Is it normal for sibling not to tell you they are having a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

Describe why you would be insulted. Explain how this is insulting to you personally.

DP but haven't you seen all the posts here indicating that if the sister didn't tell the OP, it's probably because OP is unsupportive or has done something wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”

. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

It sure is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

Describe why you would be insulted. Explain how this is insulting to you personally.

DP but haven't you seen all the posts here indicating that if the sister didn't tell the OP, it's probably because OP is unsupportive or has done something wrong?

That still doesn’t make it insulting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

Describe why you would be insulted. Explain how this is insulting to you personally.

DP but haven't you seen all the posts here indicating that if the sister didn't tell the OP, it's probably because OP is unsupportive or has done something wrong?

That still doesn’t make it insulting.

It would be to many people.

[Anonymous]

I didn't share this with a sibling and sure enough, they did go no contact. Literally just stopped replying to me when I shared. I tried to check in, but no dice. Five years later we still don't talk. While I could see why they were upset, ultimately their reaction seemed way too extreme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

Describe why you would be insulted. Explain how this is insulting to you personally.

DP but haven't you seen all the posts here indicating that if the sister didn't tell the OP, it's probably because OP is unsupportive or has done something wrong?

PP

I agree with several posters saying it would be cause for concern or raised awareness. The relationship could be under heightened examination. That sounds reasonable.

I don’t understand the immediate reaction to be hurt and personally insulted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

For many people who have had loss, late loss, and losses, this very much is sharing medical information. It’s remarkable you don’t realize this.

[Anonymous]

This thread is making me dread telling my family should the day ever come. I would really have no interest in sharing with them. The prior times I shared some interesting news or medical info. the conversation quickly pivoted to themselves. At the same time, I know it would be the nail on the coffin based on social norms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't share this with a sibling and sure enough, they did go no contact. Literally just stopped replying to me when I shared. I tried to check in, but no dice. Five years later we still don't talk. While I could see why they were upset, ultimately their reaction seemed way too extreme.

Why did you keep it secret, and did you explain why when you shared the news?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

Describe why you would be insulted. Explain how this is insulting to you personally.

DP but haven't you seen all the posts here indicating that if the sister didn't tell the OP, it's probably because OP is unsupportive or has done something wrong?

That still doesn’t make it insulting.

It would be to many people.

Many people might choose to be insulted sure but that doesn’t make it insulting.

Others might choose to realize its about the new family’s preferences not theirs.

Others might choose to reflect on their historical conduct.

All choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

Describe why you would be insulted. Explain how this is insulting to you personally.

DP but haven't you seen all the posts here indicating that if the sister didn't tell the OP, it's probably because OP is unsupportive or has done something wrong?

That still doesn’t make it insulting.

It would be to many people.

Many people might choose to be insulted sure but that doesn’t make it insulting.

Others might choose to realize its about the new family’s preferences not theirs.

Others might choose to reflect on their historical conduct.

All choices.

I guess you could say that about anything. You could not invite your sibling to your wedding - after all, it's the couple who chooses whom to invite and no one is entitled to an invitation. The vast majority would feel insulted though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”

. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

It sure is.

+1

A pregnancy is a medical matter. It’s not unreasonable to consider a pregnancy a serious medical matter.

To have it dismissed as a non-medical issue and then being told people who disagree are animals speaks volumes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me dread telling my family should the day ever come. I would really have no interest in sharing with them. The prior times I shared some interesting news or medical info. the conversation quickly pivoted to themselves. At the same time, I know it would be the nail on the coffin based on social norms.

If we have a second child we will not be sharing with my in-laws until the arrival. And unfortunately, it has nothing to do with them! They, like some on this thread, consider it absolutely required to share with siblings. We held out telling my sister-in-law until 28 weeks last time (amid repeated lectured about how we HAD to tell her), and for 12 weeks thereafter I received hourly phone calls and texts. *Hundreds* a day. My husband repeatedly called his sister to tell her to get a grip and she simply refused. My in laws even told her to stop. I was high risk and on bed rest, details we blessedly had not shared. When my daughter was two, I mentioned in passing that we had been on bedrest and my mother-in-law was shocked she hadn’t known. I told her it was because of how she felt about sharing this information with sister-in-law and she was absolutely mortified.

So should we be blessed for the second child, they will find out when the baby is here. And they can choose to make it about themselves and they can choose to be insulted, but it is about SIL‘s conduct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

Describe why you would be insulted. Explain how this is insulting to you personally.

DP but haven't you seen all the posts here indicating that if the sister didn't tell the OP, it's probably because OP is unsupportive or has done something wrong?

PP

I agree with several posters saying it would be cause for concern or raised awareness. The relationship could be under heightened examination. That sounds reasonable.

I don’t understand the immediate reaction to be hurt and personally insulted.

Right. If one of my sisters announced a birth, out of the blue, I'd be flabbergasted, but my immediate reaction would be intense concern. I'm asking "are you okay? Is baby okay? What can I do? I love you"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s normal behavior -
“Hey sis who I text weekly, I’m expecting a baby in four months. We kept it quiet in the first trimester and I’m still kind of spooked so I’m not really up for discussing medical stuff and mom war stories, and we’re not talking about it on social media. Hope you understand”. Sibling: “Congratulations! Can’t wait to meet the baby. I’m here if you need anything”. Sibling keeps mouth shut.

That’s not revealing “medical information”. It’s normal family interaction. If the relationship was bad, wouldn’t have been regular texts. It is insulting to the sibling not to tell about the baby until after the birth, although pregnant person does not owe anyone the blast on
“I’m in labor now!” That can wait until the baby arrives.

I continue to be astonished at how many people were seemingly raised by wolves and have their heads up their behinds about how they are the only people in the universe and everyone else is just a supporting character in their personal drama.

Coworker not saying anything is a little weird, but it’s fine.

Describe why you would be insulted. Explain how this is insulting to you personally.

DP but haven't you seen all the posts here indicating that if the sister didn't tell the OP, it's probably because OP is unsupportive or has done something wrong?

That still doesn’t make it insulting.

It would be to many people.

Many people might choose to be insulted sure but that doesn’t make it insulting.

Others might choose to realize its about the new family’s preferences not theirs.

Others might choose to reflect on their historical conduct.

All choices.

I guess you could say that about anything. You could not invite your sibling to your wedding - after all, it's the couple who chooses whom to invite and no one is entitled to an invitation. The vast majority would feel insulted though.

Dp

Rather than saying it about “anything”, you could draw reasonable distinctions between a pregnancy and a wedding. I can think of many important differences.