Son's Birthday Sleepover

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an area where hunting was common as were shooting sports. I would say yes (presumably your kid knows about the hunting) and they are locked up and could add that the kids won't be in rooms where they are kept.

30-40 % of American households have guns. Your kids have been in houses with guns - you should be talking about safety with them.

Agree with this. Teach your kid what to do or not do. You can’t assume they will never see a gun.
At 10 my kid found an old BB rifle style gun of mine in the garage. I’d used in in my 20s to shoot cans with in the mountains. She was with a friend and they both came running in saying they’d found a gun. They didn’t touch it. They told us.
I had to call the other kids parent and explain it wasn’t a real gun lol. In case she went home and told her there was one in our house.

This, this, and so much this! I also teach kids to not touch but assume that any gun is loaded, so if another child moves to pick it up, get out of the way of the muzzle!

[Anonymous]

I am glad you uninvited the family. Pools, trampoline, and motorized bikes /scooters are way more likely to cause injury. And they didn't ask at all about trampolines, swimming pools or motorized scooters or bikes.

Statistically, a child is 100 times more likely to drown in a swimming pool than to die in an accidental shooting at a home where a gun is present.

Trampolines are a huge danger at sleepovers and thousands of kids are injured at sleepovers from double bouncing.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t respond. It’s none of her business. I would absolutely not divulge information on if we have guns, how many, how/where they are stored. When you send a child to someone’s house you are trusting they are a responsible parent and that anything that could be extremely dangerous is stored, handled, secured appropriately.

If they respond like OP to what is a very reasonable question, I’d assume they are not responsible parents, and I wouldn’t trust them. Some people actually think that telling kids to stay away from their loaded, unsecured guns is effective and safe. Unless you tell me otherwise, I’m going to assume you’re that kind of irresponsible, and I’m not sending the most precious thing in my life to your house.

I don’t think it’s a reasonable question. Either you trust the parents and find them to have sound and safe judgment, or you don’t. If someone did own guns that they keep loaded, unlocked, and accessible to children- they are absolutely not going to actually tell you that.

+1

I have asked this question and parents answered. One said they did and told me how it was stored. My kid went over there multiple times after. I guess I managed to sound nonjudgmental about it. They were not defensive at all in answering the question. Other parents I asked said they did not have any but also didn’t seem to mind the question.

+1. This is definitely a “hit dog hollers” situation. All of you people saying it’s none of your business, I sincerely hope you don’t learn the hard way that it actually is.

You think a parent you barely know if going to tell you about the loaded shotgun in the coat closet? I think not.

Maybe not, but when they start shifting uncomfortably I have all the info I need to know. Most people are very bad liars, especially when you catch them off guard.

Unlikely. Most people are going to email or text this question, not ask it at drop off (case in point, the OP). No one would be “shifting uncomfortably” you’ve made that up as what you think would happen. This is a no win question. All it will do if confirm someone is responsible- but it absolutely not will save your kid from danger, if there is any. You might as well ask, “Are you a complete moron and irresponsible parent?” It’s the same question.

DP. How a parent responds to the question tells me all I need to know. OP’s response - no way would I send my kid there.

If she simply just gave a straightforward answer that yes and they are locked up, then I would.

Is obvious OP and her husband have issues and insecurities with owning guns and how they are perceived. Gun openers who are comfortable and secure in having and storing one are not.

It's a lot easier to trust gun owners that straightforwardly answer that the guns are secured (and may offer to show the secure storage) than anyone who says they don't have guns (unless I know that they are anti-gun).

[Anonymous]

While the way she phrased it was extremely odd and unnecessarily prickly, it is absolutely 100% her business if there are guns in the home of where her kid might visit, so you need to stop with thinking or saying otherwise.

The way I phrase it is this:
“Unfortunately, due to a childhood tragedy, it’s especially important for me to ask: do you keep guns in the home?”

My neighbor three doors down was shot and killed when he and a friend were playing with his dad’s gun. So yeah, I ask. And yeah, I have a right to.

[Anonymous]

The loaded gun in the bedroom would be a no for me. Too easy for someone to distract the owner into leaving it open. I understand and accept the trampoline risk. My kid can swim. I trust they won’t swallow random pills. But I don’t trust all their friends not to wave a gun around. This mom may or may not be politically posturing. But she’s doing right by her kid and I hope she explains her reasoning to him and his siblings.

