What's the worst thing you ever did to an ex, or vice versa?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I put a photo of my ex on Craigslist and made a post about wanting to try my first time with a man. Listed his phone number and said to call. I was 25 and psycho. Any man who wronged me had to pay dearly.

25 and psycho? My kind of girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Seriously. It is extraordinarily sad that you would choose to live like this over getting a job and actually accomplishing something. Where's your pride?

Between you and the person who said I may as well kill myself, my mind is boggled at your ability to judge.

I never cheated on my husband. I never hurt his feelings or wished him harm. He was the one to cheat on me. Would you have preferred that I throw things and call names and go scorched earth? Would that have made you more proud of me? You don't know me.

Why should I split my family up because he has decided not to honor our marriage vows? Why should I "get a job" if I don't want to get a job? Why is having a job the only way to live a productive life? I have friends. I have my kids. I have my family. I even help take care of his family (because he would rather be going on vacations with his girlfriend than bother seeing them). My MIL is not well.

That you took from my post that I'm some worthless person sitting on the couch every day counting my dollars and cackling and steeping in my hatred is simply false.

My revenge is living well - the way I choose to live my life, supported by his income. It's the least I am owed for all the years I have spent with him, supporting his goals. My goal was always to raise my children to be good people (which they are, despite their father) and to look forward to grandchildren and being there for them, which my husband won't be. He barely even interacts with the kids he has, much less grandchildren.

I'm simply continuing with my own original goals and not letting his choices get in the way of mine.

I never did anything wrong and yet somehow you imply I am completely worthless in life because I'm not doing what you think I should do. Take a walk and live your own life. This is mine and you don't get to choose for me.

This is so sad. I pity you.

I don't see it as sad at all. She stays in her home. Her kids stay in the home. The kids' lives aren't turned upside down by divorce. She gets to continue taking care of her home and her children. If she and her DH were fighting in front of the kids or if there was abuse, it would be different. I think she is making the best decision for her family. I would do exactly the same.

+1

NP. Similar situation. My life is good. I didn't marry for monogamy.

[Anonymous]

Sorry folks but seeking revenge is childish and idiotic. The best revenge is to end up in a better place. With social media your ex will find out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My revenge is living well - the way I choose to live my life, supported by his income. It's the least I am owed for all the years I have spent with him, supporting his goals. My goal was always to raise my children to be good people (which they are, despite their father) and to look forward to grandchildren and being there for them, which my husband won't be. He barely even interacts with the kids he has, much less grandchildren.

I'm simply continuing with my own original goals and not letting his choices get in the way of mine.

You have hardened yourself, understandably. But in doing so you are blocking the painful but necessary changes life could bring you that make us all grow and see the world and ourselves differently. You are teaching your kids not resilience, but instead to let pride and fear of change trump being true to yourself. Who know what you are capable of once you are free from the husband who devalues you? I bet it's a lot more than waiting around for your theoretical grandchildren to arrive. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

We were really close for a long time, but then I tired of him and removed him from the head of my transition team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to buy a billboard exposing their affair to her husband. Near her office building. But it never happened.

Glad you didn't. That would've hurt and humiliated her, for I'm sure no reason

No reason? The woman was married and had an affair with a married man. You do that shit, you deserve what you get.

[Anonymous]

He cheated on me.

I peed on his car.

[Anonymous]

Broke up with someone in an after-sex conversation. Didn't intend to but somehow the situation got out of hand. She called me the next day really angry and then wrote my a long letter. She was a nice person but very clingy so maybe I dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to buy a billboard exposing their affair to her husband. Near her office building. But it never happened.

Glad you didn't. That would've hurt and humiliated her, for I'm sure no reason

No reason - lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He cheated on me.

I peed on his car.

You should have peed IN his car!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don't see it as sad at all. She stays in her home. Her kids stay in the home. The kids' lives aren't turned upside down by divorce. She gets to continue taking care of her home and her children. If she and her DH were fighting in front of the kids or if there was abuse, it would be different. I think she is making the best decision for her family. I would do exactly the same.


I agree. Look at the alternative: splitting the retirement money, possibly moving with the kids to a smaller place since his income has to provide for two homes, having to get an at least initially low paying job and giving up her ability to be a sahm, living on less money while he's free to marry the ow who will then become part of her kids' lives, not to mention the hardship of all of this on the kids.


Yes, her kids stay in a toxic home where dad has affairs and treats mom like crap, and she looks the other way.

Sounds dreamy.

I'm the OP in this thread who posted this morning. I reread my post and particularly my first reply. Yes I did come off quite sharply, sorry. Not enough coffee yet.

It's obviously true I am not 100% happy and there is anger underneath and sometimes on top. But there is no toxic household, except that their dad stopped coming home every night many years ago ("working") and after he admitted the affair, he stopped even the pretense of coming home at all. No demand for divorce, no custody arrangements, he just went on his own way and kept paying for everything in absentia. And I didn't do anything except continue to do what I do.

