Reply to Guys, how do you feel when she says no?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I accepted "no"s with grace for a long time. It's o.k., she's pregnant. That's rough. It's o.k., we just had a baby, her body is out of whack. It's o.k., chasing a toddler around all the time is tiring. Eight or nine years after the first pregnancy, when we got the youngest child into school full time, and our sex life was down to [b]once every 3 - 6 weeks[/b], her reasons were fading away.

Ditching her IUD and her making an effort to make our sex life a priority has actually made a ton of difference. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't been so understanding. [/quote]

Yes, too long.  I'm the one who says "no" when I'm really really not interested.  3 - 6 weeks is way too long.  I would be wondering what the hell is wrong with us.  I agree totally that the relationship has to be a priority.[/quote]

You know, it was gradual. Initially we were at 2-3x/week. Then 1x/week, then 1x/10 days, then twice a month. At one point, I realized we'd gone 2 months without sex, and the alarm bells rang. I told her that it was a problem and we had to work on our sex life. She got sad, and talked about feeling bad about being an inadequate wife. Then when I pressed more aggressively for more frequent sex, she complained that she felt pressured and that made her feel like not having sex with me. But, once we figured out the IUD was probably messing with her hormones and got it out, it's not like we started having hot monkey sex. But, after that, I was able to keep sex on the radar without being obnoxious about it. We're back to once a week. And, if I try to have sex a second time in a week and she says "no" sometimes, it's not that big a deal -- because I know that we'll get back at it in a few days, as opposed to wondering if it's going to be weeks. [/quote]

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