Love my wife, but she's getting seriously fat....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is her height and weight? before and after?

5'1" - 150
" " - 185

That's a lot - I think obese. I was 123 lbs at 5'7 when I got pregnant. I gained a lot, more than I wanted or expected despite eating healthy. Came home from the hospital at 157 lbs but lost most of it within 6 months and was back to my pp weight. I have a crazy job and no time to exercise but ate healthy. There's no excuse for the ice cream diet.

Some people eat to compensate for extreme fatigue. I was up every 90 minutes with my baby the first 6 months of his life, and went back to work when he was 3 months old. Hell ya I ate too much - the only way I could cope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good God. If the woman is bfing, eating reasonably healthy for most of her meals, is working and exercising. A bowl of ice cream once a week will not make a hill of beans.

Agree...which is why I took her out for that.

Anonymous wrote:How often is she eating crap at lunch? I'll bet she's going out maybe once or twice a week if that.

No, she eats a lot of crap at lunch, every day, and stops for soft-serve, every day.

Is she stressed about work? Can she change jobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a new interview with Vogue magazine she revealed how post-birth she regained her figure instantly with little more effort than some yoga on a mat in her living room.
'I think it's muscle memory,' she told Vogue.
Or it may have been the continuous exercise during her pregnancy.
She also admitted: 'I did kung fu up until two weeks before Benjamin was born, and yoga three days a week.'
And in typically outspoken fashion, she gave her opinion on where some women go wrong when pregnant.
She said: 'I think a lot of people get pregnant and decide they can turn into garbage disposals [dustbin].

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1258830/Gisele-Bundchen-shares-tips-perfect-post-baby-figure--kung-fu-yoga-dont-treat-body-like-dustbin.html

http://www.popsugar.com/celebrity/Gisele-Bundchen-Bikini-Pictures-After-Baby-Vivian-27870910#photo-27870910

Gisele Bundchen is 5'11" and nowhere near typical.

Gisele's JOB is to look good. I'd love to see how she'd look if her work/commute cost her 60 hours a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many people seem to be super-defensive with the notion that compulsive overeating is not a good thing.

I guess they have a very emotional relationship with food because they were raised in homes where both parents worked or something so they didn't get the love and spend the rest of their lives trying to replace that empty feeling with junk food in their bellies.

You're very mean. I am a compulsive overeater with an emotional relationship to food. That's how I was raised, by non-absentee parents. Lifelong patterns are very difficult to break. What do you do for emotional comfort? Spend money? That's not one of my temptations, but many people are compulsive about something if not food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all of these bitter women replying like it is super difficult to lose baby weight. It is called get off your ass and exercise. I lost ALL of my baby weight gain in two months. Bitches be makin' excuses for anything.

did you also work a full time professional job with no household help and a long commute, and were you over 40?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all of these bitter women replying like it is super difficult to lose baby weight. It is called get off your ass and exercise. I lost ALL of my baby weight gain in two months. Bitches be makin' excuses for anything.

I agree. I'm a body type that tends to gain weight and at my peak was 180#s at 5'9". I had to exercise and watch what I put in my mouth and lost it overy a long 6 months.. I'm doen to 147# for a few years noe where I look and feel great. Not only was all that excess fat horrible for me I felt tired and horrible always lugging it around. I lost it FOR ME. Why anyone would want to be out of shape and fat is beyond me. It doesn't feel good and anyone saying otherwise is a liar and lying to themselves.

I'm 5'6" and 175 and I'm in great shape. I could out squat and out deadlift you any day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people seem to be super-defensive with the notion that compulsive overeating is not a good thing.

I guess they have a very emotional relationship with food because they were raised in homes where both parents worked or something so they didn't get the love and spend the rest of their lives trying to replace that empty feeling with junk food in their bellies.

You're very mean. I am a compulsive overeater with an emotional relationship to food. That's how I was raised, by non-absentee parents. Lifelong patterns are very difficult to break. What do you do for emotional comfort? Spend money? That's not one of my temptations, but many people are compulsive about something if not food.

