Anyone find it hard not to be judgy of low status family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They probably politely listen to your sage advise and then laugh at you when you leave.

And OP should laugh in their face when they ask to borrow money. And they will ask.

[Anonymous]

Um, okay. Sounds like you're pretty invested (ha ha) in that happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, okay. Sounds like you're pretty invested (ha ha) in that happening.

I suspect these angry OP supporters are actually OP, who has already proven herself angry. I can't imagine she actually has random strangers angry on her condescending behalf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, okay. Sounds like you're pretty invested (ha ha) in that happening.

I suspect these angry OP supporters are actually OP, who has already proven herself angry. I can't imagine she actually has random strangers angry on her condescending behalf.

Nonsense. At least one college sophomore who just heard about Ayn Rand for the first time is launching a spirited defense!

[Anonymous]

I am indignant, indignant I say, on behalf of the OP who is so clearly putting on a superior display. I do say, good sir, that her Christmas lights would turn the entire parkway from night into day.

Night into day, sir! And her car exhaust is the perfume of production that shall anoint the masses as she whizzes past with such superior jauntiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's unfortunate that, though you "got out" and "made something of yourself," that still didn't stop you from becoming a horrifying (to use your words) person. Just goes to show, money and success don't stop you from being an asshole. I think they are better off without you imparting anything on them - they might end up like you, which is a truly horrifying prospect.

Agreed. I know this is a DC area board but I found it during a search and enjoy its anonymity. I am not from DC. I am from a very small town that's less than a square mile with no stoplights. The surrounding area where I live is a coal region and there aren't a lot of wealthy people. However, most of the people are very nice. We have built wonderful, cozy lives that make us happy even if most of us don't make six figures. I know that appalls a lot of DC area people who are very fixated on money as a barometer of success. But it's really not. Our friendships, relationships, and cozy and small, but still paid-in-full in many cases, homes are our success. I work in public service and my fiancé is a policeman. I wouldn't change my life one bit. I certainly wouldn't trade it for yours. You don't get what is really important in life.

I feel sorry for you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am indignant, indignant I say, on behalf of the OP who is so clearly putting on a superior display. I do say, good sir, that her Christmas lights would turn the entire parkway from night into day.

Night into day, sir! And her car exhaust is the perfume of production that shall anoint the masses as she whizzes past with such superior jauntiness.

[Anonymous]

I'm most judgemental about people who live beyond their means. That is, not people who live in small houses in low cost of living locations (like the poster above) or high income high expense families (like a lot of DC people.) but if you live large and can't afford it....yep, I think you make bad choices. Know your financial limits and live within them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, okay. Sounds like you're pretty invested (ha ha) in that happening.

I suspect these angry OP supporters are actually OP, who has already proven herself angry. I can't imagine she actually has random strangers angry on her condescending behalf.

Nonsense. At least one college sophomore who just heard about Ayn Rand for the first time is launching a spirited defense!

[Anonymous]

After having had a hard decade, when a whole bunch of unwarranted stuff happened to us, I sometimes wonder whether all of these people making "great" decisions and/or congratulating themselves on their life choices, haven't actually hit significant bumps in the road yet.

It happens to everyone eventually. It happened to us earlier than some of our friends and then when it was their turn, we were able to treat them with compassion, rather than the judgement, which comes from not knowing what hard times look like. Just a thought, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, okay. Sounds like you're pretty invested (ha ha) in that happening.

I suspect these angry OP supporters are actually OP, who has already proven herself angry. I can't imagine she actually has random strangers angry on her condescending behalf.

Nonsense. At least one college sophomore who just heard about Ayn Rand for the first time is launching a spirited defense!

ha! Thank you for the morning laugh. spot on!

[Anonymous]

There's a lot of life between high-powered McLean, Va and being a working class rube in flyover country. Maybe they do like their region, which is fine, and they could stay and become a teacher, accountant, politician, lawyer, doctor. But there aren't any unskilled jobs for uneducated Gen Ys.

Nobody wants to be trapped in a suffering region, struggling to pay for basic necessities, and seeing their kids turn into losers. Don't romanticize that way of life. It f-cking sucks which is why substance abuse and spousal violence are so prevalent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of life between high-powered McLean, Va and being a working class rube in flyover country. Maybe they do like their region, which is fine, and they could stay and become a teacher, accountant, politician, lawyer, doctor. But there aren't any unskilled jobs for uneducated Gen Ys.

Nobody wants to be trapped in a suffering region, struggling to pay for basic necessities, and seeing their kids turn into losers. Don't romanticize that way of life. It f-cking sucks which is why substance abuse and spousal violence are so prevalent.

