i wish my boyfriend was more motivated

[Anonymous]

i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

[Anonymous]

LOL! Classic DCUM Princess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

Why do you demand career ambition from him when you, yourself, plan to be just a mommy?

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with planning to be a SAHM (as long as you're doing it because you want to be a homemaker, not because of more selfish reasons!), however it is important to communicate these plans to your boyfriend and if you think he's not ready for them, dump him and move on.

Also I'm 99.999% sure you're a troll but I'm humoring you anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing wrong with planning to be a SAHM (as long as you're doing it because you want to be a homemaker, not because of more selfish reasons!), however it is important to communicate these plans to your boyfriend and if you think he's not ready for them, dump him and move on.

Also I'm 99.999% sure you're a troll but I'm humoring you anyway.

99.999%? I'm 300% sure. This is a troll, do not feed the troll people. Move along, nothing to see here.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm going to tell you something you may not want to hear. If this is who your boyfriend is now, it's very unlikely get better. My advice is that you be honest with yourself about how important this is to you. If you need to be in a relationship with someone who is ambitious and a good provider, then you may want to get out of this relationship now. He is who he is. Don't commit long-term in the hope that he'll change. He probably won't.

[Anonymous]

If you want to be a SAHM and have a certain lifestyle envisioned for yourself, marrying for love is not your end game.
Does bff know this or is this your secret plan?
Exactly what HHI are you aiming for?

[Anonymous]

If the man is the plan, you need to plan for a better man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

If he doesn't want to work, how about plan for him to stay home with the kids?

[Anonymous]

OP - Look for another sucker to fund your SAHM dreams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

If he doesn't want to work, how about plan for him to stay home with the kids?

This. Obvious and natural choice here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

Why do you demand career ambition from him when you, yourself, plan to be just a mommy?

I don't plan to be "just" a mommy. This in itself is severely insulting to mothers anywhere. Motherhood takes a lot of work!

I do want to not be nursing a new born and trying to meet deadlines at work. Ideally, I'd like to take 3-4 years off to focus on kids and go back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

Why do you demand career ambition from him when you, yourself, plan to be just a mommy?

I don't plan to be "just" a mommy. This in itself is severely insulting to mothers anywhere. Motherhood takes a lot of work!

I do want to not be nursing a new born and trying to meet deadlines at work. Ideally, I'd like to take 3-4 years off to focus on kids and go back to work.

bahahahahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i am a 27 year old female dating a 26 year old guy for over a year now. although i love him dearly and he has been a wonderful, kind and generous boyfriend, i find myself increasingly disheartened by his lack of career focus and direction. its not that he is a slacker, per se, he was a brilliant student and has completed 2 fancy degrees. he just doesn't seem to try harder to get a job and build a well paying career. we are talking about the future now and i'm worried that his lack of direction and drive professionally will negatively affect our goals (getting married, affording children etc). furthermore, i really want to be able to stay home with my children for a few years and i need him to be on the path to a well paying career so we can afford to do that.

any ideas on how to deal with this? am i being too superficial?

Why do you demand career ambition from him when you, yourself, plan to be just a mommy?

I don't plan to be "just" a mommy. This in itself is severely insulting to mothers anywhere. Motherhood takes a lot of work!

I do want to not be nursing a new born and trying to meet deadlines at work. Ideally, I'd like to take 3-4 years off to focus on kids and go back to work.

Why not let him be the stay at home dad while you focus on your career (since it is such a HUGE thing in your mind)?

[Anonymous]

Insert Bill Burr's stand-up about Mothers having the hardest job in the world.