“a biometric safe can be accidentally left open or fail to lock securely. Common causes include the door not closing completely, the mechanism failing to latch, the safe remaining in factory default mode, or low batteries causing the solenoid to remain retracted. Many safes also suffer from poor design, such as gaps that allow the lock to be easily bypassed.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While the way she phrased it was extremely odd and unnecessarily prickly, it is absolutely 100% her business if there are guns in the home of where her kid might visit, so you need to stop with thinking or saying otherwise.

The way I phrase it is this:
“Unfortunately, due to a childhood tragedy, it’s especially important for me to ask: do you keep guns in the home?”

My neighbor three doors down was shot and killed when he and a friend were playing with his dad’s gun. So yeah, I ask. And yeah, I have a right to.

You can keep thinking it’s your right and business to know, but it isn’t and no one is obligated to share any info about what they keep in their house, where, how it’s kept. Take with that omission whatever you want. You aren’t obligated to send your kid to anyone’s house, just as they aren’t obligated to give you these details

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very valid question to ask, and I don't understand why you wouldn't disclose what you said here about how they're stored.

Do you tell the parents of your kid's friends how all of your jewelry is stored and what the value is?

No one has been killed by diamond earrings.

+1 Let us know when jewelry becomes one of the main reasons for death in the USA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While the way she phrased it was extremely odd and unnecessarily prickly, it is absolutely 100% her business if there are guns in the home of where her kid might visit, so you need to stop with thinking or saying otherwise.

The way I phrase it is this:
“Unfortunately, due to a childhood tragedy, it’s especially important for me to ask: do you keep guns in the home?”

My neighbor three doors down was shot and killed when he and a friend were playing with his dad’s gun. So yeah, I ask. And yeah, I have a right to.

You can keep thinking it’s your right and business to know, but it isn’t and no one is obligated to share any info about what they keep in their house, where, how it’s kept. Take with that omission whatever you want. You aren’t obligated to send your kid to anyone’s house, just as they aren’t obligated to give you these details

I’ve never had a problem when I ask. Any RESPONSIBLE owner would not only anticipate the question, they would welcome it. I’ve had many good discussions with RESPONSIBLE gun owners, whom I trust.

And thank you so much for your condolences about the traumatic death of my friend when I was a child. You’re clearly a very kind and thoughtful person.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here, well the party is tonight and we rescinded the invite to that family yesterday. Not ten minutes later another mom of one of the other boys called me and said that the other mom was bad mouthing us before we even pulled back the invite. She said the lady said she wasn't going to send her kid anyway because she figured we were 'conservative'.

Oh well, guess her son will always have his mother meddling in his friendships.

The fact that you rescinded an invitation because you are so sensitive about a question re: guns makes it clear you feel some sort of shame or negativity around your gun ownership. It's a hit dog hollering situation. If you felt confident and proud in your gun ownership, you wouldn't have an issue with just honestly and clearly answering the question.

Not at all. It's not the lady's business.

It is absolutely her business if she is sending her kid to a house where guns are stored improperly. Come on people. I’m pro 2A but this is insane.

Actually, no, it isn't. You have no right to know anything about the inside of anyone's home.

If you are sending your kid there, you do. Same as pool safety. Guns are the number one cause of death for children, more than cars, more than drownings.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here, well the party is tonight and we rescinded the invite to that family yesterday. Not ten minutes later another mom of one of the other boys called me and said that the other mom was bad mouthing us before we even pulled back the invite. She said the lady said she wasn't going to send her kid anyway because she figured we were 'conservative'.

Oh well, guess her son will always have his mother meddling in his friendships.

The fact that you rescinded an invitation because you are so sensitive about a question re: guns makes it clear you feel some sort of shame or negativity around your gun ownership. It's a hit dog hollering situation. If you felt confident and proud in your gun ownership, you wouldn't have an issue with just honestly and clearly answering the question.

Not at all. It's not the lady's business.

It is absolutely her business if she is sending her kid to a house where guns are stored improperly. Come on people. I’m pro 2A but this is insane.

Actually, no, it isn't. You have no right to know anything about the inside of anyone's home.

If you are sending your kid there, you do. Same as pool safety. Guns are the number one cause of death for children, more than cars, more than drownings.

DP to add, and within that statistic, accidental shootings (exactly what this parent is concerned about) are the number one method of a gun death for children up to age 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please please tell them the truth. This is a question I used to ask parents when my kids are younger. We are just trying to keep our kids safe. Gun owners disgust me but lying gun owners are even worse. I think your husband is ashamed.

Honestly, evey conservative I've known is bizarrely paranoid about people's intentions. It is a simple request that should get a simple answer. Happy my own DH is not such a weirdo and would just answer the question.