+1. I don't read the OP as looking down upon her nieces/nephews headed toward a path of working class people in flyover country. I read OP as criticizing her family members for not taking her advice on how to at least put their kids on a path toward becoming a police officer, accountant, teacher, auto mechanic in their flyover town.

OP is criticizing and judging her family for not even doing the basics for their children (looking into their grades, following up with "do you have homework tonight" - you know, the basics!). Good for her for not wanting them to be uneducated, unskilled people in a town with no industry and no future. She is not criticizing them because they are "only" putting their kids on a path towards a respectable, middle class career. From the sounds of it, those parents aren't even doing that! They just expect a respectable, middle class career to magically happen to their kids without understanding what it takes to get it to happen. She tells them and they continue not to listen and go down a bad path.

Everyone who is saying she is awful - imagine you had family who lived in a dying town with absolutely no jobs/no future for the young people. The parents (let's say they are your siblings) say to you they want their children (your nieces and nephews) to have good jobs and a nice middle-class lifestyle (which is a step up from their current lifestyle. Let's imagine they live in a run-down trailer park). You - having escaped that town and are now a teacher in Frederick MD - give advice. Simple things like make sure they do their homework, talk to their teachers, make sure they get good grades, take the SATs so they can go to a community college or a state college. Or if they aren't headed toward college make sure they go to a trade school. The parents do none of that. They never ask their kid if they have homework, they never tell their kid to start thinking about trade school, community college or college. Without parental guidance, their kid will just end up working in the dying town's lone gas station if they are lucky. And the parents continue to say "boy, I want Johnnie to have the type of life you have". You would be okay with that? You would really think "but gee, they are so happy working at the gas station and living in a run-down trailer!" Come on, after awhile you would get tired of their complaints and start judging them too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of life between high-powered McLean, Va and being a working class rube in flyover country. Maybe they do like their region, which is fine, and they could stay and become a teacher, accountant, politician, lawyer, doctor. But there aren't any unskilled jobs for uneducated Gen Ys.

Nobody wants to be trapped in a suffering region, struggling to pay for basic necessities, and seeing their kids turn into losers. Don't romanticize that way of life. It f-cking sucks which is why substance abuse and spousal violence are so prevalent.

+1. I don't read the OP as looking down upon her nieces/nephews headed toward a path of working class people in flyover country. I read OP as criticizing her family members for not taking her advice on how to at least put their kids on a path toward becoming a police officer, accountant, teacher, auto mechanic in their flyover town.

OP is criticizing and judging her family for not even doing the basics for their children (looking into their grades, following up with "do you have homework tonight" - you know, the basics!). Good for her for not wanting them to be uneducated, unskilled people in a town with no industry and no future. She is not criticizing them because they are "only" putting their kids on a path towards a respectable, middle class career. From the sounds of it, those parents aren't even doing that! They just expect a respectable, middle class career to magically happen to their kids without understanding what it takes to get it to happen. She tells them and they continue not to listen and go down a bad path.

Everyone who is saying she is awful - imagine you had family who lived in a dying town with absolutely no jobs/no future for the young people. The parents (let's say they are your siblings) say to you they want their children (your nieces and nephews) to have good jobs and a nice middle-class lifestyle (which is a step up from their current lifestyle. Let's imagine they live in a run-down trailer park). You - having escaped that town and are now a teacher in Frederick MD - give advice. Simple things like make sure they do their homework, talk to their teachers, make sure they get good grades, take the SATs so they can go to a community college or a state college. Or if they aren't headed toward college make sure they go to a trade school. The parents do none of that. They never ask their kid if they have homework, they never tell their kid to start thinking about trade school, community college or college. Without parental guidance, their kid will just end up working in the dying town's lone gas station if they are lucky. And the parents continue to say "boy, I want Johnnie to have the type of life you have". You would be okay with that? You would really think "but gee, they are so happy working at the gas station and living in a run-down trailer!" Come on, after awhile you would get tired of their complaints and start judging them too.

Most people aren't stupid enough to continually try to get people to do things their way when it isn't wanted. If OP is that stupid, I question her judgement all around. We get it. OP is a real winner and her family isn't. You can't change people. So she needs to get over it and shut up. I also don't see how you don't notice her looking down on them - every post has been about what terrible, useless people they are.

[Anonymous]

Uneducated people don't know what they don't know. Often it's tough to not only ask for help, but to even know what to ask. If they've visited OP and are impressed with the lifestyle she earned it seems natural to explain how she and her husband "made it" and offer insights even when the parents are too thick to take it seriously. Not trying to help the family change would be like pulling up the ladder behind her.

If her family is laughing at her it just highlights the dimwitted environment those poor youth are steeping in. If nobody pushes back on the family the children are almost certainly doomed. Sometimes you have to crack some eggs to make an omelette.