Gay man who adopted a child: Ask me Anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married straight lady developing a slight crush on OP?

No, no you are not.

10:23 here...and I previously told him that he sounds hot and that I like nurturing types. Back off!

I'm picturing Will from Will and Grace...yummy!

OK, OP...ever interested in straight women? Do you look at attractive women and wonder...? Do women hit on you? Are you a heartbreaker? Is there a female celeb you think is hot/you'd get to know biblically?

Lol, I'm flattered, but ... no. I look at an attractive woman and sometimes think, "Good for you, honey!" But I never want to sleep with them. I want to hear all about their best dates with someone they had a huge crush on, and maybe gab with them while they do their makeup and hair before the date.
Women flirt with me every once in a while. If they do I make it clear I'm batting for the other team, and try to let them down the way I'd want someone to let me down.

Are you for real OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you plan to handle things like periods, bra shopping, first boyfriends (basically all of the things my DH is terrified of when it comes to our DD), etc..

Same way I plan to handle everything. We'll talk about it, we'll read books about it, and if needed, we'll pull in "experts." I grew up with two sisters; I'm not afraid of a little bra talk.

Ah, okay, that makes sense. But do you feel like it may be beneficial to have adult female figures that she can talk to about these and other things? Teenage girls seem to tend to be less than receptive when it comes to talking to dad about some things. or maybe that's what you meant by "experts"..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married straight lady developing a slight crush on OP?

No, no you are not.

10:23 here...and I previously told him that he sounds hot and that I like nurturing types. Back off!

I'm picturing Will from Will and Grace...yummy!

OK, OP...ever interested in straight women? Do you look at attractive women and wonder...? Do women hit on you? Are you a heartbreaker? Is there a female celeb you think is hot/you'd get to know biblically?

Lol, I'm flattered, but ... no. I look at an attractive woman and sometimes think, "Good for you, honey!" But I never want to sleep with them. I want to hear all about their best dates with someone they had a huge crush on, and maybe gab with them while they do their makeup and hair before the date.
Women flirt with me every once in a while. If they do I make it clear I'm batting for the other team, and try to let them down the way I'd want someone to let me down.

Are you for real OP?

Sure. Who doesn't cheer on confidence combined with know-how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married straight lady developing a slight crush on OP?

nope +1 AND i'm black too... so i prob have no chance!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you plan to handle things like periods, bra shopping, first boyfriends (basically all of the things my DH is terrified of when it comes to our DD), etc..

Same way I plan to handle everything. We'll talk about it, we'll read books about it, and if needed, we'll pull in "experts." I grew up with two sisters; I'm not afraid of a little bra talk.

even your sisters let someone as cool as you go? man. their loss. i think you rock!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are your childcare plans while you work? I hired a nanny.

Are you debt free? Except for a mortgage, yes.

If something happens to you, who would you want to raise your daughter? Her godparents.

Has she ever met someone you have dated? Yes, when we've run into each other on the street and at the airport.

How often do you go out at night and leave her w/a sitter/someone else? Twice a week regularly.

Since you mentioned privacy (related to the bookstore incident), at what age would you be comfortable with her telling others her dad is gay? Her telling people I'm gay is a non-issue. I'm out. She could tell people now (though she doesn't know). The distinction is having people manipulate a child into giving up information they're curious about that's none of their business.

Are you flamboyant? I've had my moments. We're not talking pink socks on the regular though. I'm more nuanced than the stereotypes. So I get manicures, but can change the oil on a car too.

Are your pants narrowly tailored? I'm not shy about owning a couple of pairs of skinny jeans. And skinny dress pants

How much are your most expensive pair of shoes? Big fan of Prada, Cucinelli, Ferragamo, but via Blufly mostly which keeps things under $1k.

Do you feel guilty going out 2x/week?

Is your nanny live in?

Do you ever spent the night at a date's house since you became a parent and, if so, did you know ahead of time?

Have you sought out a mate on an online site?

Do you have casual sex?

Would you buy your daughter shoes that are $1k?

Would most people think you are gay who don't know you that well?

Would you dissuade your daughter from wearing crocs as she got older?

What do you do with your daughter's outgrown items? (And your expensive items when you are done with them)?

Did you pass the bar the first time?

Have you had sex with someone and regretted it?

When was the last time you were really in love?

What tv shows do you watch (list at least 3)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you plan to handle things like periods, bra shopping, first boyfriends (basically all of the things my DH is terrified of when it comes to our DD), etc..

Same way I plan to handle everything. We'll talk about it, we'll read books about it, and if needed, we'll pull in "experts." I grew up with two sisters; I'm not afraid of a little bra talk.

