Son's Birthday Sleepover

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is normal for a parent to ask if their child is going to a safe home. The fact that OP’s DH is so defensive makes me wonder what they are hiding.

They're not hiding anything. In fact, they openly stated that they own several guns worth several thousand dollars. They are refusing to share private information with strangers. Try and keep up.

Actually OP has shared this private information with strangers--all of us. She refuses to disclose to her son's friend's mother. Seems totally ass backwards to me, but I guess that's one less goody bag she'll have to buy.

You do understand that this is an ...... anonymous site, right? There is a just a wee difference between typing "I own a bunch of rifles" here and telling you son's entire classroom that information.

I really do question the level of intellect here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is 100 percent her business. Improperly stored firearms + 13 preteen boys overnight = potential for disaster.

Why not just tell her that you do own guns and that they are stored unloaded in a locked safe, separate from ammunition, or in a biometric safe?

OP here. DH basically feels like she is calling him an idiot by supposing he'd have loaded guns lying around. Some of them are worth a large some of money and he doesn't want it known that the 'Jones family' has several thousand dollars worth of guns in our house. He noted that she didn't ask about illegal or prescription drugs, dangerous dogs, swimming pool, alcohol or any other factor also known to kill kids. It feels 'virtue signally' at his expense. It's hard to not consider that viewpoint.

This is SO bizarre. Why have guns at all if owning them makes your home MORE likely to be burglarized?

It might make you more likely to be burglarized but it makes a home invasion dramatically safer. The #1 thing a burglar is most scared of is being confronted by an armed home owner. Most of them will leave if they realize somebody is home to avoid finding out if they have a gun.

There is no reason to be disclosing the presence (or absence) of any valuables in your home to people you barely know. Alot of robberies are loose acquaintances

Citation?

The defensive value of guns is evidenced by international comparisons of so-called “hot burglaries,” whereby a resident is at home when a criminal strikes. In the United Kingdom, which has tough gun-control laws, almost 60% of all burglaries are “hot burglaries.” In the United States, where gun ownership is commonplace, the “hot burglary” rate stands at only 13%. In 2024, the overall burglary rate in the U.K. is about 54% higher than the rate in the U.S. (229 per 100,000 in U.S. and 353 per 100,000 in England and Wales).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is 100 percent her business. Improperly stored firearms + 13 preteen boys overnight = potential for disaster.

Why not just tell her that you do own guns and that they are stored unloaded in a locked safe, separate from ammunition, or in a biometric safe?

OP here. DH basically feels like she is calling him an idiot by supposing he'd have loaded guns lying around. Some of them are worth a large some of money and he doesn't want it known that the 'Jones family' has several thousand dollars worth of guns in our house. He noted that she didn't ask about illegal or prescription drugs, dangerous dogs, swimming pool, alcohol or any other factor also known to kill kids. It feels 'virtue signally' at his expense. It's hard to not consider that viewpoint.

PP here who said you should refuse to discuss it. I agree with your DH. She is trying to score a political point, and if you confirm you have guns, she will conclude you’re MAGA and gossip about you all over town. I also wouldn’t want anyone knowing whether or not I have guns in my home. The fact that everyone knows that anyone could have loaded guns in their home at any time and could use them keeps home invasions low.

Who, precisely, is she "trying to score a political point" with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is 100 percent her business. Improperly stored firearms + 13 preteen boys overnight = potential for disaster.

Why not just tell her that you do own guns and that they are stored unloaded in a locked safe, separate from ammunition, or in a biometric safe?

OP here. DH basically feels like she is calling him an idiot by supposing he'd have loaded guns lying around. Some of them are worth a large some of money and he doesn't want it known that the 'Jones family' has several thousand dollars worth of guns in our house. He noted that she didn't ask about illegal or prescription drugs, dangerous dogs, swimming pool, alcohol or any other factor also known to kill kids. It feels 'virtue signally' at his expense. It's hard to not consider that viewpoint.

It's only hard if you have the IQ of a sweet potato. It's pretty easy to dismiss that reflexively defensive, logically flawed rationale otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is 100 percent her business. Improperly stored firearms + 13 preteen boys overnight = potential for disaster.

Why not just tell her that you do own guns and that they are stored unloaded in a locked safe, separate from ammunition, or in a biometric safe?

OP here. DH basically feels like she is calling him an idiot by supposing he'd have loaded guns lying around. Some of them are worth a large some of money and he doesn't want it known that the 'Jones family' has several thousand dollars worth of guns in our house. He noted that she didn't ask about illegal or prescription drugs, dangerous dogs, swimming pool, alcohol or any other factor also known to kill kids. It feels 'virtue signally' at his expense. It's hard to not consider that viewpoint.