Why is it mean to state a fact? You know you have a problem; so do something about it.

Yes, some people spend money for emotional comfort, or drink, or do drugs. Obviously those things are also bad.

Some people go the healthy route and do sports or yoga.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people seem to be super-defensive with the notion that compulsive overeating is not a good thing.

I guess they have a very emotional relationship with food because they were raised in homes where both parents worked or something so they didn't get the love and spend the rest of their lives trying to replace that empty feeling with junk food in their bellies.

You're very mean. I am a compulsive overeater with an emotional relationship to food. That's how I was raised, by non-absentee parents. Lifelong patterns are very difficult to break. What do you do for emotional comfort? Spend money? That's not one of my temptations, but many people are compulsive about something if not food.

Why is it mean to state a fact? You know you have a problem; so do something about it.

Yes, some people spend money for emotional comfort, or drink, or do drugs. Obviously those things are also bad.

Some people go the healthy route and do sports or yoga.

The mean part is commenting that people are emotional eaters because their parents didn't love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are 5 months post-partum...

No. WE aren't.

5 months... REALLY?

OP appreciate the fact that you are being honest. The last thing you should be doing to this beautiful woman is bring her self esteem down. Women's bodies take a hit during pregnancy and it takes at least 1-2 years to start getting back to normal. In many ways she has sacrificed herself so you both can enjoy a child & build a family. Love her for who she is , unconditionally and it will motivate her to be her best.

No it doesn't take 1-2 years. It only does in America where people have very poor diets.

It must be nice to live in a place like Okinawa, where people don't have all that much money, but lots of time to walk and prepare very simple meals with the same basic ingredients, day after day. Not.

Please. Most Americans have plenty of time to exercise and/or prepare meals. The problem is messed up priorities - my friends who bitch about not having enough time to do healthy things somehow have enough time to watch tv, primp/put on makeup, or drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all of these bitter women replying like it is super difficult to lose baby weight. It is called get off your ass and exercise. I lost ALL of my baby weight gain in two months. Bitches be makin' excuses for anything.

did you also work a full time professional job with no household help and a long commute, and were you over 40?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am not actually your wife. I promise. I'm four inches taller and about 10 lbs heavier than your wife is now.

I'm almost a year out from having my very easy baby. I weaned four months ago and have finally started to lose the weight.

Here's why:

1) I had severe hypothyroidism during pregnancy. I gained too much weight. I spent my first three months PP trying to re-straighten out my thyroid.

2) BFing was a bitch for me as far as hunger. Like, a serious, crazy, shoot-me-now kind of bitch. I know you're trying to be supportive, but if your wife has the same drive to eat that I did, you just won't be able to understand. It's like a five-alarm fire siren. All. The. Damn. Time. EAT EAT EAT.

I ate peanut butter, hummus, lots of shit like that. Stuff that was nutritious but calorie dense.

It took until a few weeks ago for the hormone shift to finish and for the pangs to die down.

3) I'm also an emotional eater. I struggle with it at times and I still have bad days. The stress of being solely responsible for my baby's food, and indirectly, my baby's survival, was hard.

4) I WAH and I'm home with my baby all day. It can be hard to eat well with all that's going on. We eat out a lot because it's easier to pay someone else to chop all those salad veggies.

5) I'm sure she's down about her body. I know I am. But I can only change day by day, and I'm glad my husband is supportive. I food journal and I exercise 4 times a week. I'm working up to 6 times a week. Today I'll go work out when DH comes home. Baby has a cold and I don't want the other kids in the gym daycare to get sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people seem to be super-defensive with the notion that compulsive overeating is not a good thing.

I guess they have a very emotional relationship with food because they were raised in homes where both parents worked or something so they didn't get the love and spend the rest of their lives trying to replace that empty feeling with junk food in their bellies.[/quote]

You're very mean. I am a compulsive overeater with an emotional relationship to food. That's how I was raised, by non-absentee parents. Lifelong patterns are very difficult to break. What do you do for emotional comfort? Spend money? That's not one of my temptations, but many people are compulsive about something if not food.

