My mom really wants to take care of my baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I'm not worried. The woman I found is a SAHM with a 15-month-old and 1 school age kid.

She doesn't need a full-time job, and she's around to fill in if my mom has to cancel.

I initially didn't want a nanny that needed to bring her kid, because I wanted 1:1 for my daughter, but she'll still get 1:1 the weeks she's with my mother, and she'll get some socialization the weeks she's not, so it's kind of the best of everything.

I appreciate everyone's advice, but sometimes things work out even when they are against the "norm".

Still, naive.What about longer illnesses for either you mom or babysitter (this is not a nanny). Is she going to tote around your kid to go get her school aged child? And I seriously doubt that when the babysitter thinks she has the week off, she is going to drop everything when your mom cannot come, or your mom gets sick of travel.

OP it's rare that an entire DCUM has the same opinion. When that happens, heed the advice.

OP here. She has a flexible schedule. She's at home. She was the one to say she wouldn't mind covering if my mom had to cancel. My husband should be home by the time her kid gets out of school, and if he's not they are in walking distance to the bus stop.

If the nanny gets sick either me or my husband would take time off the same way we would if we had a full time nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is PP. And you went from being concerned about this yesterday, to finding the perfect solution to a unique problem 2 hours ago? hmm

OP here.

I asked here because people kept telling me it wouldn't work so I wanted in put.

I had met with the lady before and I liked her but I thought 1:1 would be better it's one reason we're not doing daycare right now.

It's not all that unique, lots of other moms posted about their mothers or MILs caring for their kids part time.

Just because it's not the solution you think is right doesn't mean it's wrong or that I'm a troll.

I'm doing what I think is right for my family and that's all that matters. I don't need to please DCUM or you.

The difference is that these grandmothers are almost always LOCAL.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you please come back and post an update when this spectacular shit show blows up--maybe we could take bets on how long it will last? I'll put $100 on less than a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you please come back and post an update when this spectacular shit show blows up--maybe we could take bets on how long it will last? I'll put $100 on less than a month.

Agree.

At least make sure your mom's uses an airline credit card when she books her flights (how much is that round trip, by the way???) to at least accumulate points/miles.

I can also see the SAHM w/ a 15 mo + school aged kid for back-up care isn't going to work out either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I'm not worried. The woman I found is a SAHM with a 15-month-old and 1 school age kid.

She doesn't need a full-time job, and she's around to fill in if my mom has to cancel.

I initially didn't want a nanny that needed to bring her kid, because I wanted 1:1 for my daughter, but she'll still get 1:1 the weeks she's with my mother, and she'll get some socialization the weeks she's not, so it's kind of the best of everything.

I appreciate everyone's advice, but sometimes things work out even when they are against the "norm".

Exactly. She "doesn't need the money." So when an opportunity to go out of town or go on her older child's field trip or whatever comes up, she's not going to feel 100% committed to sticking to her agreement to watch your child. ESPECIALLY if it's a week that your mom is supposed to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Exactly. She "doesn't need the money." So when an opportunity to go out of town or go on her older child's field trip or whatever comes up, she's not going to feel 100% committed to sticking to her agreement to watch your child. ESPECIALLY if it's a week that your mom is supposed to be there.

I think this horse has been beaten to death. Because of the PT nanny's flexible situation, I'm guessing that if grandma decides to flake, OP can start looking for a regular FT nanny without having to worry too much about the repercussions for this particular person. In the meantime, she'll have established a relationship with someone who seems willing to do PT and even emergency care should she need it.

Also, her DH comes home before kids get home from school, and OP is not too worried about taking time off for sick nanny. To me that suggests that their jobs are pretty flexible.

OP, I'm glad you found a solution that works for you. Just remember that you always have the option to change any childcare solution that you don't find to be working for you and/or your family. I do hope you update this post in a few months to let us know how it works out.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like you found a solution. Sounds like a great setup all around. My husband commuted by plane to an exec MBA for a year every other weekend and he got really tired of airplanes and airports, but otherwise, it was fine. I would think your mom may in time decide to come once instead of twice a month to avoid the hassle.

