Husband doesn't sit or eat with us for dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread shows me his many women just put up with any treatment.

Why?

Is it because he brings in so much money? Because your own family was unhealthy.m? Do you have low self-esteem?

Seriously, why do you let these fathers get away with such selfish behavior, which clearly does but promote family values???

And when women and children divorce these losers what happens?

They continue to be losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here wanting to add that he is not a disengaged parent - he brushes her teeth and gives her baths and gives me a break if I need one, usually. But he has no sens of family routine and togetherness as being valuable.

OP my DH is like this but less extreme. He at least tends to other tasks in other places so it's a somewhat productive use of the time, sometimes.

From his parents I can see how it happens. They really just don't talk at all. So this idea of sitting and making conversation together as just a family norm, no that piece is missing. He is fine at a restaurant, socializing with others, etc. But not at home and it started pre-kids and frankly back then I would just watch TV with my dinner. It's a symptom of broader problems as always. But it is depressing and I wish it were better.

Mental disorders.

I used to think cultural differences but then all the chronic symptoms kept piling up and up.

I don't disagree. I have plenty of armchair diagnoses.

He has some kind of anxiety around family meals where people just sit and talk. He will busy himself with chores or kids' needs when it's not necessary and other people will say "he's so helpful" but I know he also can't calmly sit and just talk anymore.

I honestly didn't know earlier. We would go out with friends a lot and he's great in that context of long meals and hanging out. It's the everyday family time as a routine/MO that is missing. Sometimes I feel like it's just his loss if he wants to be futzing with his phone in another room instead of putting the rest of us on edge and feeling uncomfortable.

He’s the shallow type who can only talk about work or sit and listen to talkative people whilst never actually contributing to a back and forth conversation.

He will actively avoid personal conversations or answering those questions, and will dodge providing an opinion. He doesn’t have opinions or take views; he’s too confused about life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg I was just googling this to see how normal it is. My spouse does the same- eats in front of the tv while the rest of us eat. He’s so checked out.

Hasn’t anyone told him that’s rude?

The only people I know who do that are mentally ill and hate people or super old and take 2 hours to eat and don’t talk anymore.

When I was growing up, my mom would cook for us and she would eat in front of the tv while I would eat alone and read. I was ages 6-18. She was a single mom and I’m an only child.

And?