Mom Too Busy to Help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's her THIRD child people. She's not going into some unknown territory, she's not on bed rest with some terribly high risk pregnancy, she's a grown woman who made a grown up decision to have a 3rd child knowing full well her husband might not be around.

It's okay to be disappointed that you didn't get you way, but it's time to buck up and stop expecting Mommy to drop her life altogether to tend to a decision that you and your husband made.

To drop her life? What life? Nobody who has a life has time to do worthless library volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call me entitled but I would feel shocked if my mom wouldn't want to come and help her freaking daughter who is birthing her third grandchild because..what? it's her shift at the community library? flower arranging class? WTH? What could she possibly be volunteering with that's more important than family?

I don't get that.

"freaking daughter" is right. Your sense of entitlement is astonishing.

PP you are tone deaf and will end up in a nursing home with no one visiting. I'm not OP.

+1
I think this is the same person over and over again insisting that family is nothing more than a collection of polite acquaintances and
whenever anyone expects anything he is entitled.

Yes- I think that poster is my stepmom .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's her THIRD child people. She's not going into some unknown territory, she's not on bed rest with some terribly high risk pregnancy, she's a grown woman who made a grown up decision to have a 3rd child knowing full well her husband might not be around.

It's okay to be disappointed that you didn't get you way, but it's time to buck up and stop expecting Mommy to drop her life altogether to tend to a decision that you and your husband made.

To drop her life? What life? Nobody who has a life has time to do worthless library volunteering.

Good job! Now you've insulted all the educated people who like to read.

[Anonymous]

Obviously, your mom doesn't want to help and NOT because she has to volunteer at the library. It's just an excuse, you see. People politely say oh, I can't, I'm busy with such and such.

The real reasons probably run deeper. Maybe she's feeling used. Maybe she's tired of helping you all the time. Maybe you're toxic to be around. Maybe your children are too hard to manage. Why don't you ask her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren't there huge networks of social support in the military

Not as much as you would think. It all depends on how long you have been in the ward room or FRG... Also depends on ship and number of wives in ward room. DH's last ship only had 6 married officers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's her THIRD child people. She's not going into some unknown territory, she's not on bed rest with some terribly high risk pregnancy, she's a grown woman who made a grown up decision to have a 3rd child knowing full well her husband might not be around.

It's okay to be disappointed that you didn't get you way, but it's time to buck up and stop expecting Mommy to drop her life altogether to tend to a decision that you and your husband made.

To drop her life? What life? Nobody who has a life has time to do worthless library volunteering.

So what the mom does in her life is worthless? Volunteering is a worthless action and only those that have no life engage in it and they should be able to run to the beck and call of a grown adult daughter who is not in a life or death state because the mom's life is worth less than the wants of a spoiled adult child.

Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call me entitled but I would feel shocked if my mom wouldn't want to come and help her freaking daughter who is birthing her third grandchild because..what? it's her shift at the community library? flower arranging class? WTH? What could she possibly be volunteering with that's more important than family?

I don't get that.

"freaking daughter" is right. Your sense of entitlement is astonishing.

PP you are tone deaf and will end up in a nursing home with no one visiting. I'm not OP.

+1
I think this is the same person over and over again insisting that family is nothing more than a collection of polite acquaintances and
whenever anyone expects anything he is entitled.

Yes- I think that poster is my stepmom .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's her THIRD child people. She's not going into some unknown territory, she's not on bed rest with some terribly high risk pregnancy, she's a grown woman who made a grown up decision to have a 3rd child knowing full well her husband might not be around.

It's okay to be disappointed that you didn't get you way, but it's time to buck up and stop expecting Mommy to drop her life altogether to tend to a decision that you and your husband made.

To drop her life? What life? Nobody who has a life has time to do worthless library volunteering.

So what the mom does in her life is worthless? Volunteering is a worthless action and only those that have no life engage in it and they should be able to run to the beck and call of a grown adult daughter who is not in a life or death state because the mom's life is worth less than the wants of a spoiled adult child.

