not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are fat because you eat too much and don't use up the calories.

Sure some people have a faster metabolism which causes them to consume those calories more easily but for those who don't have that sort of metabolism the answer is to eat less and exercise more.

Most people consume way more calories than they think they do. Eating out is one of the ways people end up not only gorging on those oversized portions but they are also laden with fat and calories. You don't need to eat salads - you eat everything but in moderation.

It really works and I am living proof of this.

eh, I'm not going to kill myself trying to "maintain" (starve) myself into a weight that is just not in the cards for me. For the most part, I avoid highly processed foods and I exercise pretty regularly. My results *should* be better but they aren't. Oh well, 'tis life.

Im.sure you'd be far From starving. Many people's concept of thin is still pretty fat.

Nope. Most people would not be comfortable on the diet I would have to be on to achieve "thin".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am afraid to tell him because it will open the door to him truly insulting me and I don't think I can take it.

If you're fat, you're fat. No point in beating about the bush. Perhaps for him it means he's not attracted to you, etc, which all have repercussions on his life and happiness. It's not a nice word for you to hear, but sometimes loved ones have to hear harsh words in order to get their act together. Now with a lot on your plate it might be very hard to do, and in that case you could very well tell him to shut up about it. But the fact remains you'll have to address this at some point in your life, sooner rather than later.

The woman works, has three kids, including a 9 month old. I think she likely has plenty on her plate right now. Should she be giving him digs on this vacation that he doesn't make enough money for her to stay home and have time to exercise?

Sounds like he also works, has three kids, including a 9 month old.
I don't understand why does working and kids have anything to do with eating less calories?
Just eat less!

Wow, I'd hate to be married to you. My husband works out in the morning. I can't since someone has to be home and get the kids ready for school. I drop them off at school. He picks them up and cooks dinner while I'm on my way home. Since he works out, he cooks carb rich food he loves. I don't have time to work out, and after a long day I'm not going to eat salad while everyone else enjoys chicken Parmesan.

So many potential solutions here. You alternate going to the gym in the mornings. He wants to work out daily? He does a home based workout the days you go to gym OR on those days he gets up an hour or hour and a half early and goes to gym for his workout then comes home so you can go do yours. Or you hit the gym on the way home and either push dinner back an hour and a half or he feeds the kids and you two eat together later.

I'd love to workout in the morning. But timing doesn't work since I need to be out the door, with kids dressed and fed, at 7:15. We don't have room for an in home gym. And I'm not going to take away family time in the evening to workout.

[Anonymous]

^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.

Why not? I have three kids. I work full time. I run outdoors in the mornings, winter or summer, rain or shine.
If you want to get healthy, then you have to commit to it, even if it's not fun sometimes. If it was easy, everyone would be fit. But making excuses won't help you get strong or healthy.

One reason I exercise and watch my weight is to show my kids that strong and healthy is the goal. I model the behavior I'd like to see in them. Getting out and moving is key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.

Why not? I have three kids. I work full time. I run outdoors in the mornings, winter or summer, rain or shine.
If you want to get healthy, then you have to commit to it, even if it's not fun sometimes. If it was easy, everyone would be fit. But making excuses won't help you get strong or healthy.

One reason I exercise and watch my weight is to show my kids that strong and healthy is the goal. I model the behavior I'd like to see in them. Getting out and moving is key.

So you run in the dark, on the ice. You are a disaster waiting to happen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.

Why not? I have three kids. I work full time. I run outdoors in the mornings, winter or summer, rain or shine.
If you want to get healthy, then you have to commit to it, even if it's not fun sometimes. If it was easy, everyone would be fit. But making excuses won't help you get strong or healthy.

One reason I exercise and watch my weight is to show my kids that strong and healthy is the goal. I model the behavior I'd like to see in them. Getting out and moving is key.

So you run in the dark, on the ice. You are a disaster waiting to happen

There have been about 4 or 5 mornings this winter when it wasn't safe to run, so I didn't. Otherwise, it's all systems go. I wear flashers and reflectors.
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just pointing out that it's easier to make excuses than to do hard work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.

Why not? I have three kids. I work full time. I run outdoors in the mornings, winter or summer, rain or shine.
If you want to get healthy, then you have to commit to it, even if it's not fun sometimes. If it was easy, everyone would be fit. But making excuses won't help you get strong or healthy.

One reason I exercise and watch my weight is to show my kids that strong and healthy is the goal. I model the behavior I'd like to see in them. Getting out and moving is key.

So you run in the dark, on the ice. You are a disaster waiting to happen

There have been about 4 or 5 mornings this winter when it wasn't safe to run, so I didn't. Otherwise, it's all systems go. I wear flashers and reflectors.
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just pointing out that it's easier to make excuses than to do hard work.

Lots of women go missing this way. It is not safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.

Why not? I have three kids. I work full time. I run outdoors in the mornings, winter or summer, rain or shine.
If you want to get healthy, then you have to commit to it, even if it's not fun sometimes. If it was easy, everyone would be fit. But making excuses won't help you get strong or healthy.

One reason I exercise and watch my weight is to show my kids that strong and healthy is the goal. I model the behavior I'd like to see in them. Getting out and moving is key.