He's a very astute lawyer and if I tried to fight back in a divorce he would do everything in his power to fight me back - that would be ugly. I don't doubt that for a minute.

I grew up seeing my mom and my mom's friends have their lives upended by their acrimonious divorces, their lives did not improve, they were not any more happy with their "dignity" purchased at a dear price of both cash and chaos and conflicted kids. My life as a child with warring divorced parents was not made better. Nor were their lives imho.

My husband is content (and probably relieved) to look at me as a friend, and yes, I put on a happy face for him ALL THE TIME. The kids are now teens and know about their dad (I mean, he doesn't come home! Of course they know). But I teach them some adverse situations are overcome in different ways. Sometimes it's okay to turn the other cheek when someone does you wrong. Or, don't bite off your nose to spite your face. I could tell my husband at any time how I really feel in a lot of very colorful nasty words, or file and face a bitter divorce battle, but who does that really benefit? No one. Not even me.

So if the best revenge is "living well" - then that's what I feel I am doing, living as "well" as I can under the circumstances I have been presented with, outside of my control.

I was egregiously lied to and deceived. My revenge is that he doesn't realize how I feel about him (or don't feel about him) as I go on my way. If I died tomorrow, he would probably eulogize me as a saint. Or probably not - he'd delegate that to someone else, probably my sister. If he dies tomorrow, there's a lot of life insurance and I am on that paperwork.

PS for the person who asked if I am interested in another relationship in my lifetime, the answer is no, I had stepparents growing up and I would not want the same for my own kids. I'd like to just concentrate on them for the rest of my life. Also, based on my marriage, the honest truth is that I've had years to get used to being on my own.

What's the revenge here? I don't see how this is responsive to the OP. Also, you sound like you get comfort from viewing yourself as a martyr. As an outsider I do think it's sad that you don't seem to think you are worth happiness. I understand the stability aspect of it and keeping the family together but at what expense? What do you deserve? What are you worth? I am not trying to be mean, I'm just taken by the fact that giving up on finding yourself some happiness is enough for you. So he gets the happy home and the the girlfriends and you get a house, not to work and the kids in one place. Don't you want more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was with a girl in Grad School. She dumped me because I did not have enough money. She was an undergrad and was living off of mommy and daddy; I was on a stipend, on my own, living on 11K/yr. I did not have a car, had a dumpy apartment with room mates, and lived paycheck to paycheck.

That was in 1990. She popped up in "people you might know."

My revenge was friending her on Facebook, so she could see what she gave up. First, I look just like I did 26 years ago, including the hair; I have a prestigious job that pays good money where I only work a regular work week. I am happily married. She? Well, she is single with a kid, working as a clerk in a hospital. She drives a 14 year old car, and is morbidly obese. I won.

Hate to break it to you, but someone who holds onto a break-up by a 20 year old college girl from 26 years ago hasn't "won."

not to mention wearing their hair the same as 26 years ago.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He cheated on me.

I peed on his car.

I'm assuming you're a man. I'm trying to imagine how a woman could do that without climbing on top of the car or drizzling pee down the side of their leg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was with a girl in Grad School. She dumped me because I did not have enough money. She was an undergrad and was living off of mommy and daddy; I was on a stipend, on my own, living on 11K/yr. I did not have a car, had a dumpy apartment with room mates, and lived paycheck to paycheck.

That was in 1990. She popped up in "people you might know."

My revenge was friending her on Facebook, so she could see what she gave up. First, I look just like I did 26 years ago, including the hair; I have a prestigious job that pays good money where I only work a regular work week. I am happily married. She? Well, she is single with a kid, working as a clerk in a hospital. She drives a 14 year old car, and is morbidly obese. I won.

Hate to break it to you, but someone who holds onto a break-up by a 20 year old college girl from 26 years ago hasn't "won."

So damn true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my best friends walked in on her BF with a prostitute and found STD pills in his nightstand when she flew out early to surprise him for Valentine's Day. For revenge, she burned his Valentine's Day presents in a bonfire (the ones she had bought him but not given to him). One item was a pair of rare Nike's by Kanye West that he had also autographed. I think they're pretty much priceless shoes and after she livestreamed the bonfire, no sneaker company would hire him. (He was trying to get a job with one) He's still in a dead end job and single while her business boomed after she did this and she's definitely moved on.

I'm too shy and meek to do something like she did but I can't say I didn't enjoy watching her plan and execute her revenge. For her, revenge was ultimately very sweet.

Am I the only one who is not impressed with this story? She stooped to his level and made herself look bad. While what her ex did is beyond atrocious, what she did is juvenile and could be considered atrocious as well, if it is really true that she negatively impacted his future job prospects.

Yes.