Got it.

it's not that the mom's life is worth less (??), it's that volunteering has little value. if it had value, it would be paid. OP's mom's life, like that of many retirees, is EMPTY EMPTY EMPTY. they travel, socialize and volunteer - ie they are of no use to anyone. helping family is an opportunity for those people to have some meaning in their lives.. this is why so many grandparents DO want to help.

[Anonymous]

No, volunteering has lots of value. Trust me, your life and your children's lives would be less without volunteers.

I love my grandkids to pieces. Don't know that I'd pop in to watch two kids who more likely than not are as entitled as their mother while a third was arriving---especially if I had already committed to something else I actually wanted to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's her THIRD child people. She's not going into some unknown territory, she's not on bed rest with some terribly high risk pregnancy, she's a grown woman who made a grown up decision to have a 3rd child knowing full well her husband might not be around.

It's okay to be disappointed that you didn't get you way, but it's time to buck up and stop expecting Mommy to drop her life altogether to tend to a decision that you and your husband made.

To drop her life? What life? Nobody who has a life has time to do worthless library volunteering.

So what the mom does in her life is worthless? Volunteering is a worthless action and only those that have no life engage in it and they should be able to run to the beck and call of a grown adult daughter who is not in a life or death state because the mom's life is worth less than the wants of a spoiled adult child.

Got it.

it's not that the mom's life is worth less (??), it's that volunteering has little value. if it had value, it would be paid. OP's mom's life, like that of many retirees, is EMPTY EMPTY EMPTY. they travel, socialize and volunteer - ie they are of no use to anyone. helping family is an opportunity for those people to have some meaning in their lives.. this is why so many grandparents DO want to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's her THIRD child people. She's not going into some unknown territory, she's not on bed rest with some terribly high risk pregnancy, she's a grown woman who made a grown up decision to have a 3rd child knowing full well her husband might not be around.

It's okay to be disappointed that you didn't get you way, but it's time to buck up and stop expecting Mommy to drop her life altogether to tend to a decision that you and your husband made.

To drop her life? What life? Nobody who has a life has time to do worthless library volunteering.

So what the mom does in her life is worthless? Volunteering is a worthless action and only those that have no life engage in it and they should be able to run to the beck and call of a grown adult daughter who is not in a life or death state because the mom's life is worth less than the wants of a spoiled adult child.

Got it.

it's not that the mom's life is worth less (??), it's that volunteering has little value. if it had value, it would be paid. OP's mom's life, like that of many retirees, is EMPTY EMPTY EMPTY. they travel, socialize and volunteer - ie they are of no use to anyone. helping family is an opportunity for those people to have some meaning in their lives.. this is why so many grandparents DO want to help.

Holy shit! This attitude embodies all that is wrong with the DC metro area in one post.

[Anonymous]

OP, why don't you tell us (1) when you asked your mom to come help, and (2) what her volunteer obligation is. Those two things make a big difference in my view, though I also believe that grandparents, like everyone else, has the right simply to say they aren't available to help for any reason they choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's her THIRD child people. She's not going into some unknown territory, she's not on bed rest with some terribly high risk pregnancy, she's a grown woman who made a grown up decision to have a 3rd child knowing full well her husband might not be around.

It's okay to be disappointed that you didn't get you way, but it's time to buck up and stop expecting Mommy to drop her life altogether to tend to a decision that you and your husband made.

To drop her life? What life? Nobody who has a life has time to do worthless library volunteering.

So what the mom does in her life is worthless? Volunteering is a worthless action and only those that have no life engage in it and they should be able to run to the beck and call of a grown adult daughter who is not in a life or death state because the mom's life is worth less than the wants of a spoiled adult child.

Got it.

it's not that the mom's life is worth less (??), it's that volunteering has little value. if it had value, it would be paid. OP's mom's life, like that of many retirees, is EMPTY EMPTY EMPTY. they travel, socialize and volunteer - ie they are of no use to anyone. helping family is an opportunity for those people to have some meaning in their lives.. this is why so many grandparents DO want to help.

