Gay man who adopted a child: Ask me Anything

[Anonymous]

What are your childcare plans while you work?

Are you debt free?

If something happens to you, who would you want to raise your daughter?

Has she ever met someone you have dated?

How often do you go out at night and leave her w/a sitter/someone else?

Since you mentioned privacy (related to the bookstore incident), at what age would you be comfortable with her telling others her dad is gay?

Are you flamboyant?

Are your pants narrowly tailored?

How much are your most expensive pair of shoes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have 3 year old twin boys with my wife. If someone asks them where their daddy is, they say "I have a mama and a mommy." If the questioner is lucky, they'll let them off with that, but sometimes they get interrogated about whether or not they have grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. The boys love to talk about all different families.

Also, you might want to join Rainbow Families DC, they do neat outings for kids and grownups too!

Thanks for the tips!

[Anonymous]

What are your childcare plans while you work? I hired a nanny.

Are you debt free? Except for a mortgage, yes.

If something happens to you, who would you want to raise your daughter? Her godparents.

Has she ever met someone you have dated? Yes, when we've run into each other on the street and at the airport.

How often do you go out at night and leave her w/a sitter/someone else? Twice a week regularly.

Since you mentioned privacy (related to the bookstore incident), at what age would you be comfortable with her telling others her dad is gay? Her telling people I'm gay is a non-issue. I'm out. She could tell people now (though she doesn't know). The distinction is having people manipulate a child into giving up information they're curious about that's none of their business.

Are you flamboyant? I've had my moments. We're not talking pink socks on the regular though. I'm more nuanced than the stereotypes. So I get manicures, but can change the oil on a car too.

Are your pants narrowly tailored? I'm not shy about owning a couple of pairs of skinny jeans. And skinny dress pants

How much are your most expensive pair of shoes? Big fan of Prada, Cucinelli, Ferragamo, but via Blufly mostly which keeps things under $1k.

[takoma]

You have mentioned dating. Has your daughter come up as a topic of conversation? If so, how did it go?

[Anonymous]

Who is teaching you to do her hair?

[Anonymous]

I think I want to help co parent your DD! PP here...

How do you dress your daughter?

You are from the South, Honey - is she in smocked boutique dresses? The bigger the bow, the better the Daddy! Lots of monograms? Lily?

Or, do you dress her in a Hot Mess Style a la Angelina Joile's children? Please, no! Anything goes? Stripes, messy hair, boy shoes?

Clearly defined gender specific clothes?

Licensed characters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married straight lady developing a slight crush on OP?

No, no you are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married straight lady developing a slight crush on OP?

No, no you are not.

10:23 here...and I previously told him that he sounds hot and that I like nurturing types. Back off!

I'm picturing Will from Will and Grace...yummy!

OK, OP...ever interested in straight women? Do you look at attractive women and wonder...? Do women hit on you? Are you a heartbreaker? Is there a female celeb you think is hot/you'd get to know biblically?

[Anonymous]

Is your daughter part black?

[Anonymous]

FYI, All Souls Unitiarian in DC (Columbia Heights) has lots of gay and lesbian parents and good kids' programming. I think it's far enough away from Southern Baptist that it wouldn't bring up bad memories.

[Anonymous]

takoma wrote:You have mentioned dating. Has your daughter come up as a topic of conversation? If so, how did it go?

In two instances the guys knew, because I was introduced through mutual friends who told them. In one, I met a guy when she and I were out with the dog and then ran into him again, so he knew. In a few other cases it doesn't come up. If it's still in the casual area I haven't brought it up, and I haven't felt seriously about anyone enough to.

I'm not worried about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is teaching you to do her hair?

The nanny. Youtube videos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I want to help co parent your DD! PP here...

How do you dress your daughter? in regular clothes. Gap for staples mostly. she wears little baby Chucks.

You are from the South, Honey - is she in smocked boutique dresses? The bigger the bow, the better the Daddy! Lots of monograms? Lily? lol, no. We moved out of the South - it's enough that my accent gives it away. i got her a burberry christmas dress last year that she wore to three different christmas parties (none of the same people). nothing monogrammed.

Or, do you dress her in a Hot Mess Style a la Angelina Joile's children? Please, no! Anything goes? Stripes, messy hair, boy shoes? no. she looks firmly like a girl. though she does sometimes wear stripes.

Clearly defined gender specific clothes? some clothes could be unisex i suppose, but we always shop in the girl section for her.

Licensed characters?

f-no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter part black?

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married straight lady developing a slight crush on OP?

No, no you are not.

10:23 here...and I previously told him that he sounds hot and that I like nurturing types. Back off!

I'm picturing Will from Will and Grace...yummy!

OK, OP...ever interested in straight women? Do you look at attractive women and wonder...? Do women hit on you? Are you a heartbreaker? Is there a female celeb you think is hot/you'd get to know biblically?

Lol, I'm flattered, but ... no. I look at an attractive woman and sometimes think, "Good for you, honey!" But I never want to sleep with them. I want to hear all about their best dates with someone they had a huge crush on, and maybe gab with them while they do their makeup and hair before the date.
Women flirt with me every once in a while. If they do I make it clear I'm batting for the other team, and try to let them down the way I'd want someone to let me down.