Why so many single men not interested in dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For 35 plus and divorced men, flirting and asking someone out is really high stakes stuff. Most people are at work at that stage in life, which is where you meet people. But if a man gets that wrong and gets shot down for a coffee, that can be pretty darn devastating for careers and the work environment. So most men won't engage with colleagues these days.

So that leaves online, which has its issues.

If looking for a partner, I don't think this is a man or woman issue. We don't seem to have neutral third spaces where people can meet each other organically. But the costs are much higher for men who choose to flirt these days. So any man that has professional ambitions shuts that down. The risk-reward calculation is very unfavorable. Even when they really like someone. Don't go there is what every ambitious man has internalized.

And the apps are garbage these days. So, many men are checked out. Not because they don't want to meet a partner, but because there are few healthy and interesting ways to get to know someone in a non-dating context.

So men choose careers where they have no time after work and then whine about not having time to meet women. Got it. If everyone refused to work 60 hour weeks, 3 employees would have to do the work currently done by w employees, and these men would have more time. But nope, men want to work "hard" because money is e erything. Yet money cannot buy them partners. Poor men. Booboo!

Men believe “money is everything” because women tell them money is everything.

There are countless examples, as you know. Countless.

Here is an older one: Have you seen this?

"an older one" "have you seen this" - if you haven't seen or know this video I don't know what to tell you LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lack of feminine women is a disincentive. No man wants to get involved with a nutty liberal feminist. Those who do are settling for lack of better options. Yes DCUM this means you. You'll never find out how your whipped husbands feel because they are not allowed to have their own opinions.

On any weekend in the DC suburbs, I often see male/female couples out in public together, but it’s nearly impossible to distinguish the woman from the man as far as clothing and other aspects of her appearance.

That type of women’s behavior happens far less in Europe. It’s less frequent in most parts of the world.

What the hell are you taking about? I find American women very feminine. In fact, the way women here take on the household responsibilities and excuse their husbands/boyfriends behavior is quite interesting to see. I'm front West Africa. In my country at least, the women who are as educated as American women are extremely masculine and very independent. I always find it weird and bizarre when some men in this country think women from other countries are mode "docile". You will be surprised lol!

To each their own, but I find American women very sexy, beautiful and gorgeous..and they are not afraid to embrace their feminity.

Maybe we live in different universes within the same country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm seeing a lot of men over 35 who have never been married, have no kids and/or are divorced, but have no interest whatsoever in dating. And there is nothing wrong with these men. They are employed, their mental health is okay, they just want to remain single. Why??

They aren’t interested in women available to them, rather stay single avoiding unnecessary expense and headache.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't hekp when women constantly state that their minimum requirement is 6 foot tall and 200K (preferable more) income per year and between the ages of 25 and 35. That is only about 150,000 men in the US who meet the minimum eligibility requirements for all women.

Maybe adjust your age setting and check what women your own age are looking for. Then you can find an equal partner - alternate paying for dates, building a great connection not just sexual one etc. Why do you even put so much stress on sex and appearance, in your own words, your T levels are low? Just enjoy a normal human connection. Looks fade anyways over time

So women shouldn't need to change their preferences, but men should?

I date the likes: men of my own age group , looks and income.
You want to date much younger women . Maybe change your self assessment, self acceptance, acceptance of your own aging and why you think you should look attractive to much younger people

You sound self-centered. Maybe men and women don't have the same preferences. And maybe not all women have the same preferences as you.

How is that self centered dating equals ? If you want to date someone who has an asset that valuable to you that you don’t have (age, looks etc) then you need to pay up
As I clearly showed you the investment required to buy a hot young educated woman is $10 million in future divorce settlement to her , legally framed as trust to her at the time of marriage.
Young women are smart they on average make more than the men their own age group and would only date and marry much older men for real assets of interest to them

So you have totally unrealistic expectations of what you bring to table.

I have realistic expectations and have no problems finding relationships, was married for 20 years to a high profile man so my algorithm does work.

Same age=partnership based relationship

Much older man = transactional relationship

+10 million

USD of course

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The milk is free, why buy it?

I recently read a rebuttal for this. “ If sausage is free, why buy it.”