It's only hard if you have the IQ of a sweet potato. It's pretty easy to dismiss that reflexively defensive, logically flawed rationale otherwise.

Wanting it unknown that you have a large amount of highly valuable and frequently stolen items in your home is logically flawed? You wouldn't know logic if it bit you in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Here’s the thing, if the OP doesn’t respond or tells this mother it is none of her business, the child will not be at the party. The OP has every right to not answer the question, but this parent has every right to not allow her child to attend. I am tired of everything being political—please stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing, if the OP doesn’t respond or tells this mother it is none of her business, the child will not be at the party. The OP has every right to not answer the question, but this parent has every right to not allow her child to attend. I am tired of everything being political—please stop.

Who made this political? The other mother just asked a question.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with the mom who is asking. When my son had a birthday sleepover, I proactively told parents we are a no-gun household. And if I knew OP's home was full of guns (regardless of how well or poorly they are stored) I probably would decline the invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very valid question to ask, and I don't understand why you wouldn't disclose what you said here about how they're stored.

Do you tell the parents of your kid's friends how all of your jewelry is stored and what the value is?

Kids are not killed by discovering the jewelry in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is 100 percent her business. Improperly stored firearms + 13 preteen boys overnight = potential for disaster.

Why not just tell her that you do own guns and that they are stored unloaded in a locked safe, separate from ammunition, or in a biometric safe?

OP here. DH basically feels like she is calling him an idiot by supposing he'd have loaded guns lying around. Some of them are worth a large some of money and he doesn't want it known that the 'Jones family' has several thousand dollars worth of guns in our house. He noted that she didn't ask about illegal or prescription drugs, dangerous dogs, swimming pool, alcohol or any other factor also known to kill kids. It feels 'virtue signally' at his expense. It's hard to not consider that viewpoint.

OP, I assume your son is fully aware that his father owns lots of guns? You can't imagine a world in which your son, wanting to impress his DOZEN guests, shows his friends a gun? Seems completely plausible. In fact, it happened with my son. He visited a friend for a play date, age 5. I found out later that his friend showed him his dad's gun. To this day, I am sick to my stomach thinking about that and the tragedy we avoided. It's a reasonable question. And I really don't care if this sounds judgmental, but the fact that OP's gun-loving husband is more concerned about the value of his guns than making his son's friends feel safe is just messed up. And the idea that your first thought is to straight up lie ("no, we don't have guns") is abhorrent. Your house is unsafe, OP. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the worst thing is: you can't even imagine -the why- of someone asking this

But there is no why. The guns are stored safely. End of story.

The mom is just some left wing loonie that wants to politicize everything. I feel bad for her kid. He's going to miss a party and end up on the outside of this friend group.

You are the only one who is politicizing this.

[Anonymous]

I actually think the mom is kind of awesome for asking and have made a note to ask something like this in a few years. Dont lie and respond to her.

[Anonymous]

Ps the loaded hand gun (don’t care that it’s in a safe) in the bedroom - get that out of there with a kid and their friends in the house.
Pps I’d make a mental note that spouses first instinct was to lie. To a question involving children’s welfare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with the mom who is asking. When my son had a birthday sleepover, I proactively told parents we are a no-gun household. And if I knew OP's home was full of guns (regardless of how well or poorly they are stored) I probably would decline the invite.

Do you let your son near police officers? Military members? Airports? Army bases? The national Mall? The US Capitol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is 100 percent her business. Improperly stored firearms + 13 preteen boys overnight = potential for disaster.

Why not just tell her that you do own guns and that they are stored unloaded in a locked safe, separate from ammunition, or in a biometric safe?

OP here. DH basically feels like she is calling him an idiot by supposing he'd have loaded guns lying around. Some of them are worth a large some of money and he doesn't want it known that the 'Jones family' has several thousand dollars worth of guns in our house. He noted that she didn't ask about illegal or prescription drugs, dangerous dogs, swimming pool, alcohol or any other factor also known to kill kids. It feels 'virtue signally' at his expense. It's hard to not consider that viewpoint.

OP, I assume your son is fully aware that his father owns lots of guns? You can't imagine a world in which your son, wanting to impress his DOZEN guests, shows his friends a gun? Seems completely plausible. In fact, it happened with my son. He visited a friend for a play date, age 5. I found out later that his friend showed him his dad's gun. To this day, I am sick to my stomach thinking about that and the tragedy we avoided. It's a reasonable question. And I really don't care if this sounds judgmental, but the fact that OP's gun-loving husband is more concerned about the value of his guns than making his son's friends feel safe is just messed up. And the idea that your first thought is to straight up lie ("no, we don't have guns") is abhorrent. Your house is unsafe, OP. Period.

I love it when morons don't even read the thread.