Ex Can’t Do School Logistics Anymore — Advice?

[Anonymous]

So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

How is that good? She gets the easy part where she doesn’t have to deal with school or activities. He should take weekdays and she take weekends as she doesn’t want to do school, and have the kids go to school near him. They are younger so changing schools at least for next year is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

How is that good? She gets the easy part where she doesn’t have to deal with school or activities. He should take weekdays and she take weekends as she doesn’t want to do school, and have the kids go to school near him. They are younger so changing schools at least for next year is fine.

Changing school for kids is tough. Why would you send them off to live near a flaky dad who impregnated his affair partner who is going to have a newborn to take care of soon? Those kids are going to get neglected.

And weekdays are much easier for any parent because they’re in school for most of their waking hours. Weekends you actually spend time with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

[Anonymous]

He moved without consideration for his current kids and HE needs to figure it out.

OP, drop the rope and document,document, document. Kids having few tardies is not the end of the world, especially if it leads to you getting more custody.

Sounds like the dad is in the road to a slow fade and is prioritizing his “new” life. Let him struggle so that in the end when he does bail you have the documentation you need for increased child support and custody.

And, on the off chance that he does figure out, then great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

How is that good? She gets the easy part where she doesn’t have to deal with school or activities. He should take weekdays and she take weekends as she doesn’t want to do school, and have the kids go to school near him. They are younger so changing schools at least for next year is fine.

It's good because it keeps the kids consistently going to the school they're enrolled in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

How is that good? She gets the easy part where she doesn’t have to deal with school or activities. He should take weekdays and she take weekends as she doesn’t want to do school, and have the kids go to school near him. They are younger so changing schools at least for next year is fine.

Changing school for kids is tough. Why would you send them off to live near a flaky dad who impregnated his affair partner who is going to have a newborn to take care of soon? Those kids are going to get neglected.

And weekdays are much easier for any parent because they’re in school for most of their waking hours. Weekends you actually spend time with your kids.

You need to stop making up stuff. He isn't flaky. He is working to pay child support, a house for himself and the kids and the kids needs in his home. If he takes a job for 5-6 hours a day to do the commute, is OP ok with less money? He is doing the bulk of the work driving them back and forth and having them 3 school days a week and some weekends. OP is lazy. Kids change schools all the time. If they are with him three school days a week it makes sense when they aren't allowed to be at mom's those three days and as teens they may need more flexiblity and have to go back and forth to school twice for activities/sports and need a landing zone between those times. She is the lazy one not wiling to care for her kids before and after school so he can work. Its not like he's out partying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

How is that good? She gets the easy part where she doesn’t have to deal with school or activities. He should take weekdays and she take weekends as she doesn’t want to do school, and have the kids go to school near him. They are younger so changing schools at least for next year is fine.

It's good because it keeps the kids consistently going to the school they're enrolled in.

Its not good as they are young and as they get to MS and HS they will need to go back and forth for activiites and sports and being closer is easier on everyone when mom will not work with dad. This makes no sense. They should finish up the year and then transfer next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He moved without consideration for his current kids and HE needs to figure it out.

OP, drop the rope and document,document, document. Kids having few tardies is not the end of the world, especially if it leads to you getting more custody.

Sounds like the dad is in the road to a slow fade and is prioritizing his “new” life. Let him struggle so that in the end when he does bail you have the documentation you need for increased child support and custody.

And, on the off chance that he does figure out, then great!

And, he will document mom is working from home and unwilling to care for them an hour or two a day so they should change schools as he hsa primary custody during the week. She can take them Friday-Sunday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

How is that good? She gets the easy part where she doesn’t have to deal with school or activities. He should take weekdays and she take weekends as she doesn’t want to do school, and have the kids go to school near him. They are younger so changing schools at least for next year is fine.

Changing school for kids is tough. Why would you send them off to live near a flaky dad who impregnated his affair partner who is going to have a newborn to take care of soon? Those kids are going to get neglected.

And weekdays are much easier for any parent because they’re in school for most of their waking hours. Weekends you actually spend time with your kids.

You need to stop making up stuff. He isn't flaky. He is working to pay child support, a house for himself and the kids and the kids needs in his home. If he takes a job for 5-6 hours a day to do the commute, is OP ok with less money? He is doing the bulk of the work driving them back and forth and having them 3 school days a week and some weekends. OP is lazy. Kids change schools all the time. If they are with him three school days a week it makes sense when they aren't allowed to be at mom's those three days and as teens they may need more flexiblity and have to go back and forth to school twice for activities/sports and need a landing zone between those times. She is the lazy one not wiling to care for her kids before and after school so he can work. Its not like he's out partying.

Moving a half hour away and switching your work schedule and having a newborn on the way when you know you are responsible for getting small children to a school 3x/week and you don’t have a plan is the definition of flaky (and it’s also short-sighted and acting not in the best interests of the children and showing poor executive functioning and planning skills).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He moved without consideration for his current kids and HE needs to figure it out.

OP, drop the rope and document,document, document. Kids having few tardies is not the end of the world, especially if it leads to you getting more custody.

Sounds like the dad is in the road to a slow fade and is prioritizing his “new” life. Let him struggle so that in the end when he does bail you have the documentation you need for increased child support and custody.

And, on the off chance that he does figure out, then great!

And, he will document mom is working from home and unwilling to care for them an hour or two a day so they should change schools as he hsa primary custody during the week. She can take them Friday-Sunday.

No judge will order that. She will show he chose to move and he chose to change his work schedule. No judge will say the solution is more time for dad and for the kids to change schools. Custody would go to her.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why one of the pieces keep saying that he has the kids 3 days a week and she has two weekdays. It sounds like they split the weekdays, he has the monday, tuesday, and Wednesday a.m. she has them Wednesday p.m., thursday, and Friday. A 50/50 split during the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

How is that good? She gets the easy part where she doesn’t have to deal with school or activities. He should take weekdays and she take weekends as she doesn’t want to do school, and have the kids go to school near him. They are younger so changing schools at least for next year is fine.

Changing school for kids is tough. Why would you send them off to live near a flaky dad who impregnated his affair partner who is going to have a newborn to take care of soon? Those kids are going to get neglected.

And weekdays are much easier for any parent because they’re in school for most of their waking hours. Weekends you actually spend time with your kids.

You need to stop making up stuff. He isn't flaky. He is working to pay child support, a house for himself and the kids and the kids needs in his home. If he takes a job for 5-6 hours a day to do the commute, is OP ok with less money? He is doing the bulk of the work driving them back and forth and having them 3 school days a week and some weekends. OP is lazy. Kids change schools all the time. If they are with him three school days a week it makes sense when they aren't allowed to be at mom's those three days and as teens they may need more flexiblity and have to go back and forth to school twice for activities/sports and need a landing zone between those times. She is the lazy one not wiling to care for her kids before and after school so he can work. Its not like he's out partying.

Moving a half hour away and switching your work schedule and having a newborn on the way when you know you are responsible for getting small children to a school 3x/week and you don’t have a plan is the definition of flaky (and it’s also short-sighted and acting not in the best interests of the children and showing poor executive functioning and planning skills).

People move. And, he may not have been able to afford a house in the area, given she got the house, child support and who knows what else. He is caring for his kids. As co-parents, you work together for the kids' sake. If he has them three days a week, and she two, kids should go to school at his house. They can adjust the child support to reflect the new child care needs.