My sister sucks

[Anonymous]

My parents have dogs. My sister has dogs. I taught our dd from day one that when we go to their houses, the dogs live there and everybody must behave appropriately. If your kids are "deathly afraid" of anything, please get them help. That sort of fear is not healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I asked several times what their plans were for Saturday. I got general non-committal "Don't know yet, we haven't decided."

My family went on an outing by ourselves and had a blast. Our plan was to get back together on Sunday evening with my parents, sister, and her husband for a cook-out at our house. On Saturday afternoon, my mom called and asked what time they should arrive on Sunday. I told them to plan to come by between 2-3 so we could hang out a little before dinner. On Sunday morning, my sister called to ask us if we needed any food for the cook out (no, we had everything, told her we'd see them by 3). At 2:30 on Sunday, my dad called and asked what the plan was, as they had just gotten out of a movie and hadn't eaten lunch yet.

They all went out to lunch together and got to my house by 4:30, and obviously were not hungry for a cook-out. We just went ahead and grilled for ourselves and the kids and chatted pleasantly with them until they left a few hours later.

Lesson learned.

Just reinforces my thought that it's your parents that sound off. Doesn't sound like they want to be with their grandkids that much, which sounds weird and sad (for them). And why would your mom, if she knew you were having a cookout, let the family go to a big lunch??? Could she not just say, after the movie let's pick up appetizer type things to munch on and hang out with you guys before dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I asked several times what their plans were for Saturday. I got general non-committal "Don't know yet, we haven't decided."

My family went on an outing by ourselves and had a blast. Our plan was to get back together on Sunday evening with my parents, sister, and her husband for a cook-out at our house. On Saturday afternoon, my mom called and asked what time they should arrive on Sunday. I told them to plan to come by between 2-3 so we could hang out a little before dinner. On Sunday morning, my sister called to ask us if we needed any food for the cook out (no, we had everything, told her we'd see them by 3). At 2:30 on Sunday, my dad called and asked what the plan was, as they had just gotten out of a movie and hadn't eaten lunch yet.

They all went out to lunch together and got to my house by 4:30, and obviously were not hungry for a cook-out. We just went ahead and grilled for ourselves and the kids and chatted pleasantly with them until they left a few hours later.

Lesson learned.

Just reinforces my thought that it's your parents that sound off. Doesn't sound like they want to be with their grandkids that much, which sounds weird and sad (for them). And why would your mom, if she knew you were having a cookout, let the family go to a big lunch??? Could she not just say, after the movie let's pick up appetizer type things to munch on and hang out with you guys before dinner?

I can answer this based on my own experience. I have a sister who hosts dinners and lunches at her house. Her idea of "dinner" and "enough food" is simply not the same as pretty much every one else. When I go to her house for a meal, I know to feed my child beforehand and have a snack myself. Whatever she serves isn't going to consitute a meal and it will be served several hours after I arrive. She will put out a bowl of grapes for 20 people and call it an appetizer.... I am sure the OP will say they had enough food, blah, blah, blah but I know from experience that my sister would also say the same so my feeling her is the family knew better and they came to OPs house prepared...

[Anonymous]

My mom visits us for about a week every month. We have an au pair and the kids are in school part-time. She does not come to provide childcare, but to see us. And yet, after 5 days of visiting she is EXHAUSTED. Isn't it possible your mother doesn't WANT to get up at 6 for a 6th day in a row? And she thinks that if she's at your house and you are going to pay her you are entitled to choose her hours. Maybe she needs a break (taking care of kids full time for an entire week is difficult, especially when you are out of practice) and is afraid to tell you.

[Anonymous]

not many people here will feel for you, because they are just like your sister!! But your sister sounds like a brat, hope you work it out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first thought on reading OPs post was, jealous much? On both sides. She has a week with her mom and is whining that her sister gets 2.5 days. And the child-less sister has issues as well. Planning a vacation after you've agreed to do child care when your sister is giving birth! I'd be pretty damn pissed about this. And those feelings can be carried over into the present situation, which seems perfectly reasonable to me on the part of the sister and mom.

Some families just can't talk about things like this. I'd say most families can't. There are so many deeply buried issues, slights from childhood, perceived unequal treatment, etc., that carry on into adulthood. Often, as adults we are unaware that those feelings are governing our current behavior.

My SIL acted similarly to OP's sister before she had kids. She was unkind to say the least, bringing foods to family dinners that DS was allergic to, planning outings that were totally inappropriate for young children. But post-kids, she's really no different, even though now she understands how difficult it is to manage small children.


This is the root of so many family problems, not talking, not communicating

[Anonymous]

I used to get all worked up over the fact that my mom, my SIL and my MIL did not want to watch my precious little children! Then my husband said "It is no one's responsibility to take care of our kids, but us". I got a great babysitter, and a substitute babysitter, and never looked back. Now the kids see their grandparents and aunt and uncles and just have fun with them.

[Anonymous]

I find it weird that OP posts about family things leaving out her sister but complains when her sister leaves her out. My brother and I stopped this type of rivalry when we were 10. Grow up. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

I can answer this based on my own experience. I have a sister who hosts dinners and lunches at her house. Her idea of "dinner" and "enough food" is simply not the same as pretty much every one else. When I go to her house for a meal, I know to feed my child beforehand and have a snack myself. Whatever she serves isn't going to consitute a meal and it will be served several hours after I arrive. She will put out a bowl of grapes for 20 people and call it an appetizer.... I am sure the OP will say they had enough food, blah, blah, blah but I know from experience that my sister would also say the same so my feeling her is the family knew better and they came to OPs house prepared...

How can you POSSIBLY know this? I've seen some ridiculous projecting on DCUM before, but this takes the cake.