(slow whistle) Nice to see how you view the parent volunteers who help out in your child's classroom.

At the end of the day, it does not matter that the activity is without value to you - it has value to OP's mom.

Way I see, I am thrilled that my parents are busy volunterring and such. Because they have full lives independent of me and my family. There are a lot of threads on here about how the elderly parents are always around, not giving space, etc. I do not have that problem and I am glad because of it.

Add to that, my mother was a ES teacher for 40 years. I would be very relectant to ask her to help me with childcare in a non-emergency situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's her THIRD child people. She's not going into some unknown territory, she's not on bed rest with some terribly high risk pregnancy, she's a grown woman who made a grown up decision to have a 3rd child knowing full well her husband might not be around.

It's okay to be disappointed that you didn't get you way, but it's time to buck up and stop expecting Mommy to drop her life altogether to tend to a decision that you and your husband made.

To drop her life? What life? Nobody who has a life has time to do worthless library volunteering.

So what the mom does in her life is worthless? Volunteering is a worthless action and only those that have no life engage in it and they should be able to run to the beck and call of a grown adult daughter who is not in a life or death state because the mom's life is worth less than the wants of a spoiled adult child.

Got it.

it's not that the mom's life is worth less (??), it's that volunteering has little value. if it had value, it would be paid. OP's mom's life, like that of many retirees, is EMPTY EMPTY EMPTY. they travel, socialize and volunteer - ie they are of no use to anyone. helping family is an opportunity for those people to have some meaning in their lives.. this is why so many grandparents DO want to help.

(slow whistle) Nice to see how you view the parent volunteers who help out in your child's classroom.

At the end of the day, it does not matter that the activity is without value to you - it has value to OP's mom.

Way I see, I am thrilled that my parents are busy volunterring and such. Because they have full lives independent of me and my family. There are a lot of threads on here about how the elderly parents are always around, not giving space, etc. I do not have that problem and I am glad because of it.

Add to that, my mother was a ES teacher for 40 years. I would be very relectant to ask her to help me with childcare in a non-emergency situation.

.

I am not denying that it has value for OPs mom, just that it is in fact no value to society. When society values something it pays for it. I find it funny when people here live on ramen noodles, no cable, used clthes etc, their whole lives in order to be able to retire only to then start pursuing pointless pretend-work on order to feel valuable.

I don't believe that grandparents should be baby sitting regularly but this is pretty close to emergency situation. Certainly it's not something that happens every day. I am a working mom as my mom was before me and I absolutely do not think think that all parents' needs should be subservient to children. But people here leave important business meetings in order to attent some worthless kindergarten play (or stop working altogether) and then, 20 years later, can't be there for the birth of a grandchild because they can't skip their reading group meeting. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's her THIRD child people. She's not going into some unknown territory, she's not on bed rest with some terribly high risk pregnancy, she's a grown woman who made a grown up decision to have a 3rd child knowing full well her husband might not be around.

It's okay to be disappointed that you didn't get you way, but it's time to buck up and stop expecting Mommy to drop her life altogether to tend to a decision that you and your husband made.

To drop her life? What life? Nobody who has a life has time to do worthless library volunteering.

So what the mom does in her life is worthless? Volunteering is a worthless action and only those that have no life engage in it and they should be able to run to the beck and call of a grown adult daughter who is not in a life or death state because the mom's life is worth less than the wants of a spoiled adult child.

Got it.

it's not that the mom's life is worth less (??), it's that volunteering has little value. if it had value, it would be paid. OP's mom's life, like that of many retirees, is EMPTY EMPTY EMPTY. they travel, socialize and volunteer - ie they are of no use to anyone. helping family is an opportunity for those people to have some meaning in their lives.. this is why so many grandparents DO want to help.

Is this a troll post? Hard to believe someone out there is stupid enough to write this.