Ex Can’t Do School Logistics Anymore — Advice?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

Shame on you for not working with him at all. You do want a fight as you are threatening court and not working with him at all. Just be honest, you want more child support and him to never see the kids again.

Lord help me for replying to this troll but how was she supposed to work with someone who decided on his own that he didn’t want to make it work. They’re not married. She can’t run his life especially if he has a new partner and home and job and baby. If he doesn’t come to her and say please help me in this specific way, then she gets accused on stepping in uninvited and being controlling and acting like she has a right to dictate his life. She cannot carry his mental load nor his parenting responsibility nor his executive functioning skill if she is not married to and living with the man.

Do you people see what you’re doing? Your insane rules have decided that no matter what she does, she’s the bad guy and he’s the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

Shame on you for not working with him at all. You do want a fight as you are threatening court and not working with him at all. Just be honest, you want more child support and him to never see the kids again.

I’m sorry, what do you suppose she does that she isn’t already doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

I know you don’t want the fight, and I’m sorry about the troll, but you should get custody and CS squared away before there is another child in his household, which can (sometimes) muddy the math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

I know you don’t want the fight, and I’m sorry about the troll, but you should get custody and CS squared away before there is another child in his household, which can (sometimes) muddy the math.

Some states give a credit for new kids. He should go back to court and get a better agreement since multiple things changed and she will not work with him. Not being willing to work with him, demanding full custody and more child support is bad for the kids. You need to stop trolling and hating men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

Does he ever have weekend days? You say that he gave up "his weekdays". Does that mean he never sees them if you have W - M, or is he still seeing them sometimes?

I would not feel responsible for getting them to him on M/T evenings. I would feel responsible for helping my kids have some time, if that's what they wanted. So, my answer is going to depend on whether he has any weekend time.

[Anonymous]

Team OP.

I posted earlier, suspecting that it was actually OP who was already handling Monday mornings and Wednesdays after school.

I hope your kids feel loved, OP, because they clearly are. Their dad can always come after work and take them out to dinner, the park, etc. on a couple of weeknights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

I know you don’t want the fight, and I’m sorry about the troll, but you should get custody and CS squared away before there is another child in his household, which can (sometimes) muddy the math.

Some states give a credit for new kids. He should go back to court and get a better agreement since multiple things changed and she will not work with him. Not being willing to work with him, demanding full custody and more child support is bad for the kids. You need to stop trolling and hating men.

Most states do not, in order to protect the best interests of the
existing children from the selfish decisions of their parents. It’s nothing to do with hating men— a woman who gets pregnant shouldn’t pay less child support either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

I know you don’t want the fight, and I’m sorry about the troll, but you should get custody and CS squared away before there is another child in his household, which can (sometimes) muddy the math.

Some states give a credit for new kids. He should go back to court and get a better agreement since multiple things changed and she will not work with him. Not being willing to work with him, demanding full custody and more child support is bad for the kids. You need to stop trolling and hating men.

Most states do not, in order to protect the best interests of the
existing children from the selfish decisions of their parents. It’s nothing to do with hating men— a woman who gets pregnant shouldn’t pay less child support either.

FWIW, DC does take additional children into account (caps out at 4 kids). My ex keeps having kids and wants child support adjusted each time. He makes 5x what I do and argues every small expense, but it's in the regulations so I don't argue the kid credit.

I agree that this is OP's ex's responsibility. He is welcome to come up with proposed solutions and discuss with her. It's not on her to solve this for him. And if he doesn't, then this is a change in circumstances that is worth a CS/custody modification.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

I know you don’t want the fight, and I’m sorry about the troll, but you should get custody and CS squared away before there is another child in his household, which can (sometimes) muddy the math.

Some states give a credit for new kids. He should go back to court and get a better agreement since multiple things changed and she will not work with him. Not being willing to work with him, demanding full custody and more child support is bad for the kids. You need to stop trolling and hating men.

I am so sorry for you that you either (1) think that your skewed posts makes any logical or moral sense, or (2) are so bored with your life that you think trolling a mom looking out for the best interest of her kids is fun.

