job as a CRNA and makes close to $200,000/year. She is a nympho and have some form of sex almost everyday. She is very neat and keeps a clean home. She is loving, kind hearted, and just an incredible person. Bonus is that my mom loves her.

[Anonymous]

My mother made great potato soup. I wasn't tearing my mother down when I told my wife that her's was better.

[Anonymous]

I think it's natural to compare and I'm sure women secretly compare husbands. I've never met another woman who compares to the "total package'' I've been married to for over 30 years. The fact that she's been willing to put up with me for all of those years is a big plus!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. My wife is super cute like girl next door. She keeps her petite body in shape. She has a prestigious job as a CRNA and makes close to $200,000/year. She is a nympho and have some form of sex almost everyday. She is very neat and keeps a clean home. She is loving, kind hearted, and just an incredible person. Bonus is that my mom loves her.

I don't doubt it. Nurses are sluts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband tells me all the time how proud he is of me relative to other wives especially when I score big professional wins.

If you were fat or denying him sex he wouldn't give a damn about your "professional wins".

I call BS. No matter how in shape I get or how much we have sex, my DH constantly complains I’m not as professionally advanced as him. No sh*t I’m not, he’s almost 10 years older than me.

That sounds really weird. What straight man cares about "professional advancement" in his woman? We care that you're not stupid and can hold a job, but that's about it on that front.

Are you a dad? Do you have daughters? Do you tell them that no one cares if they achieve anything professionally, that all that's important is how big their butts get? if you really feel that's true, are you saving money to send them to college? Seems like you might regard that as a waste of money -- perhaps in your mind it would be better to sign them up for one of those pole dancing fitness classes instead.Are you going to have them all get plastic surgery and implants in their teens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. My wife is super cute like girl next door. She keeps her petite body in shape. She has a prestigious job as a CRNA and makes close to $200,000/year. She is a nympho and have some form of sex almost everyday. She is very neat and keeps a clean home. She is loving, kind hearted, and just an incredible person. Bonus is that my mom loves her.

I don't doubt it. Nurses are sluts.

What a broad generalization. My wife isn’t a slut. You can like sexy and not be a slut. I’m on her fifth guy. I’ve had dozens of women so I’m the slut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No idea. But my DH volunteers at the school about 2xs a year all day and always come home and says how grateful he is that I keep in shape and put effort into my appearance. He's always taken aback by the moms he sees at the school and how dumpy they are.

Sounds like you're perfect for each other.

No kidding. I'd be incredibly disappointed if my husband came home and said such mean spirited things in the guise of propping me up.

But what if it's true? Would you rather hear "wow loved checking out the hot moms all day"?

No. Neither would be acceptable. But my husband compliments me all the time without having to tear down other women to do so. That would feel cheap and meaningless.

This. I can't imagine my husband coming home from volunteering at school and ranting about how Larla's mother had a saggy ass and Larlo's mother had her roots showing. That 'grateful' dude is a loser.

[Anonymous]

Are you a dad? Do you have daughters? Do you tell them that no one cares if they achieve anything professionally, that all that's important is how big their butts get? if you really feel that's true, are you saving money to send them to college? Seems like you might regard that as a waste of money -- perhaps in your mind it would be better to sign them up for one of those pole dancing fitness classes instead.Are you going to have them all get plastic surgery and implants in their teens?

A couple years ago a survey of husbands and fathers of daughters came out. To me the summary was quite reasonable, but multiple women writing about the survey raised holy hell. Basically, men value independence in our daughters and other things like appearance in our wives. Intelligence in both by the way, but the two lists of desirable traits are different.

We go through life with our wives and send our daughters out into the cold cruel world. Don't pretend we look at the two the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No idea. But my DH volunteers at the school about 2xs a year all day and always come home and says how grateful he is that I keep in shape and put effort into my appearance. He's always taken aback by the moms he sees at the school and how dumpy they are.

...maybe they have more important things on their minds than dressing up to impress a bunch of preschoolers (/ your husband, I guess)?

It's not about how they dress. It's about KEEPING IN SHAPE An in-shape mom looks good at any age in any clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband tells me all the time how proud he is of me relative to other wives especially when I score big professional wins.

If you were fat or denying him sex he wouldn't give a damn about your "professional wins".

I call BS. No matter how in shape I get or how much we have sex, my DH constantly complains I’m not as professionally advanced as him. No sh*t I’m not, he’s almost 10 years older than me.

That sounds really weird. What straight man cares about "professional advancement" in his woman? We care that you're not stupid and can hold a job, but that's about it on that front.

A real man cares about his wife and when she achieves something significant, whether within her professional life or outside it, he is proud of her.

He chose her in the first place - and keeps her - because of her looks. Any of her "significant achievements" are no more than icing on the looks cake. That's just reality.

It's reality if a man treats a woman like a vehicle...gets some miles and a few dings and he trades for a new one. But, the reality is that a man of substance sees the beauty grow over time with so much more than some added weight, wrinkles etc.

FWIW...my wife is beautiful in my eyes but when I first met her she was attractive but not as 'pretty' as others that were 'available' to me. But, when I went after her it was because the whole of her drew me in as no other did. Personality, interests, and more, were extremely important.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not. I may look but I don't compare. It's hard for me to imagine anyone better especially in bed. She looks like the wholesome girl next door but she's the opposite in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband tells me all the time how proud he is of me relative to other wives especially when I score big professional wins.

If you were fat or denying him sex he wouldn't give a damn about your "professional wins".

I call BS. No matter how in shape I get or how much we have sex, my DH constantly complains I’m not as professionally advanced as him. No sh*t I’m not, he’s almost 10 years older than me.

That sounds really weird. What straight man cares about "professional advancement" in his woman? We care that you're not stupid and can hold a job, but that's about it on that front.

A real man cares about his wife and when she achieves something significant, whether within her professional life or outside it, he is proud of her.

He chose her in the first place - and keeps her - because of her looks. Any of her "significant achievements" are no more than icing on the looks cake. That's just reality.

It's reality if a man treats a woman like a vehicle...gets some miles and a few dings and he trades for a new one. But, the reality is that a man of substance sees the beauty grow over time with so much more than some added weight, wrinkles etc.

The beauty does not grow over time. It inexorably declines. But so long as this decline is not unacceptably steep, you won't trade her in.

Admit it. If your wife gained 200 pounds, and let her hair and skin go to hell, you'd eventually dump her.