Ah, okay, that makes sense. But do you feel like it may be beneficial to have adult female figures that she can talk to about these and other things? Teenage girls seem to tend to be less than receptive when it comes to talking to dad about some things. or maybe that's what you meant by "experts"..

I took on being a single parent prepared to handle everything that will come up, in each stage of childhood. So if that means I need to figure out how to explain how to use a tampon, I will. To me, part of being prepared means having a few other people as backup in whatever ways are needed at different stages of childhood. I have guy friends and girl friends, and my daughter will be welcome to go ask for help from one of my girl friends (or one of her friends' moms if that's who she chooses) if she's more comfortable talking with them than me about things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is so little that celebrating a gotcha day doesn't mean much to her yet, but I definitely treat us to celebrate her making me a dad and us a family, and me keeping a human being alive.

Guess you couldn't quite shake that Southern Baptist upbringing entirely!

i thought he meant literally keeping someone born alive not a pro-life thing. i pat myself on the back reguarly for keeping my kid alive

[Anonymous]

Do you feel guilty going out 2x/week? Nope. One night a week is a standing basketball game. On that day my nanny starts later in the day while I "work from home" in the morning so she stays later than the other days. One night a week I trade babysitting with a neighbor. On Friday nights I go out and they watch my daughter, and Saturday nights they go out and I watch theirs.

Is your nanny live in? No. I think that might be uncomfortable for all adults involved.

Do you ever spent the night at a date's house since you became a parent and, if so, did you know ahead of time? I haven't.

Have you sought out a mate on an online site? No.

Do you have casual sex? I have.

Would you buy your daughter shoes that are $1k? I ... wow, I don't know. Maybe when her feet stop growing? then on milestone birthdays or something. We'll see. Right now she cries hysterically any time I try to make her try on shoes in a shoe store, so it's hard to imagine her liking shoe shopping.

Would most people think you are gay who don't know you that well? If they have decent gaydar they will probably pick it up by the second time we hang out. I've worked with some people for months and then had them ask why I showed up to a company Christmas party with a guy, saying, "Isn't that a little gay?" and I've had to watch them get all flustered as I confirm, "Yes, it's totally gay." Then you get to watch them think back on all the offensive things they've said and wonder if you remember them.

Would you dissuade your daughter from wearing crocs as she got older? Ugh those clumpy shoes. So ugly. She'll never be allowed.

What do you do with your daughter's outgrown items? (And your expensive items when you are done with them)? One of my daughter's friends from the neighborhood has a sister about 7 months younger than my girl is, so I let that mom know when I've rotated out clothes. The kids will come over to play and she'll go through to pick out what she wants. Then I donate the rest.

Did you pass the bar the first time? yes, all three bars.

Have you had sex with someone and regretted it? no. well, once. being someone's first can really go horribly wrong sometimes.

When was the last time you were really in love? in law school.

What tv shows do you watch (list at least 3)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is so little that celebrating a gotcha day doesn't mean much to her yet, but I definitely treat us to celebrate her making me a dad and us a family, and me keeping a human being alive.

Guess you couldn't quite shake that Southern Baptist upbringing entirely!

i thought he meant literally keeping someone born alive not a pro-life thing. i pat myself on the back reguarly for keeping my kid alive

Yes, that's what I meant.

[Anonymous]

I forgot to list the three shows.
1. Jeff Lewis.
2. Million Dollar Listing, LA
3. A nice Katie Couric interview is always good, as is Kathy Griffin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I forgot to list the three shows.
1. Jeff Lewis.
2. Million Dollar Listing, LA
3. A nice Katie Couric interview is always good, as is Kathy Griffin.

Have you seen Frederic's porn movie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I forgot to list the three shows.
1. Jeff Lewis.
2. Million Dollar Listing, LA
3. A nice Katie Couric interview is always good, as is Kathy Griffin.

Have you seen Frederic's porn movie?

NO! I'm totally going to look into this tonight though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is so little that celebrating a gotcha day doesn't mean much to her yet, but I definitely treat us to celebrate her making me a dad and us a family, and me keeping a human being alive.

Guess you couldn't quite shake that Southern Baptist upbringing entirely!

i thought he meant literally keeping someone born alive not a pro-life thing. i pat myself on the back reguarly for keeping my kid alive

Yes, that's what I meant.

Oh, yay! Now I'm back on board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I forgot to list the three shows.
1. Jeff Lewis.
2. Million Dollar Listing, LA
3. A nice Katie Couric interview is always good, as is Kathy Griffin.

Have you seen Frederic's porn movie?

NO! I'm totally going to look into this tonight though.

Ha ha - Please report back what you think after you do! Who would you want to 'do' - Frederick, Luis or Ryan? (Heck - throw Frederick's fiancé in as a choice too).