Is it normal for sibling not to tell you they are having a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d go no or low contact with this sibling as they clearly don’t value a relationship with you.

Wow. You’re exactly the kind of person people hide a pregnancy from.

+1

These people insist on knowing IF you are pregnant, WHEN you will become pregnant, WHERE you are in your family planning, WHY you are not pregnant, HOW many pregnancies you are planning.

These people are insufferable and need to be shut down in the most direct way possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has she had prior losses? I know people who told no one after they had loss(es) until the baby was born alive and home.

This is actually probably the scenario as for those who have experienced a lot of loss, they cocoon. I wouldn’t take it personally, OP!

[Anonymous]

What happened when you asked, “Hey so how come you didn’t tell us that you were pregnant?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened when you asked, “Hey so how come you didn’t tell us that you were pregnant?”

Don’t ask her that! her reasons are not your business. She obviously didn’t feel safe and supported and now she is doing better.

[Anonymous]

Same thing happened to me -baby was born and I still wasn’t told anything. They had been texting me like normal while they were pregnant. I am no contact with them now because you can’t have a close relationship with someone who keeps major events like this private. I don’t need to know details but would have been nice to have been informed via hearing about it from someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same thing happened to me -baby was born and I still wasn’t told anything. They had been texting me like normal while they were pregnant. I am no contact with them now because you can’t have a close relationship with someone who keeps major events like this private. I don’t need to know details but would have been nice to have been informed via hearing about it from someone else.

Wow, did you ever find out what was going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d go no or low contact with this sibling as they clearly don’t value a relationship with you.

Wow. You’re exactly the kind of person people hide a pregnancy from.

+1

These people insist on knowing IF you are pregnant, WHEN you will become pregnant, WHERE you are in your family planning, WHY you are not pregnant, HOW many pregnancies you are planning.

These people are insufferable and need to be shut down in the most direct way possible.

I think the real horror is that these people think another person’s feelings— possible loss, grief, pain and recovery should all be subordinate to their “need” to know about a baby not yet born. It’s basically the definition of malignant narcissism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same thing happened to me -baby was born and I still wasn’t told anything. They had been texting me like normal while they were pregnant. I am no contact with them now because you can’t have a close relationship with someone who keeps major events like this private. I don’t need to know details but would have been nice to have been informed via hearing about it from someone else.

You mean *you* can’t. Plenty of the rest of us can welcome a baby and support its family just fine without knowing about its gestation. I imagine your sibling found supportive people who care about the baby in her arms more than they’re mad they didn’t know about one in her uterus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same thing happened to me -baby was born and I still wasn’t told anything. They had been texting me like normal while they were pregnant. I am no contact with them now because you can’t have a close relationship with someone who keeps major events like this private. I don’t need to know details but would have been nice to have been informed via hearing about it from someone else.

You can’t be serious. You are no contact because someone didn’t inform you about a pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened when you asked, “Hey so how come you didn’t tell us that you were pregnant?”

Don’t ask her that! her reasons are not your business. She obviously didn’t feel safe and supported and now she is doing better.

This isn’t some co-worker or neighbor. It’s a sibling!!! There is nothing wrong with simply asking the question. And where do you get off assuming the sister “didn’t feel safe or supported?” That is mighty presumptuous on your part, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d go no or low contact with this sibling as they clearly don’t value a relationship with you.

Wow. You’re exactly the kind of person people hide a pregnancy from.

+1

These people insist on knowing IF you are pregnant, WHEN you will become pregnant, WHERE you are in your family planning, WHY you are not pregnant, HOW many pregnancies you are planning.

These people are insufferable and need to be shut down in the most direct way possible.

I think the real horror is that these people think another person’s feelings— possible loss, grief, pain and recovery should all be subordinate to their “need” to know about a baby not yet born. It’s basically the definition of malignant narcissism.

+1

They have no interest whatsoever in the interests and personal decisions of the pregnant woman. None.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened when you asked, “Hey so how come you didn’t tell us that you were pregnant?”

Don’t ask her that! her reasons are not your business. She obviously didn’t feel safe and supported and now she is doing better.

This isn’t some co-worker or neighbor. It’s a sibling!!! There is nothing wrong with simply asking the question. And where do you get off assuming the sister “didn’t feel safe or supported?” That is mighty presumptuous on your part, PP.

DP Why is it your business? It isn’t. It isn’t your business. If you need to know, you will be informed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened when you asked, “Hey so how come you didn’t tell us that you were pregnant?”

Don’t ask her that! her reasons are not your business. She obviously didn’t feel safe and supported and now she is doing better.

This isn’t some co-worker or neighbor. It’s a sibling!!! There is nothing wrong with simply asking the question. And where do you get off assuming the sister “didn’t feel safe or supported?” That is mighty presumptuous on your part, PP.

DP Why is it your business? It isn’t. It isn’t your business. If you need to know, you will be informed.

One more time: it’s family. Family supports one another. If I found out one of my siblings, with whom I’m not estranged, did this, I would genuinely want to know what is going on and what led to not disclosing a pregnancy. It is NOT normal behavior.

No, it’s none of my business if it’s a co-worker or neighbor. But it is my business if it’s family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened when you asked, “Hey so how come you didn’t tell us that you were pregnant?”

Don’t ask her that! her reasons are not your business. She obviously didn’t feel safe and supported and now she is doing better.

This isn’t some co-worker or neighbor. It’s a sibling!!! There is nothing wrong with simply asking the question. And where do you get off assuming the sister “didn’t feel safe or supported?” That is mighty presumptuous on your part, PP.

DP Why is it your business? It isn’t. It isn’t your business. If you need to know, you will be informed.

One more time: it’s family. Family supports one another. If I found out one of my siblings, with whom I’m not estranged, did this, I would genuinely want to know what is going on and what led to not disclosing a pregnancy. It is NOT normal behavior.

No, it’s none of my business if it’s a co-worker or neighbor. But it is my business if it’s family.

Agreed; not normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened when you asked, “Hey so how come you didn’t tell us that you were pregnant?”

Don’t ask her that! her reasons are not your business. She obviously didn’t feel safe and supported and now she is doing better.

This isn’t some co-worker or neighbor. It’s a sibling!!! There is nothing wrong with simply asking the question. And where do you get off assuming the sister “didn’t feel safe or supported?” That is mighty presumptuous on your part, PP.

DP Why is it your business? It isn’t. It isn’t your business. If you need to know, you will be informed.

One more time: it’s family. Family supports one another. If I found out one of my siblings, with whom I’m not estranged, did this, I would genuinely want to know what is going on and what led to not disclosing a pregnancy. It is NOT normal behavior.

No, it’s none of my business if it’s a co-worker or neighbor. But it is my business if it’s family.

It’s your business if you are the future potential parent, potential because hopefully the baby survives the pregnancy you - not the parent - must absolutely know about, no exceptions.

You can keep repeating things not your business are your business - it does not make it your business.