Only emotionally stupid equate a healthy, loving and caring relationship to free milk or sausage.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if singledom operates like a contagion. If everyone you know is married, every time you go out everyone is married, remaining single is probably not very attractive. Your friends will have spouses and won't have much time to hang with you. It will be difficult to find dates because everyone else is married. Lots of people probably got married in the past because everyone was doing it. Some of it is peer pressure, but some of it is who wants to be the only single person when everyone is coupled up?

OTHOH, once singledom reaches a critical mass, you'll easily find other single friends, easily find other singles to date (even if this isn't perfect), find activities with other single people, etc.

I think we have reached a critical mass of singledom where people feel less peer pressure to get married, and single life is not as isolating as it was decades ago.

[Anonymous]

I’ve three really good looking and accomplished nephews between 29-34 with no issues or baggage but they only want to date organically not through apps or match makers hence rarely date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine yourself as a balanced, 35 year old man with a job, apartment, and car.

Option 1: go home to a quiet apartment and be able to pursue hobbies and passion projects freely.

Option 2: spend a ton of money on another person who talks too much, requires expensive upkeep, removes the peace from his environment, takes time away from hobbies.

Yeah ……….

And demand 6 6 6 because they deserve that …

This is unfortunately a fair point.

[Anonymous]

As a married man I find this thread very interesting with different viewpoints. I feel like I hit the jackpot with my wife. I am 48 and she is 39.. She helped me grow in ways I can't even describe.

If I may have an opinion, I think it has to do with information overload. Then you will argue why doesn't it apply to women since they are similarly overloaded.

We have twins boy/girl. The boy gets extremely disinterested in everything but his video games. His sister meanwhile call her friend, watch a show, practice some dance move, and "bother me" (I love it) while during the same hours her brother is playing video games. And the results are evident in school as well. My daughter is in averaging 98% in every subject while her brother is just average. They are both 13. We had him tested, but nothing came out of it. If it continues we may seek a different opinion. Someone told me it maybe ADHD/autism.

I played video games as well. But I also played basketball outside. I was outside for hours riding my bike doing stupid stuff with my friends in the neighborhood etc. I don't see a lot of it in the suburbs where you would think it's safer. I grew up in Queens and the kids are still have the same experience I have had. Maybe it's regional. Maybe in different part of the country we don't see as many single men.

I don't know. If you are single man, don't give up on pursing a relationship. It may change your life in a positive way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The milk is free, why buy it?

The phrase is old, why use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't hekp when women constantly state that their minimum requirement is 6 foot tall and 200K (preferable more) income per year and between the ages of 25 and 35. That is only about 150,000 men in the US who meet the minimum eligibility requirements for all women.

Maybe adjust your age setting and check what women your own age are looking for. Then you can find an equal partner - alternate paying for dates, building a great connection not just sexual one etc. Why do you even put so much stress on sex and appearance, in your own words, your T levels are low? Just enjoy a normal human connection. Looks fade anyways over time

So women shouldn't need to change their preferences, but men should?

I date the likes: men of my own age group , looks and income.
You want to date much younger women . Maybe change your self assessment, self acceptance, acceptance of your own aging and why you think you should look attractive to much younger people

You sound self-centered. Maybe men and women don't have the same preferences. And maybe not all women have the same preferences as you.

How is that self centered dating equals ? If you want to date someone who has an asset that valuable to you that you don’t have (age, looks etc) then you need to pay up
As I clearly showed you the investment required to buy a hot young educated woman is $10 million in future divorce settlement to her , legally framed as trust to her at the time of marriage.
Young women are smart they on average make more than the men their own age group and would only date and marry much older men for real assets of interest to them

So you have totally unrealistic expectations of what you bring to table.

I have realistic expectations and have no problems finding relationships, was married for 20 years to a high profile man so my algorithm does work.

Same age=partnership based relationship

Much older man = transactional relationship

You're doing it again, where you're notion of "equal" can only be based upon your value judgements. You can't see past your own nose. You are self-centered.

