Love my wife, but she's getting seriously fat....
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Anonymous
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I haven't read the whole thread so this has probably been mentioned - but for many nursing women cutting down on eating really hits their supply. I tried to switch to less food and just have a salad for lunch...and all the sudden I couldn't pump enough milk to feed my child. It's just not worth it right now. I will say that many women are able to drop weight once they wean - so maybe wait until then to try to encourage more exercise and less food.
And do try to remember she probably already feels awful about it. She sacrificed her body to give you a family. Things will never look exactly the same as they did pre-pregnancy. She may lose the weight but hold onto fat in different places. A lot of it is genetics. |
Anonymous
| PP here. Using a meal delivery service for LUNCH helped me. I stress eat during the day at my office but started using "My power supply" meals for pick at my gym. They have a low carb option. Its pricey but its helped me avoid fried shit at the food truck at least three times a week. |
Anonymous
Oh, despite people calling me a troll, I am well aware she knows it's happening and I have no desire to in any way make things more awful for her...she already is an amazing woman and mother, and I only want the best. NB - for the short-on-reading-comprehension, but long on projected fear and rage among the thread participants: nobody ever said I was contemplating leaving my wife. Way to project your secret fears and tell us what keeps you up at night though. My worry is that basically I'm not going to be attracted to my wife and am going to turn into a "friend" who leaves her feeling unloved.
Her two sisters and her mother are thin and fit and went back to that almost immediately after having children; one aunt is terrifyingly obese (<350lbs)...I just couldn't. |
Anonymous
| Maybe she takes after her dad's side of the family. |
Anonymous
| I work with a woman who hides all the junk food she eats at work from her husband and then complains about how she can't lose the weight on the phone to her husband. she jokes to those at the office about all the chocolate she eats. She literally as slices of chocolate cake in her desk draws. She says that she asked her husband to give her a year after the child before starting to lose the weight. At round 11 months she started seriously binge eating every day at work. That was a year and half ago and she hasn't lost any weight. Before the baby she was attractive. |
Anonymous
Oh, OP- you sound like a decent guy. I'm the oreo lady. When I think back to 5 months post partum with my first, I just remember feeling shitty. I think things probably seemed fine, but I felt fat, number one, for the first time in my life, but always uncontrollably hungry. I was out there walking with the baby every day, and jogging with the baby 3x/week after 7 months, but it wasn't really helping (and to some of the other posters re exercise, I worked out at the gym for my entire pregnancy, started back at the gym 3 weeks postpartum, and walking every day with the baby from the time we came home from the hospital). Anyway, at that point, I had been back to work for about 6 weeks, and the guilt about leaving him was really setting in. From 5-9 months or so, the baby was bigger and drinking a lot more milk, and not getting real calories from solid food yet, so I had to make sure to keep the supply up. And I was exhausted from being up with the baby at night and working all day. Every time I had a few good days with working out and eating well, my supply would tank and then I would be up all night with a baby who didn't eat enough during the day, then I was back to being exhausted and eating whatever sugar I could get my hands on. My mom and grandma were both heavy, and I just remember thinking, this is it. I was always slim and athletic, but now I'm going to be the fat lady for the rest of my life. I had never had to lose a big chunk of weight before and it seemed impossible, and while I know many people who struggled to lose the weight, I always seemed to be running into someone who took the weight off within a couple of months and I felt like I should have too, especially because I was exercising. And I was still SO HUNGRY. All I can say is that for me, even though it seemed like things were going fine - and they were - it took a while for me to just get back to myself. And my husband was always really supportive- he did a ton of cooking and cleaning and everything else during that time, and I appreciated it but I still felt crappy for no really specific reason. I just had to get the motivation and will back on my own, and it took time, and it was more complicated than reminding myself to not eat that bad thing. p.s.- along with eating less once the baby wasn't nursing as much, I started biking and it was awesome. On the bike I felt free of the extra weight for the first time and it was very freeing. |
Anonymous
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OP some women have trouble losing weight while breastfeeding. I was overweight until 9 months PP when I cut back then lost 5-10 lbs in just a couple weeks. My mom is the same way. You should encourage better eating habits (and I should be eating better) but you need to weight until your child is fully weaned (and then a little more time) to evaluate.
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Anonymous
wait* |
Anonymous
| yeah breastfeeding can help you lose weight, but it also makes you hungry and very tired. Bad combination. I dropped 30 lbs within the first 2 months, but the last 15 lbs will take some work and right now I don't have the energy. I am 4 months post partum and will do it slowly as I don't want my milk to dry up from starving myself. You need to be supportive and make it easy for her to lose weight but don't push her. She needs at least a year. |
Anonymous
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OP, I'm willing to bet there is more snacking going on while your DW is at work than just the daily ice cream run and an unhealthy lunch. Maybe she's stressed at work, maybe she feels under scrutiny at home for what she eats so she eats a lot of unhealthy food during the day. Her hormones are still adjusting, and that coupled with any kind of stress might make her vulnerable to comfort/stress eating. She may also just be too damn tired to give much thought about what to eat during the day. Also keep in mind that not getting enough sleep and stress further affects hormones and can cause some people to crave carbs, fatty foods or sweets.
While a homemade lunch packed by her DH sounds like it would be perfect solution, maybe what you are packing just doesn't sound very good when the time comes to eat it. Figure out what she likes to eat and pack a healthier version of that in her lunch. And if she likes sweets, find some recipes for healthier versions to make at home and be sure to pack a bite or two in her lunch. Maybe she won't want to go on her ice cream run (or eat other unhealthy snacks) if she's satisfying her sweet tooth in other (healthier) ways. I also agree with PPs who said you should find some way to encourage her to be more active, either by herself or as a family, whatever her preference is. No, it won't solve the problem 100%, but maybe she'll be more open to making healthier food choices if she's doing other healthy things and otherwise feeling good about herself. Good luck. |
Anonymous
This is funny. OP, I commented earlier about still BFing and newly pregnant. I will admit that during the last year, I had quite the craving for junk food. Like, pringles and candy and other sorts of crap that I normally don't eat. I swear, breastfeeding makes you eat crazy stuff. It's entirely possible that once she stops BFing, your wife will start eating normally again. I would bring lunch, eat it all by 11 am, and be starving still. But my DH doesn't know I was sneaking Pringles at work, and yeah, I've gained a few pounds (not much, maybe 5). About two months ago, one of my coworkers caught me making microwave Kraft mac and cheese and called me out (we are all loud and in each others' business anyway), which actually really helped me see the CRAZINESS that I was operating under. I never buy any of this junk at home, because it's embarrassing. Trust me, your wife knows what she's doing isn't healthy and that she shouldn't be doing it. I would advise you to just ignore it unless it gets too out of control. Check back in if that happens and I'll see if I can come up with good advice on how to handle THAT fun little conversation with her. |
Anonymous
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I had a serious case of postpartum depression and ended up gaining 50lbs binge eating at McD's and Taco Bell when I would drive home from work. It really sucked.
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Anonymous
| If a new father has the time to worry, obsess over the fact that his 5 months postpartum bfing wife's body has changed and is "still" not back to normal....that new papa needs to start getting up with that baby more often. He is not pulling his end of the load. |
Anonymous
| I am the opposite. I was heavy when I met my husband and have been thin for years post kids. I don't know, but I would just marry for love. |
Anonymous
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Wow, what a shitty person.
If I was your wife and I found this I would dump your ass so fast. Have fun getting part time visitation, lol.... |