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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And do try to remember she probably already feels awful about it.[/quote]

Oh, despite people calling me a troll, I am well aware she knows it's happening and I have no desire to in any way make things more awful for her...she already is an amazing woman and mother, and I only want the best.

NB - for the short-on-reading-comprehension, but long on projected fear and rage among the thread participants: nobody ever said I was contemplating leaving my wife.  Way to project your secret fears and tell us what keeps you up at night though.

My worry is that basically I'm not going to be attracted to my wife and am going to turn into a "friend" who leaves her feeling unloved.

[quote=Anonymous]A lot of it is genetics.[/quote]

Her two sisters and her mother are thin and fit and went back to that almost immediately after having children; one aunt is terrifyingly obese (<350lbs)...I just couldn't.  [/quote]

Oh, OP- you sound like a decent guy.  I'm the oreo lady.  When I think back to 5 months post partum with my first, I just remember feeling shitty.  I think things probably seemed fine, but I felt fat, number one, for the first time in my life, but always uncontrollably hungry.  I was out there walking with the baby every day, and jogging with the baby 3x/week after 7 months, but it wasn't really helping (and to some of the other posters re exercise, I worked out at the gym for my entire pregnancy, started back at the gym 3 weeks postpartum, and walking every day with the baby from the time we came home from the hospital).  Anyway, at that point, I had been back to work for about 6 weeks, and the guilt about leaving him was really setting in.  From 5-9 months or so, the baby was bigger and drinking a lot more milk, and not getting real calories from solid food yet, so I had to make sure to keep the supply up.  And I was exhausted from being up with the baby at night and working all day.  Every time I had a few good days with working out and eating well, my supply would tank and then I would be up all night with a baby who didn't eat enough during the day, then I was back to being exhausted and eating whatever sugar I could get my hands on.

My mom and grandma were both heavy, and I just remember thinking, this is it.  I was always slim and athletic, but now I'm going to be the fat lady for the rest of my life.  I had never had to lose a big chunk of weight before and it seemed impossible, and while I know many people who struggled to lose the weight, I always seemed to be running into someone who took the weight off within a couple of months and I felt like I should have too, especially because I was exercising.  And I was still SO HUNGRY.

All I can say is that for me, even though it seemed like things were going fine - and they were - it took a while for me to just get back to myself.  And my husband was always really supportive- he did a ton of cooking and cleaning and everything else during that time, and I appreciated it but I still felt crappy for no really specific reason.  I just had to get the motivation and will back on my own, and it took time, and it was more complicated than reminding myself to not eat that bad thing.

p.s.- along with eating less once the baby wasn't nursing as much, I started biking and it was awesome.  On the bike I felt free of the extra weight for the first time and it was very freeing.[/quote]

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