It’s time for some self-reflection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

Shame on you for not working with him at all. You do want a fight as you are threatening court and not working with him at all. Just be honest, you want more child support and him to never see the kids again.

Lord help me for replying to this troll but how was she supposed to work with someone who decided on his own that he didn’t want to make it work. They’re not married. She can’t run his life especially if he has a new partner and home and job and baby. If he doesn’t come to her and say please help me in this specific way, then she gets accused on stepping in uninvited and being controlling and acting like she has a right to dictate his life. She cannot carry his mental load nor his parenting responsibility nor his executive functioning skill if she is not married to and living with the man.

Do you people see what you’re doing? Your insane rules have decided that no matter what she does, she’s the bad guy and he’s the victim.

She isn’t running his life. He is working, not partying. They both are parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

I know you don’t want the fight, and I’m sorry about the troll, but you should get custody and CS squared away before there is another child in his household, which can (sometimes) muddy the math.

Some states give a credit for new kids. He should go back to court and get a better agreement since multiple things changed and she will not work with him. Not being willing to work with him, demanding full custody and more child support is bad for the kids. You need to stop trolling and hating men.

I am so sorry for you that you either (1) think that your skewed posts makes any logical or moral sense, or (2) are so bored with your life that you think trolling a mom looking out for the best interest of her kids is fun.

It’s time for some self-reflection.

You are trolling and need to look at it as not just a man hater. Kids need both parents and he’s working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

Shame on you for not working with him at all. You do want a fight as you are threatening court and not working with him at all. Just be honest, you want more child support and him to never see the kids again.

Lord help me for replying to this troll but how was she supposed to work with someone who decided on his own that he didn’t want to make it work. They’re not married. She can’t run his life especially if he has a new partner and home and job and baby. If he doesn’t come to her and say please help me in this specific way, then she gets accused on stepping in uninvited and being controlling and acting like she has a right to dictate his life. She cannot carry his mental load nor his parenting responsibility nor his executive functioning skill if she is not married to and living with the man.

Do you people see what you’re doing? Your insane rules have decided that no matter what she does, she’s the bad guy and he’s the victim.

She isn’t running his life. He is working, not partying. They both are parents.

They are both working. His schedule is not more important than hers. If he feels it is he can give up custodial days and pay more CS. If he realizes it isn’t he will maintain the schedule and pay for aftercare. Nothing is free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

I know you don’t want the fight, and I’m sorry about the troll, but you should get custody and CS squared away before there is another child in his household, which can (sometimes) muddy the math.

+1 Ignore the woman hating troll. You're clearly doing what's best for your kids while their dad is the one acting selfishly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

I know you don’t want the fight, and I’m sorry about the troll, but you should get custody and CS squared away before there is another child in his household, which can (sometimes) muddy the math.

+1 Ignore the woman hating troll. You're clearly doing what's best for your kids while their dad is the one acting selfishly.

What’s best for the kids is both parents cooperating and supporting each other. If dad changes jobs to work school hours, mom gets less money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: So, it seems like right now he has them M T W and one weekend a month. Honestly OP, I think that is good for you-you're getting most of the weekends.
I wouldn't want to change that, and I'd probably just have him drop the kids off at your house on your days and you take them to school like you do on your days. Is that making it easier for him? Yes. Is it keeping things consistent for the kids and giving you more time with them? Also Yes.

OP should only do this if it won’t compromise her job. Why should she have to bear the entire burden of school pickup and drop offs? If she agrees to this she should be compensated for it in increase child support or through her xDH paying for an after school sitter. At the end of the day it is the xDH’s responsibility to coordinate *and pay for* any necessary childcare on his custody days rather than foisting it on OP. And of course this is not necessarily better for small kids as it means the kids will transition between parents and houses every day.

Because she's insisting the kids go to school at her house and he has them three days a week and she has them two days a week. What does she do on her days? She should share the child care costs if he has to pay someone especially when he's paying child support. Child care expenses are caculated with child support so if his expenses increase, she could be responsible for some of that increase.

The better solution is for the kids to go to school near his house, as they are there more during the week. Adding another day care provider or nanny is another transition for the kisd so your comments make no sense.

If she doesn't want the kids during the week, he can keep them m-f and she can have them s-s.

