If you are a SAHM do you get an "allowance"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this comment does not bode well. I wouldn't quit my job if my partner had even a hint of this attitude. You and he need to talk in more detail. I think there will be a big swing in the power dynamic if you quit working, and it will not be good for you.

+1. I think being a SAHM could end up adding a lot of stress to your relationship. Given what you would be contributing to the household as a SAHM (taking on the bulk of child care, cooking, cleaning, errands, etc) you are absolutely helping him be able to earn money outside the home.

My parents had this dynamic - my mom stayed at home with us and dad had a "it's my money" attitude. Well, how would he be able to work outside the home if he had to do all the cooking and cleaning and take care of all three of his kids? He'd have to pay someone to do it, or not work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Wow - you and the PP you refer to really just embody the worst of DCUM and of parents in general. I don't care if people call themselves CEO of their homes. What is wrong with you that THAT, of all things, bothers you ? You are pathetic to get riled up about that.

And SAHM poster, you took the bait and are being so nasty, too. I WOHM and am confident that I am a great parent, so I see no need to cut down others to make myself feel better. The two of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Go back and read what you wrote. THAT is pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Okaay, how much is your allowance?

LOL. You are funny! First of all, I have my own earned money, inheritance, and property. I handle the household finances and I have a right over 50% of whatever DH has earned. No prenup. DH is from a moneyed family too and also has inheritance that will come to him. So, money is immaterial.

I do not need an allowance. I do have a budget for the chap who mows my lawn and the maid who comes in twice a week, but I made that budget.

Money is a great thing if it allows you to spend more time with your family.

Hysterical - you are apparently swimming in money that you didn't earn and are judging people who are working to draw a salary. The vast majority of working mothers NEED their paychecks. Must be so easy to judge people for working when you are spoiled and financial security is not an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Wow - you and the PP you refer to really just embody the worst of DCUM and of parents in general. I don't care if people call themselves CEO of their homes. What is wrong with you that THAT, of all things, bothers you ? You are pathetic to get riled up about that.

And SAHM poster, you took the bait and are being so nasty, too. I WOHM and am confident that I am a great parent, so I see no need to cut down others to make myself feel better. The two of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Go back and read what you wrote. THAT is pathetic.

Actually, you think it is pathetic only after I became as nasty as the WOHM. So, thank you for your reaction, it was very illuminating. I think what is pathetic is that every single week there is some disparaging remarks about SAHMs. I very rarely see a thread that asks WOHMs how they spend their days or how their DH allows them to be on the gravy train etc. WOHMs bring in a paycheck and SAHMs are with their children more than WOHMs are. This is the reality and not an apples to apples comparison. But hey, this SAHM can actually do some plain talking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Okaay, how much is your allowance?

LOL. You are funny! First of all, I have my own earned money, inheritance, and property. I handle the household finances and I have a right over 50% of whatever DH has earned. No prenup. DH is from a moneyed family too and also has inheritance that will come to him. So, money is immaterial.

I do not need an allowance. I do have a budget for the chap who mows my lawn and the maid who comes in twice a week, but I made that budget.

Money is a great thing if it allows you to spend more time with your family.

Hysterical - you are apparently swimming in money that you didn't earn and are judging people who are working to draw a salary. The vast majority of working mothers NEED their paychecks. Must be so easy to judge people for working when you are spoiled and financial security is not an issue.

Well, you said it! Majority of WOHMs need that paycheck, that is why they work. Those who do not need the money (or can live with less) can afford to be SAHMs if they want. Reread what I have written about having my own earned money.

But, I digress. This snarky thread was about "how much allowance a SAHM gets" - and I wanted to say that being able to SAHM is a choice many women make when their financial situation allows them to or if that is what the family needs. If I needed to earn money in the future, I would go back to work. Would I be happy about working for pay? No, mainly because it would take me away from my kids and home - but I would do it anyways because thats what my family needed.

Having money is great when it allows you to spend more time with your family. My money allows me to do that. How is that impacting your life and your situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Wow - you and the PP you refer to really just embody the worst of DCUM and of parents in general. I don't care if people call themselves CEO of their homes. What is wrong with you that THAT, of all things, bothers you ? You are pathetic to get riled up about that.

And SAHM poster, you took the bait and are being so nasty, too. I WOHM and am confident that I am a great parent, so I see no need to cut down others to make myself feel better. The two of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Go back and read what you wrote. THAT is pathetic.