I mean, a 27 yo objectively is not an equal to a 41 yo man. Your dating experience/lack of options should have already taught you this. You are single. I’m not single throughout my life just like most people who date and marry partners of about same age

So you are a social “outcast” in a way thinking that somehow a 27 yo woman who makes 150k would be an equal to a 41 yo veteran male making 150k. That’s not even close! She’s an equal with a hedge fund manager who makes a few million a year

Yup. You seem very set in your ways and think your ways are THE way. Says enough about you. Enjoy.

Her ways are THE way. Make fast friends with your left hand.

[Anonymous]

My son got married last summer..he had 8 groomsmen. My son is 31. I don't know the ages of all the groomsmen, but they are around his age. I know 4 are definitely single because they are my son's closest friends. To make a long story short tell me why none of those guys approached any of the women that were equally single??

I think men are suffering from anxiety probably more than we want to admit. And if that's the case we need fix it asap because our society still operates on the "male protector" mindset. We can't hand our "protection " due to a bunch of anxious people who can't admit they are.

A lot of men today can't even make eye contact, they wouldn't know how to approach a woman and find something about her that they instantly like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lack of feminine women is a disincentive. No man wants to get involved with a nutty liberal feminist. Those who do are settling for lack of better options. Yes DCUM this means you. You'll never find out how your whipped husbands feel because they are not allowed to have their own opinions.

On any weekend in the DC suburbs, I often see male/female couples out in public together, but it’s nearly impossible to distinguish the woman from the man as far as clothing and other aspects of her appearance.

That type of women’s behavior happens far less in Europe. It’s less frequent in most parts of the world.

What the hell are you taking about? I find American women very feminine. In fact, the way women here take on the household responsibilities and excuse their husbands/boyfriends behavior is quite interesting to see. I'm front West Africa. In my country at least, the women who are as educated as American women are extremely masculine and very independent. I always find it weird and bizarre when some men in this country think women from other countries are mode "docile". You will be surprised lol!

To each their own, but I find American women very sexy, beautiful and gorgeous..and they are not afraid to embrace their feminity.

Maybe we live in different universes within the same country.

You seem to have confused “femininity” with American feminism.

[Anonymous]

All you need to know is the degree of underemployment, voluntary unemployment, alcoholism and suicide rate of middle aged men. These people are single for a reason. This is one of reason that a lot people don't want to talk about when it comes to women who are accomplished but can't find a suitable man.

The math just doesn't work. The gap between college grad women and college grad men is widening. Then women have to choose from this cohort an even smaller number of men who are mentally stable.

It may not feel that way when everyone around you is engaged/married/dating etc. it's because you may not also realize your circle is even smaller because it consists of the subset of those men who are worthy of dating in the first place.

A 35 years old woman today is not single by choice. The odds are just not in her favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The lack of feminine women is a disincentive. No man wants to get involved with a nutty liberal feminist. Those who do are settling for lack of better options. Yes DCUM this means you. You'll never find out how your whipped husbands feel because they are not allowed to have their own opinions.

On any weekend in the DC suburbs, I often see male/female couples out in public together, but it’s nearly impossible to distinguish the woman from the man as far as clothing and other aspects of her appearance.

That type of women’s behavior happens far less in Europe. It’s less frequent in most parts of the world.

What the hell are you taking about? I find American women very feminine. In fact, the way women here take on the household responsibilities and excuse their husbands/boyfriends behavior is quite interesting to see. I'm front West Africa. In my country at least, the women who are as educated as American women are extremely masculine and very independent. I always find it weird and bizarre when some men in this country think women from other countries are mode "docile". You will be surprised lol!

To each their own, but I find American women very sexy, beautiful and gorgeous..and they are not afraid to embrace their feminity.

Maybe we live in different universes within the same country.

DP.

I don't know what part of West Africa you are from, but certainly not from my part of West Africa. In the West Africa I know, a man without money is lost. Women and men there expect men to be providers even when the women are well educated and hogh earners. A good number of women who earn as much as their husbands do not " formally" contribute towards the finances at home. Her money is hers, and his money belongs to both of them. West Africa is a rich man's dream and a poor man's hell. Women in West Africa do not dress similar to their men, and they do dress up for every small outing or occasion.