Son's Birthday Sleepover

[Anonymous]

no one needs to read this entire thread. Just OP's postings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is 100 percent her business. Improperly stored firearms + 13 preteen boys overnight = potential for disaster.

Why not just tell her that you do own guns and that they are stored unloaded in a locked safe, separate from ammunition, or in a biometric safe?

OP here. DH basically feels like she is calling him an idiot by supposing he'd have loaded guns lying around. Some of them are worth a large some of money and he doesn't want it known that the 'Jones family' has several thousand dollars worth of guns in our house. He noted that she didn't ask about illegal or prescription drugs, dangerous dogs, swimming pool, alcohol or any other factor also known to kill kids. It feels 'virtue signally' at his expense. It's hard to not consider that viewpoint.

OP, I assume your son is fully aware that his father owns lots of guns? You can't imagine a world in which your son, wanting to impress his DOZEN guests, shows his friends a gun? Seems completely plausible. In fact, it happened with my son. He visited a friend for a play date, age 5. I found out later that his friend showed him his dad's gun. To this day, I am sick to my stomach thinking about that and the tragedy we avoided. It's a reasonable question. And I really don't care if this sounds judgmental, but the fact that OP's gun-loving husband is more concerned about the value of his guns than making his son's friends feel safe is just messed up. And the idea that your first thought is to straight up lie ("no, we don't have guns") is abhorrent. Your house is unsafe, OP. Period.

If you asked that irresponsible gun owner if it was secured properly he would have lied to your face.
Every single dog owner who's dog mauled a kid will say, "I had no idea he was capable of that".
Zero batteries in the smoke detectors - I had no idea the batteries were out
Kid gets into drugs "Oh I had no idea my eldest was smoking pot" etc etc etc

Do not send your kid over to somebody else's house. There is nothing but trouble and there's plenty of dangerous things other than guns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the worst thing is: you can't even imagine -the why- of someone asking this

But there is no why. The guns are stored safely. End of story.

The mom is just some left wing loonie that wants to politicize everything. I feel bad for her kid. He's going to miss a party and end up on the outside of this friend group.

Why are gun nutters so defensive? If the guns are stored safely just say so. OP’s family sound irresponsible.

Guns are a commonly stolen item in burglaries.

I had my house broken into and all the couch cushions were pulled off. They were looking for guns. Gangsters stash loaded guns in the couch for easy access.

So you think OP's son's friend's mother is going to steal the guns?

I've head enough stories. Somebody hosts a house party, feels alittle paranoid, goes and checks that windows are locked and finds out a guest unlocked an obscure basement window from the inside. People are scum bags. You can take that check to the bank and cash it every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is 100 percent her business. Improperly stored firearms + 13 preteen boys overnight = potential for disaster.

Why not just tell her that you do own guns and that they are stored unloaded in a locked safe, separate from ammunition, or in a biometric safe?

OP here. DH basically feels like she is calling him an idiot by supposing he'd have loaded guns lying around. Some of them are worth a large some of money and he doesn't want it known that the 'Jones family' has several thousand dollars worth of guns in our house. He noted that she didn't ask about illegal or prescription drugs, dangerous dogs, swimming pool, alcohol or any other factor also known to kill kids. It feels 'virtue signally' at his expense. It's hard to not consider that viewpoint.

PP here who said you should refuse to discuss it. I agree with your DH. She is trying to score a political point, and if you confirm you have guns, she will conclude you’re MAGA and gossip about you all over town. I also wouldn’t want anyone knowing whether or not I have guns in my home. The fact that everyone knows that anyone could have loaded guns in their home at any time and could use them keeps home invasions low.

Who, precisely, is she "trying to score a political point" with?

My god. This is crazy and delusional. She is asking because of safety issue.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I can’t believe people on here are seriously believing that the mother wants to burglarize the house or asking for political reasons.

And if that is OP’s husbands response is to not tell them or lie and say they don’t have guns, well best that kid skip the party.

All OP has to say is yes and they are locked up and I would have sent my son. But knowing OP’s husbands response and her agreeing, yea that quickly changed to no way.

[Anonymous]

OP here, well the party is tonight and we rescinded the invite to that family yesterday. Not ten minutes later another mom of one of the other boys called me and said that the other mom was bad mouthing us before we even pulled back the invite. She said the lady said she wasn't going to send her kid anyway because she figured we were 'conservative'.