So you run in the dark, on the ice. You are a disaster waiting to happen

There have been about 4 or 5 mornings this winter when it wasn't safe to run, so I didn't. Otherwise, it's all systems go. I wear flashers and reflectors.
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just pointing out that it's easier to make excuses than to do hard work.

Lots of women go missing this way. It is not safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am afraid to tell him because it will open the door to him truly insulting me and I don't think I can take it.

You can take it.

I used to be fat. You know what helped me not be fat anymore? Standing up for myself. It really helps a whole lot, because you learn to express and assert yourself, instead of eat it (feeling, food, whatever).

I get that it can be hard, but your body image, self worth, weight, and relationship will not be improved here. Not even a bit. You gotta communicate and talk and be strong.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.

Why not? I have three kids. I work full time. I run outdoors in the mornings, winter or summer, rain or shine.
If you want to get healthy, then you have to commit to it, even if it's not fun sometimes. If it was easy, everyone would be fit. But making excuses won't help you get strong or healthy.

One reason I exercise and watch my weight is to show my kids that strong and healthy is the goal. I model the behavior I'd like to see in them. Getting out and moving is key.

So you run in the dark, on the ice. You are a disaster waiting to happen

There have been about 4 or 5 mornings this winter when it wasn't safe to run, so I didn't. Otherwise, it's all systems go. I wear flashers and reflectors.
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just pointing out that it's easier to make excuses than to do hard work.

Lots of women go missing this way. It is not safe.

. I'd agree, if I was running alone. I'm not. Find a friend. There are plenty of people running every day...I bet you know a few. Enlist a friend who wants to get fit. Just get out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.

Why not? I have three kids. I work full time. I run outdoors in the mornings, winter or summer, rain or shine.
If you want to get healthy, then you have to commit to it, even if it's not fun sometimes. If it was easy, everyone would be fit. But making excuses won't help you get strong or healthy.

One reason I exercise and watch my weight is to show my kids that strong and healthy is the goal. I model the behavior I'd like to see in them. Getting out and moving is key.

So you run in the dark, on the ice. You are a disaster waiting to happen

There have been about 4 or 5 mornings this winter when it wasn't safe to run, so I didn't. Otherwise, it's all systems go. I wear flashers and reflectors.
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just pointing out that it's easier to make excuses than to do hard work.

Oh, good grief. Not pp but I have been known to get out every day, rain or shine, snow/ice/sub zero temps to exercise. Every day. But when my kids were little, that was just plain not feasible for me and I was a SAHM. It wasn't so much a matter of not wanting to do the hard work (getting out and exercising would have been a BREAK for me) it was more a time/resources thing.

[Anonymous]

Um, you all do realize that weight loss is 90% diet and only 10% exercise? So why all this talk about running/exercise? While running/exercise is fantastic, it has very little to do with the thread.

This should be "good news" for the previous posters who are just way too busy for exercise. Lucky for you, exercise is just not all that critical to lose weight! Even better news is the fact that, by eating less, you will save alot of time (that was otherwise spent eating more) and can more quickly get back to your busy lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not eat low-calorie items then?

If you're still nursing, you shouldn't be eating low calorie foods (but you also shouldn't be eating junk).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, you all do realize that weight loss is 90% diet and only 10% exercise? So why all this talk about running/exercise? While running/exercise is fantastic, it has very little to do with the thread.

This should be "good news" for the previous posters who are just way too busy for exercise. Lucky for you, exercise is just not all that critical to lose weight! Even better news is the fact that, by eating less, you will save alot of time (that was otherwise spent eating more) and can more quickly get back to your busy lives.

And you will live forever and ever and ever and never ever get sick, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.

Why not? I have three kids. I work full time. I run outdoors in the mornings, winter or summer, rain or shine.
If you want to get healthy, then you have to commit to it, even if it's not fun sometimes. If it was easy, everyone would be fit. But making excuses won't help you get strong or healthy.

One reason I exercise and watch my weight is to show my kids that strong and healthy is the goal. I model the behavior I'd like to see in them. Getting out and moving is key.

So you run in the dark, on the ice. You are a disaster waiting to happen

There have been about 4 or 5 mornings this winter when it wasn't safe to run, so I didn't. Otherwise, it's all systems go. I wear flashers and reflectors.
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just pointing out that it's easier to make excuses than to do hard work.

Oh, good grief. Not pp but I have been known to get out every day, rain or shine, snow/ice/sub zero temps to exercise. Every day. But when my kids were little, that was just plain not feasible for me and I was a SAHM. It wasn't so much a matter of not wanting to do the hard work (getting out and exercising would have been a BREAK for me) it was more a time/resources thing.

+1. OP, focus on baby steps. With a 9 month old plus two other little ones, you should try your best to get adequate sleep. Then, look at your water intake. Are you drinking enough water? This also impacts your energy level. Next, cut carbs after 5pm. Baby steps. You get a pass for the first year postnatal. Forgive yourself for not having it together at all times (nobody does). Just commit to not gaining any further weight. Enjoy your kids youth and talk to your husband frankly about his comments.