[Anonymous]

It's great for you that this seems to be working out, but I can't help gasping at the enormous financial and environmental cost of having your mom fly to/from over and over. Couldn't that money be put toward something that would help society or something? I don't mean to be a downer, and I'm sure your mom's relationship with her grandbaby is important, but wow. Just step back and look at this for a minute. And is your mom insecure to the point that she feels she needs to do this? Wouldn't it be better to work out some other arrangement where she visits frequently?

FWIW, my MIL is local and mom lives on the West Coast. We see MIL about 2 times a week and my mom about 4 times a year, max. My kids love BOTH of their grandmas a TON and in different ways. They get so excited about seeing my mom because it's so different, and they do a lot together when they visit because it's such a special, intense time. There are shorter, less intense visits with my MIL. It works out fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I'm not worried. The woman I found is a SAHM with a 15-month-old and 1 school age kid.

She doesn't need a full-time job, and she's around to fill in if my mom has to cancel.

I initially didn't want a nanny that needed to bring her kid, because I wanted 1:1 for my daughter, but she'll still get 1:1 the weeks she's with my mother, and she'll get some socialization the weeks she's not, so it's kind of the best of everything.

I appreciate everyone's advice, but sometimes things work out even when they are against the "norm".

Still, naive.What about longer illnesses for either you mom or babysitter (this is not a nanny). Is she going to tote around your kid to go get her school aged child? And I seriously doubt that when the babysitter thinks she has the week off, she is going to drop everything when your mom cannot come, or your mom gets sick of travel.

OP it's rare that an entire DCUM has the same opinion. When that happens, heed the advice.

OP, your mother is not likely to be able to keep up the flying schedule over the winter. Things happen.

Your husband isn't likely to enjoy 2 weeks every month with his MIL. You marriage may suffer more than it usually does after a birth.

Your sitter (not a nanny!) will have sick days, either for herself or her kids. You won't want your infant around that illness. And she's not likely to want her infant around your sick child.

Your child's naps are going to have to be scheduled around her elementary-aged child. While doable, it's not in your child's best interests, and it will only work long-term if your mother sticks to the same schedule.

Honestly, I agree that you are being very naive. It may work for a while, and for your child's sake, I hope it does. But I highly doubt it will last a year, possibly not even until Christmas.

[Anonymous]

OP.

can I please ask that you talk to your mother about current safety guidelines.

Things have changed A LOT since she raised a child.

Have her take a cpr class to start.

Inform her about sleeping on the back and nothing in the crib (that means a blanket too.) If she drives, have her take a car seat safety class.

And talk to her about a baby's schedule. Napping, independent play, tummy time.

When the baby start a solids talk about the current recommendations on the age and foods.

I hope it works out for you all.

[Anonymous]

OP, NP here. I think your solution sounds great- and flexible enough that if you do need to change things around, you could make it work.

[Anonymous]

Update Op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP.

can I please ask that you talk to your mother about current safety guidelines.

Things have changed A LOT since she raised a child.

Have her take a cpr class to start.

Inform her about sleeping on the back and nothing in the crib (that means a blanket too.) If she drives, have her take a car seat safety class.

And talk to her about a baby's schedule. Napping, independent play, tummy time.

When the baby start a solids talk about the current recommendations on the age and foods.

I hope it works out for you all.

Better yet, take that CPR/First Aid class together. This is important.

[Anonymous]

I was a nanny a few years ago who did this but it was part time. It actually worked out well because I was in grad wanted to visit my boyfriend out of state every other weekend. You may find someone. You never know. I would consider doing this when my son goes to school. I am a sahm now and I'd love find a part time childcare position like this when my son starts school. I love babies but I don't want to have another child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a nanny a few years ago who did this but it was part time. It actually worked out well because I was in grad wanted to visit my boyfriend out of state every other weekend. You may find someone. You never know. I would consider doing this when my son goes to school. I am a sahm now and I'd love find a part time childcare position like this when my son starts school. I love babies but I don't want to have another child.

Meant to write I was in grad school with an out of state boyfriend. I'm glad it worked out OP. Good luck!