Husband doesn't sit or eat with us for dinner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps he just doesn't realize how important this is to you OP.

Men can be quite clueless about things like this.

Why not talk to him directly and let him know that it is very important to you that he sits down with the family and eats dinner with you and the children every evening? If he knows it will mean something to you, he most likely will comply. I do not see why he wouldn't.

A lot of men are just too selfish, not too clueless about family.

How can a normal person think it's fine to not sit down with your family for dinner? It's one thing if you guys have no kids, but it's even more important if you do have kids.

Did he grow up in a broken home or something? Did he even want kids? Is he an otherwise engaged parent and spouse?

My silent, self absorbed spouse and father of one is so because he and his parents are all in the spectrum. They don’t care about sharing and conversating, so don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didnt read whole thread but my dh also doesn’t eat with us. He goes into the guest room after work and “decompresses” and watches tv/the news while we eat.

Wtf.

In what planet is that ok and not totally rude and insulting to the family.

[Anonymous]

Mine rarely does either excluding nights that he is responsible for dinner since we take turns. But if he just grabs a pizza he also just calls the kids to eat and disappears. On the nights I cook he is usually at work or has disappeared somewhere. He does Uber Eats also for extra money so maybe he is doing that since dinner time is peak money but who knows. I stopped caring anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have misophonia?

Was thinking the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you allow this, OP? I would throw out the chips and hide the iPad. It's disrespectful to you and your daughter.

Bingo… You’re enabling him. If I did that, DW would put a foot in my a$$. 😁

[Anonymous]

Chips isn’t a dinner. What are his meals? Does he eat late lunch?

[Anonymous]

If he eats chips while on the Ipad around 8 but gets home around 6-630 what does he do while you and the child eat?

He may not want to eat when you do because he has a late lunch or has a meal before he comes home.

He may need time to himself right after work but could be okay to spend time with you later.

Maybe you should ask him what time after work would be best for him to spend some time with you and the child and if he would prefer food then or no food. It's the time with family that is important, not so much the eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's just me and my daughter 29 days out of 30. He eats chips in front of his ipad later in the evening.

How common is this? Dreading solo dining the rest of my life.

I’m a man.

Not normal. Not normal at all.

And, chips? Is he obese?

[Anonymous]

Yikes. I sit with my family even if I don’t eat for whatever reason. I will say that about 2x a month dinner might be grab whatever /eating at different times but that’s usually due to schedules, travel or illness. When dh is out of town we might relax a bit annd eat at the breakfast bar imstead of the dining table but we strive for home cooked family dinner most nights. I feel like it’s the only time we are all together. The mornings are chaotic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps he just doesn't realize how important this is to you OP.

Men can be quite clueless about things like this.

Why not talk to him directly and let him know that it is very important to you that he sits down with the family and eats dinner with you and the children every evening? If he knows it will mean something to you, he most likely will comply. I do not see why he wouldn't.

A lot of men are just too selfish, not too clueless about family.

How can a normal person think it's fine to not sit down with your family for dinner? It's one thing if you guys have no kids, but it's even more important if you do have kids.

Did he grow up in a broken home or something? Did he even want kids? Is he an otherwise engaged parent and spouse?

My silent, self absorbed spouse and father of one is so because he and his parents are all in the spectrum. They don’t care about sharing and conversating, so don’t.

BINGO! I finally figured it out after 25+ years, three kids. Takes his plate to watch TV. can't wait to eventually divorce.................

[Anonymous]

I never eat at the dinner table and I’m 62. When I was young, meal time was a terrifying experience. I would get punched in the head for slurping, wiping my mouth too much, talking too much, or making a bad face at the food. I was full of anxiety for every meal, and the punches that came out of nowhere made it worse. If I slumped in anxiety I was yelled at for not sitting up straight. I had to stay and eat my meal until it was done, at times I even gagged and I suspect I had arfid. I repressed this trauma until my sister reminded me of it when I told her I don’t ever eat at the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you allow this, OP? I would throw out the chips and hide the iPad. It's disrespectful to you and your daughter.

Bingo… You’re enabling him. If I did that, DW would put a foot in my a$$. 😁

Amen

[Anonymous]

This was my marriage for 10 years. I am divorced.

[Anonymous]

Omg I was just googling this to see how normal it is. My spouse does the same- eats in front of the tv while the rest of us eat. He’s so checked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg I was just googling this to see how normal it is. My spouse does the same- eats in front of the tv while the rest of us eat. He’s so checked out.

Hasn’t anyone told him that’s rude?

The only people I know who do that are mentally ill and hate people or super old and take 2 hours to eat and don’t talk anymore.