Actually, you think it is pathetic only after I became as nasty as the WOHM. So, thank you for your reaction, it was very illuminating. I think what is pathetic is that every single week there is some disparaging remarks about SAHMs. I very rarely see a thread that asks WOHMs how they spend their days or how their DH allows them to be on the gravy train etc. WOHMs bring in a paycheck and SAHMs are with their children more than WOHMs are. This is the reality and not an apples to apples comparison. But hey, this SAHM can actually do some plain talking.

This makes no sense. You and the nasty WOHM pp are still both pathetic. I hope that it is, in fact, illuminating and inspires you to be kinder and less judgmental of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Wow - you and the PP you refer to really just embody the worst of DCUM and of parents in general. I don't care if people call themselves CEO of their homes. What is wrong with you that THAT, of all things, bothers you ? You are pathetic to get riled up about that.

And SAHM poster, you took the bait and are being so nasty, too. I WOHM and am confident that I am a great parent, so I see no need to cut down others to make myself feel better. The two of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Go back and read what you wrote. THAT is pathetic.

Actually, you think it is pathetic only after I became as nasty as the WOHM. So, thank you for your reaction, it was very illuminating. I think what is pathetic is that every single week there is some disparaging remarks about SAHMs. I very rarely see a thread that asks WOHMs how they spend their days or how their DH allows them to be on the gravy train etc. WOHMs bring in a paycheck and SAHMs are with their children more than WOHMs are. This is the reality and not an apples to apples comparison. But hey, this SAHM can actually do some plain talking.

I am the PP you are responding to. I agree that it is pathetic when WOHMs bash SAHMs. Everyone needs to appreciate that they are doing what works best for their own families. I just don't understand people sometimes. I have plenty of friends who are SAHMs and we're not at each other's throats. Who are you people that get so cranky about what other people do? And what will you do if your children don't follow in your own footsteps? If your DD decides to be a SAHM will you shame her for her decision? If your DD decides to WOHM even if you think she doesn't "need" the paycheck, are you going to judge her and tell her she's only a part time mother? Our parents' generation didn't get caught up in all this bullshit. Whether my daughter is a SAHM, WOHM, or decides to not get married or have kids at all, she will have the benefit of knowing for a fact I love her and support her decisions, no matter what. She won't hear a disparaging comment about SAHMs from me.

[Anonymous]

"But, I digress. This snarky thread was about "how much allowance a SAHM gets" - and I wanted to say that being able to SAHM is a choice many women make when their financial situation allows them to or if that is what the family needs. If I needed to earn money in the future, I would go back to work. Would I be happy about working for pay? No, mainly because it would take me away from my kids and home - but I would do it anyways because thats what my family needed.

Having money is great when it allows you to spend more time with your family. My money allows me to do that. How is that impacting your life and your situation?"

Looking forward to your helpful advice for the next DCUM SAHM Poster whose husband has taken a powder and left her and the kids flat. Can't wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Wow - you and the PP you refer to really just embody the worst of DCUM and of parents in general. I don't care if people call themselves CEO of their homes. What is wrong with you that THAT, of all things, bothers you ? You are pathetic to get riled up about that.

And SAHM poster, you took the bait and are being so nasty, too. I WOHM and am confident that I am a great parent, so I see no need to cut down others to make myself feel better. The two of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Go back and read what you wrote. THAT is pathetic.

Actually, you think it is pathetic only after I became as nasty as the WOHM. So, thank you for your reaction, it was very illuminating. I think what is pathetic is that every single week there is some disparaging remarks about SAHMs. I very rarely see a thread that asks WOHMs how they spend their days or how their DH allows them to be on the gravy train etc. WOHMs bring in a paycheck and SAHMs are with their children more than WOHMs are. This is the reality and not an apples to apples comparison. But hey, this SAHM can actually do some plain talking.

This makes no sense. You and the nasty WOHM pp are still both pathetic. I hope that it is, in fact, illuminating and inspires you to be kinder and less judgmental of others.

No, what is pathetic that no WOHM calls out another WOHM when they attack SAHMs and vice versa on DCUM. You are pathetic if you do not speak up. It requires a backlash for you to come here and clutch at your pearls? Well, get over it!

IRL, my best friends are WOHMs, SAHMs and WAHMs. I would steer clear of DCUM type crazies IRL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"But, I digress. This snarky thread was about "how much allowance a SAHM gets" - and I wanted to say that being able to SAHM is a choice many women make when their financial situation allows them to or if that is what the family needs. If I needed to earn money in the future, I would go back to work. Would I be happy about working for pay? No, mainly because it would take me away from my kids and home - but I would do it anyways because thats what my family needed.

