i wish my boyfriend was more motivated

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01/20/2015 17:17

Subject: i wish my boyfriend was more motivated

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Anonymous

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Anonymous wrote:Pp, I was with you until you started bemoaning the fact that you had to pay for college because you "didn't know".

This is about you, not your mom, you clearly begrudge him. Maybe he wanted to spend more time with his family.

Well, his job for the government involves a lot of travel. So we actually saw him WAY less- in fact for a few years he actually lived overseas, much to my family's chagrin.

Also, I forgot to finish my sentence about paying for college. To clarify, we didnt know there was hardly any money in our college funds. No one really told us, and my mother wasn't aware of the amounts because my father had told her there was more in them. So when it was time to apply to colleges, my father encouraged us to go to expensive, private, out of state universities, with extremely expensive tuition. The idea of getting student loans was never presented to us until AFTER our first semester, which was pretty much all that was covered by the college fund. So we very quickly had to figure out how to fill out a FAFSA and apply for loans and look into transferring schools, but we were already attending extremely expensive schools and plugged into that school culture.

PP I'm sorry, but that is ridiculous to be complaining when it was clearly your choice to stay at the expensive school. You are trying to make yourself this poor victim of your awful father, but you chose to stay. Now you have to pay that money back.

Of course I do. I actually didnt stay at the school, I transferred out. However, one semester at an extremely expensive out of state private school steal means tens of thousands in student loan debt, as do the subsequent semesters at the cheaper school I went to. Sorry, it's not as cut and dry as you are making it out to be. A father has a responsibility to accurately prepare a child for their difficulties they are about to face, particularly when they raise that child with the expectation that those difficulties wont exist for them.

So your mom was a banker and didnt get the memo that your dad wasn't ambitious when he got a JOB WITH THE GOVT? At that point, she should have gone back to work, not "rise in the ranks of volunteer boards" (WTF does that even mean, is there that much competition between all these SAHM to look important?). And I suspect after a decade of living frugally, she might have been keen to keeping any eye on the bank accounts for the college fund (you, the money was in the industry she used to work in).

There is much more dirty laundry on your family, your mom did something that ended her career besides have some kids. You will probably hear about it on someone's death bed.

LOL! Thats hysterical. All the dirty laundry came out during the divorce and trust me, that wasn't it. We didnt live THAT frugally, belonged to am extremely exclusive country club, two of us attended private schools actually- expensive ones where the cost was similar to that of a college. Which is what made the absence of money in the college fund so baffling. The frugal aspect was, as I said, no extras- not really going out to eat, having vacations which were frugal and usually involved state parks. It was a big comedown in lifestyle for my mother, who had grown up going to the theatre once a month. We were never in dire financial straits or even the kind where my mother really had to work outside the home and... get this... she was actually REALLY close with her children and none of us wanted to have her gone and unreachable for large parts of our day.

OP, you really seem like a spoiled ingrate. I know you don't agree, but your posts are just dripping with entitlement, thin-veiled manipulativeness and First World Problems. Please don't marry this guy and saddle him with the weight of your demands. I feel sorry for him for being so naive and trusting of someone who regards him as little more than a beast of burden.