Oh well, guess her son will always have his mother meddling in his friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, well the party is tonight and we rescinded the invite to that family yesterday. Not ten minutes later another mom of one of the other boys called me and said that the other mom was bad mouthing us before we even pulled back the invite. She said the lady said she wasn't going to send her kid anyway because she figured we were 'conservative'.

Oh well, guess her son will always have his mother meddling in his friendships.

Why did you rescind? Why not just let her decline? Did you end up answering it was none of her business?

[Anonymous]

Wow! I'm glad they asked and you should absolutely tell the truth. I mean you just shared to a bunch of strangers.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t respond. It’s none of her business. I would absolutely not divulge information on if we have guns, how many, how/where they are stored. When you send a child to someone’s house you are trusting they are a responsible parent and that anything that could be extremely dangerous is stored, handled, secured appropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t respond. It’s none of her business. I would absolutely not divulge information on if we have guns, how many, how/where they are stored. When you send a child to someone’s house you are trusting they are a responsible parent and that anything that could be extremely dangerous is stored, handled, secured appropriately.

If they respond like OP to what is a very reasonable question, I’d assume they are not responsible parents, and I wouldn’t trust them. Some people actually think that telling kids to stay away from their loaded, unsecured guns is effective and safe. Unless you tell me otherwise, I’m going to assume you’re that kind of irresponsible, and I’m not sending the most precious thing in my life to your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t respond. It’s none of her business. I would absolutely not divulge information on if we have guns, how many, how/where they are stored. When you send a child to someone’s house you are trusting they are a responsible parent and that anything that could be extremely dangerous is stored, handled, secured appropriately.

If they respond like OP to what is a very reasonable question, I’d assume they are not responsible parents, and I wouldn’t trust them. Some people actually think that telling kids to stay away from their loaded, unsecured guns is effective and safe. Unless you tell me otherwise, I’m going to assume you’re that kind of irresponsible, and I’m not sending the most precious thing in my life to your house.

I don’t think it’s a reasonable question. Either you trust the parents and find them to have sound and safe judgment, or you don’t. If someone did own guns that they keep loaded, unlocked, and accessible to children- they are absolutely not going to actually tell you that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is 100 percent her business. Improperly stored firearms + 13 preteen boys overnight = potential for disaster.

Why not just tell her that you do own guns and that they are stored unloaded in a locked safe, separate from ammunition, or in a biometric safe?

OP here. DH basically feels like she is calling him an idiot by supposing he'd have loaded guns lying around. Some of them are worth a large some of money and he doesn't want it known that the 'Jones family' has several thousand dollars worth of guns in our house. He noted that she didn't ask about illegal or prescription drugs, dangerous dogs, swimming pool, alcohol or any other factor also known to kill kids. It feels 'virtue signally' at his expense. It's hard to not consider that viewpoint.

It's only hard if you have the IQ of a sweet potato. It's pretty easy to dismiss that reflexively defensive, logically flawed rationale otherwise.

Wanting it unknown that you have a large amount of highly valuable and frequently stolen items in your home is logically flawed? You wouldn't know logic if it bit you in the ass.

Agree. We don’t have guns, but if we did, I absolutely wouldn’t be talking about it with other parents or anyone, let alone be giving them specific details. That is very stupid to do. If this is a concern of yours when you send kids to someone’s house, perhaps a better way to ask would be, “Do you have firearms in your house that are not locked and secured away from children.” This allows the host to reply without giving details on if they actually own firearms and any specifics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, well the party is tonight and we rescinded the invite to that family yesterday. Not ten minutes later another mom of one of the other boys called me and said that the other mom was bad mouthing us before we even pulled back the invite. She said the lady said she wasn't going to send her kid anyway because she figured we were 'conservative'.

Oh well, guess her son will always have his mother meddling in his friendships.

So gun owners are conservative? She needs to watch the movie boys n the hood or watch some murder podcasts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, well the party is tonight and we rescinded the invite to that family yesterday. Not ten minutes later another mom of one of the other boys called me and said that the other mom was bad mouthing us before we even pulled back the invite. She said the lady said she wasn't going to send her kid anyway because she figured we were 'conservative'.

Oh well, guess her son will always have his mother meddling in his friendships.

Probably best. If you would have given her any info she 100% would have talked about it with other parents who then may repeat it to others.

[Anonymous]

The crazy thing about this is that OP is only locking up the guns because they are valuable. Not because they are dangerous and deadly.