Why did you cheat on your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn, so many whores here.

Yup, and there are lot of prudish cold fish here who look at their spouses as roommates and not lovers.

And those whores apparently have their mouth permanently sealed with cocks and pussies since they can't talk to their partner and work out a solution.

Right....except, before I cheated, I came to my spouse with my concerns and went to counseling about it (with him). Tried to work out a solution for 2 years. Things got worse. Then he came out and said that sex and intimacy were not important to him and that 2-3 times a year was the best I had hoped for. Should have divorced him then, but I didn't. That was my fault. But I had bought into this notion that marriage was forever and that sexual incompatibility was a poor reason to divorce. I do not regret my affair but I do wish that I had the courage to leave before I had one.

Question. If I am in this situation. Should I begin planning to leave? I thought I could live this way, but I cannot. Am I a time bomb?

You said it yourself. You can't live that way. If you've communicated your issues to your partner, and they're not willing to put in the effort, then leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have not done it but getting close. Sex is off the table from wife. She has never been high drive, I knew that but was ok with it, but now no drive. Married 8 years. I have no desire to cheat, and I'm not sure I would do it because honestly my wife is the only one that I want to sleep with. That said, partners who don't engage in sex with the other that wants it-I don't think you really understand how soul crushing it is. Its not about getting off, hell I would be happy if my wife let pleasure her and not even focus on me, because that would be some sort of connection. But to lie in bed at night with the person you have pledged your life to and for her to not care about what you need or want, to know after you tell her how much it hurts and offer reasonable and achievable solutions, and she says no is probably the most painful feeling in the world. Yes we could get divorced, or she could work on herself and our marriage-which is the more logical solution? I'm not perfect by any stretch, but there is never any circumstance that has arisen or I could ever see arising, where my wife says this is hurting me and I just say I know and make no effort on my part to change. Its horrible, but cheating probably wouldn't address this. I don't want a divorce, I love my wife and my life in every aspect except for this one. Its pure hell and I'm screwed.......

She could have anger and resentment toward you. Or more likely there is someone else in her heart and mind, maybe someone from her past, and she is being loyal to him in some way. That is how even a good and caring person could behave this way.