How to say no to family members who want to stay at our house when we're not here -- white lie?

[Anonymous]

This thread is two years old.

[Anonymous]

I totally understand, just say no, I like living along with my family. I love you too. but I'm most happy, and comfortable when its just us.
when a disagreement breaks out and believe me it will
you will say things that you cant take back. so to save the love in the family just say no

[Anonymous]

This thread is three years old.

[Anonymous]

This thread is so old, Kevin Spacey has lost interest.

[Anonymous]

Getting house painted while you're gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:totally need to make up a white lie...

Why?

I don’t want anyone in my house when I’m not there. It’s unreasonable to assume it’s ok.

Plus there is this thing called a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Just claim you are going a small sail boat trip...
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/27/us/women-lost-at-sea-rescued-navy-trnd/index.html

[Anonymous]

Good lord, simply tell them , "not this time.". No explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, simply tell them , "not this time.". No explanation.

Or tell them this thread is 4 years old. (A tip, read at least a couple of responses before you post)

[Anonymous]

I think if it is someone in your family that has taken care of you, like a parent or sibling, then you owe it to them, even if it gets you out of your comfort zone. Sometimes doing the right thing isn't comfortable, but it shows gratitude and integrity. Get over yourself and be kind and generous, especially if it is a member of your family.
Jesus captures radical hospitality in Luke 14:12-14 – “He said also to the man who had invited him, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”
or if Jesus isn't your go to then try Taoism: Relieve people in distress as speedily as you must release a fish from a dry rill [lest he die]. Deliver people from danger as quickly as you must free a sparrow from a tight noose. Be compassionate to orphans and relieve widows. Respect the old and help the poor.
~Taoism. Tract of the Quiet Way
Basically, every spiritual practice teaches generosity and hospitality. But, some people will be egocentric, no matter how well they are taught.

[Anonymous]

Basically, don't say no. Say, I'm lucky to have family, love you!

[Anonymous]

This is a six year old post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if it is someone in your family that has taken care of you, like a parent or sibling, then you owe it to them, even if it gets you out of your comfort zone. Sometimes doing the right thing isn't comfortable, but it shows gratitude and integrity. Get over yourself and be kind and generous, especially if it is a member of your family.
Jesus captures radical hospitality in Luke 14:12-14 – “He said also to the man who had invited him, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”
or if Jesus isn't your go to then try Taoism: Relieve people in distress as speedily as you must release a fish from a dry rill [lest he die]. Deliver people from danger as quickly as you must free a sparrow from a tight noose. Be compassionate to orphans and relieve widows. Respect the old and help the poor.
~Taoism. Tract of the Quiet Way
Basically, every spiritual practice teaches generosity and hospitality. But, some people will be egocentric, no matter how well they are taught.

I wish more spiritual practices taught to not resurrect a 6 year old thread...

[Anonymous]

I would not let people stay at my house when I'm not home unless I trusted them 100%. Last year we found out after the fact that a very unpleasant passive aggressive niece who said she didn't want to go sightseeing had actually stayed home and had gone rummaging through our draws.

Sometimes you can't even trust family.

For those who I trust 100% I would let them stay in my home if I were not home, but if I had any suspicions whatsoever the answer were old simply be NO.

[Anonymous]

I remove some things from my house before certain family visits. It's a pain but I just don't feel its possible to refuse to have them stay. On the other hand I don't want my good jewelry, art, wine and silver on display.
Personally, I would be honest with these relations about your concerns. Put bedspreads or quilts on furniture, leave coasters out and ask them to do laundry and make up beds before they depart. It will serve you now and also later when they visit with you in residence.