Having money is great when it allows you to spend more time with your family. My money allows me to do that. How is that impacting your life and your situation?"

Looking forward to your helpful advice for the next DCUM SAHM Poster whose husband has taken a powder and left her and the kids flat. Can't wait.

Right now, I am trying to advise the WOHM weighing 190 lbs on the relationship forum. Her husband who weighs only 135 lbs can't bear to touch her. In the meanwhile her married male colleagues want to have sex with her. Will she let them or won't she? Will her marriage survive, or won't it? In the meanwhile - do we know what is happening with her child? Will she try the Paleo diet? Stay tuned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Wow - you and the PP you refer to really just embody the worst of DCUM and of parents in general. I don't care if people call themselves CEO of their homes. What is wrong with you that THAT, of all things, bothers you ? You are pathetic to get riled up about that.

And SAHM poster, you took the bait and are being so nasty, too. I WOHM and am confident that I am a great parent, so I see no need to cut down others to make myself feel better. The two of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Go back and read what you wrote. THAT is pathetic.

Actually, you think it is pathetic only after I became as nasty as the WOHM. So, thank you for your reaction, it was very illuminating. I think what is pathetic is that every single week there is some disparaging remarks about SAHMs. I very rarely see a thread that asks WOHMs how they spend their days or how their DH allows them to be on the gravy train etc. WOHMs bring in a paycheck and SAHMs are with their children more than WOHMs are. This is the reality and not an apples to apples comparison. But hey, this SAHM can actually do some plain talking.

This makes no sense. You and the nasty WOHM pp are still both pathetic. I hope that it is, in fact, illuminating and inspires you to be kinder and less judgmental of others.

No, what is pathetic that no WOHM calls out another WOHM when they attack SAHMs and vice versa on DCUM. You are pathetic if you do not speak up. It requires a backlash for you to come here and clutch at your pearls? Well, get over it!

IRL, my best friends are WOHMs, SAHMs and WAHMs. I would steer clear of DCUM type crazies IRL.

I think you are selectively ignoring the many WOHMs who defend SAHMs, even on this thread! I frequently call out people on their anti-SAHM nonsense, but it sounds like this is a very sensitive subject for you. I'm not touchy or oversensitive about people making anti-WOHM comments because I'm confident and happy that I'm doing the best for my family. What's your deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"But, I digress. This snarky thread was about "how much allowance a SAHM gets" - and I wanted to say that being able to SAHM is a choice many women make when their financial situation allows them to or if that is what the family needs. If I needed to earn money in the future, I would go back to work. Would I be happy about working for pay? No, mainly because it would take me away from my kids and home - but I would do it anyways because thats what my family needed.

Having money is great when it allows you to spend more time with your family. My money allows me to do that. How is that impacting your life and your situation?"

Looking forward to your helpful advice for the next DCUM SAHM Poster whose husband has taken a powder and left her and the kids flat. Can't wait.

Right now, I am trying to advise the WOHM weighing 190 lbs on the relationship forum. Her husband who weighs only 135 lbs can't bear to touch her. In the meanwhile her married male colleagues want to have sex with her. Will she let them or won't she? Will her marriage survive, or won't it? In the meanwhile - do we know what is happening with her child? Will she try the Paleo diet? Stay tuned.

Are you advising her that she should weigh 145??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"But, I digress. This snarky thread was about "how much allowance a SAHM gets" - and I wanted to say that being able to SAHM is a choice many women make when their financial situation allows them to or if that is what the family needs. If I needed to earn money in the future, I would go back to work. Would I be happy about working for pay? No, mainly because it would take me away from my kids and home - but I would do it anyways because thats what my family needed.

Having money is great when it allows you to spend more time with your family. My money allows me to do that. How is that impacting your life and your situation?"

Looking forward to your helpful advice for the next DCUM SAHM Poster whose husband has taken a powder and left her and the kids flat. Can't wait.

Right now, I am trying to advise the WOHM weighing 190 lbs on the relationship forum. Her husband who weighs only 135 lbs can't bear to touch her. In the meanwhile her married male colleagues want to have sex with her. Will she let them or won't she? Will her marriage survive, or won't it? In the meanwhile - do we know what is happening with her child? Will she try the Paleo diet? Stay tuned.

Are you advising her that she should weigh 145??

Actually, I am advising her not to have sexually inappropriate conversations with male colleagues. I wonder what kind of work she is doing that there is no fear of unprofessional conduct or being sued for sexual harassment? Not a 1%er for sure.