Why is it mean to state a fact? You know you have a problem; so do something about it.

Yes, some people spend money for emotional comfort, or drink, or do drugs. Obviously those things are also bad.

Some people go the healthy route and do sports or yoga.

The mean part is commenting that people are emotional eaters because their parents didn't love them.

That's not what the PP said though.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar experience with my husband when my daughter was six months old. He sat me down and asked me how I was going to lose the weight. Honestly, it was a slap in the face. I was taking care of three small children, working as the only doctor in my specialty in our town, teaching Sunday school, and taking care of all of the household tasks. I took some big steps back in my career and stopped publishing so that I could take care of our children and my patients without him having to sacrifice his career, and still getting to be the kind of father he wanted to be... And he still wasn't happy...I wasn't doing enough for him?
I started going to the gym after I put the kids in bed at night if he was not on call. I didn't want to see him. I lost the weight, and decided that I still love him and want to see him, but I am done making big changes in my life for him. They are clearly not appreciated. He ended up having a medical problem shortly afterward and lost his job because of it. I went to see him in the hospital a couple of times. I took on more patients in my clinic to pay the bills, but I wasn't about to flip my life upside down for him. Not anymore. He eventually found a job out of state, and obviously the kids and I didn't go. So, yeah, we aren't having sex more than a few times a month when he comes home for the weekend. He lives in a one bedroom apartment 900 miles away. He goes to his doctors appointments alone. He has never met his kids teachers. I don't know what to tell you, but I think that how you handle this can be a big relationship changer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If all these obesity defenders would just admit that if they spent 10% of the time exercising as they currently do on social media and the internet, they would be fine, at least it would indicate they are not completely delusional.

It's easier to be on the internet during working hours than run 2 miles without your boss noticing. You can't seriously be this stupid.

You're supposed to be "working" during "working hours," dear.

You can't seriously be this stupid.

I guess you've never had an office job, and don't understand about legally mandated breaks and incidental internet use? Do you think professionals who work many more than 40 hours a week don't get to post during the workday? You can't seriously be this ignorant - your husband or your parents or somebody who works to support you can explain all this.

Right, and of course, all of the above forces YOU to stuff your face with junk food during those breaks, before and after work, and every other chance you get, and never do any meaningful exercise.

Are you one of those people who is always bringing in cakes, cookies, and candies to work; or scarfing them down when someone else brings them in to a work function; or you always go out to have fattening food at lunch time rather than brown bagging something healthy? Are you the person who has a stash of Snickers bars in your bottom desk drawer for your "afternoon pick me up"?

Put the fork down, dear. It starts with putting the fork down.

NP here. Don't really have a dog in this fight, but wow, you are a mean person. What's with the animosity directed at someone you don't know and will never meet, but just want to insult for sport?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If all these obesity defenders would just admit that if they spent 10% of the time exercising as they currently do on social media and the internet, they would be fine, at least it would indicate they are not completely delusional.

It's easier to be on the internet during working hours than run 2 miles without your boss noticing. You can't seriously be this stupid.

You're supposed to be "working" during "working hours," dear.

You can't seriously be this stupid.

I guess you've never had an office job, and don't understand about legally mandated breaks and incidental internet use? Do you think professionals who work many more than 40 hours a week don't get to post during the workday? You can't seriously be this ignorant - your husband or your parents or somebody who works to support you can explain all this.

Right, and of course, all of the above forces YOU to stuff your face with junk food during those breaks, before and after work, and every other chance you get, and never do any meaningful exercise.

Are you one of those people who is always bringing in cakes, cookies, and candies to work; or scarfing them down when someone else brings them in to a work function; or you always go out to have fattening food at lunch time rather than brown bagging something healthy? Are you the person who has a stash of Snickers bars in your bottom desk drawer for your "afternoon pick me up"?

Put the fork down, dear. It starts with putting the fork down.

You are an evil person.