She is “insisting” the kids go to school they have gone to historically which would remain fine had their father not voluntarily (not for a job) chosen to move further from his kids.

In general, courts —and most adults — prioritize stability for kids and the status quo, and take a dim view of parents voluntarily moving further from their children.

These are young kids. They will be fine changing schools. Mom can step up and help at least till the end of the school year, then hopefully he can get child care or they can come to another arrangement, like kids go to school near him.

Mom refuses to be in any way flexible and sets him up to fail. If he takes a job with reduced pay, will she be ok with reduced child support? Of course not. He also has equal kid expenses in his home on top of that child support. He's doing his share. She can step up a little. She has weekends, so she has the easy fun time.

Oh FFS! He set himself up to fail by having another child when he clearly cannot handle being father of 3. She does not owe it to him to compensate for his poor judgement. At all.

The issue isn't the baby, you are just upset he remarried and had another child. The issue is his work schedule. And, in some states, he can get the child support reduced for having more kids. If she will not help, it speaks to her parenting. What kind of mother would turn down an extra two hours with her kids?

What kind of a father would fail to figure out how to provide childcare for his kids on his custody days?? Or move far away from their school after breaking up their family with an affair.

Fathers with custody don't have to drive that distance back and forth and they'd have the kids at a closer school. He has to work. So, it makes sense for the kids to go to school near him. She's refusing to work with him at all and that hurts the kids. Most people cannot just work 4-5 hours day.

She has to work too … and I’m sorry you cannot wrap your head around this but it is the responsibility of the custodial parent to figure out how to get the kids to school on their days.

She is the custodial parent as she has more time and gets child support. The best way to figure it out is to change schools.

You make no sense. It is not in the best interest of the children to change schools, to make life easier for their father, who chose to move away from his 2 kids, and closer to his girlfriend, in advance of becoming a parent to his new baby. The OP is the stable parent, and it would harm the kids to move away from their friends and their mother.

You don’t know anything and are making it up as you go. If dad has the kids three school days a week he is primary parent as that’s the harder part and handling the academics. Mom is the fun parent with Friday to Sunday. It makes sense to move the kids near dad for school.

Read the OP. This is the schedule that the Dad wanted because it worked for his work schedule. He and his baby mama probably like having most weekends child free. Your characterization of the situation as somehow unfair to the poor out upon dad is delusional.

Baby mama one likes her weekdays free. Sounds like neither should be parenting per your posts.

OP here to set the record straight, since I can’t believe you are all still debating this like you know what’s going on, and with an update:

My ex has the kids M after school, and all day T. He takes them to school on W, where I have them W after school until M when I take them to school. I take them to school THREE days a week.

He has given up his weekdays, for now, until he can “figure something out”. If by next school year he can’t come up with a permanent plan, I will take him to court and figure out custody and CS arrangements, but it’s not a fight I’m interested in having now. As I said, I don’t care about the money, I just want my kids to feel secure.

The audacity of some of you calling me selfish and only caring about myself, shame on you. Did you read something that resonated with you? Feeling exposed?

Shame on you for not working with him at all. You do want a fight as you are threatening court and not working with him at all. Just be honest, you want more child support and him to never see the kids again.

Lord help me for replying to this troll but how was she supposed to work with someone who decided on his own that he didn’t want to make it work. They’re not married. She can’t run his life especially if he has a new partner and home and job and baby. If he doesn’t come to her and say please help me in this specific way, then she gets accused on stepping in uninvited and being controlling and acting like she has a right to dictate his life. She cannot carry his mental load nor his parenting responsibility nor his executive functioning skill if she is not married to and living with the man.

Do you people see what you’re doing? Your insane rules have decided that no matter what she does, she’s the bad guy and he’s the victim.

She isn’t running his life. He is working, not partying. They both are parents.

They are both working. His schedule is not more important than hers. If he feels it is he can give up custodial days and pay more CS. If he realizes it isn’t he will maintain the schedule and pay for aftercare. Nothing is free.

More than likely it’s not available as slots are full this time a year. He shouldn’t give up days, she should work with him. You hurt the kids by taking away their dad.