I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can find a way to drift away and not name him on the birth certificate, OP, you should. You don’t want a lying creep like this in your life and it just takes his nagging mom hearing a redacted version of his story to decide you’re the bad guy and to convince him to fight for custody.

For this reason, maybe OP should press criminal charges.

He knew. He didn't disclose. He recklessly endangered her health and the health of the baby.

I wouldn’t press charges proactively but I would document the crap out of the situation and keep it in my back pocket in case he tried for custody of any kind. Op, you don’t need a divorce and that’s fortunate, but you do need a consult with a family law attorney to figure out how to best protect your rights and your baby’s rights. Find someone who specializes in custody vs straight up divorce litigators. No mediation nonsense, you want an attorney. And you need to get a will in place and think about who to designate as a legal guardian.

You actually can’t sue for someone not telling you they have herpes. This still only applies to HIV. I actually looked it up a couple of years ago and I couldn’t believe it-but yeah.

Of course you can sue. Like most things it’s state specific but many states allow for claims to be brought for spreading infectious diseases.

Sure you can sue for anything-but it’s not actually against the law, so winning is the issue.

So first you said you can’t actually sue, now you’re saying you can? Also, google, there are cases across the US where people have won.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His lying is deeply troubling. You are not being overly dramatic.

+1 He's had it for years but he never looked at the lab report? I call BS on that. The dr would've seen the results and called him.

He didn't want to tell you, full stop. He couldn't get erect because he knew he would have to eventually tell you because you are now pregnant, and this could put the baby's health in danger.

Did you get yourself tested?

Wednesday - I have my anatomy scan then, so I’m going to tell my OB what’s going on and get tested.

thinking good thoughts for you, OP.

FWIW, a friend of mine got gonorrhea from a guy before she had kids. She now has two healthy kids - 20 and 15.

How are you this stupid?

I sometimes wonder how such an educated area produces people who seem to know so little about fairly general things like this. Like it wouldn’t surprise if the person making that comment went to MIT or the like, But lacks the common knowledge to know how vastly different these two STI’s are.

eh F*off both of you. I know they are different, but they are both STIs (did you know that). That was the point of my post.

Nah get out here with this stupidity. You made an irrelevant and dumb analogy comparing an easily curable infection to a life long incurable disease. Your “point”’ was dumb since you clearly didn’t understand the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

It’s not a standard STD panel. Even when you’re pregnant they don’t test for it. Your partner can show you their medical history and it’ll more than likely not have herpes on it. Heck, for men they don’t even test for HPV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

It’s not a standard STD panel. Even when you’re pregnant they don’t test for it. Your partner can show you their medical history and it’ll more than likely not have herpes on it. Heck, for men they don’t even test for HPV.

That’s why PP literally called out that herpes test is required for her and the dollar amount. Clearly she knows it’s not standard…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

It’s not a standard STD panel. Even when you’re pregnant they don’t test for it. Your partner can show you their medical history and it’ll more than likely not have herpes on it. Heck, for men they don’t even test for HPV.

That’s why PP literally called out that herpes test is required for her and the dollar amount. Clearly she knows it’s not standard…

Curious to know if PP asks for a HPV too.

Also curious to know if you’re not showing any symptoms how often do people request the test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which version of it? One version is very common, something like 75% of peopel have it. HSV-1 I think?

you KNOW which version!

No she doesn’t. Many people have HSV1 on their genitals. Oral sex is pretty much common practice among almost everybody.

[Anonymous]

I’d say there’s a zero percent chance he had it when you got together and is now suddenly freaking out about it. He’s been cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

It’s not a standard STD panel. Even when you’re pregnant they don’t test for it. Your partner can show you their medical history and it’ll more than likely not have herpes on it. Heck, for men they don’t even test for HPV.

But you can ASK to be tested for it. It’s not like it’s not available. So you ask for the test yourself and you have the person you are planning on sleeping with ask as well-it’s really not that complicated. There is no HPV test for men-that’s why they can’t test for it. But Herpes tests are widely available. You can go online right now, order a test, get a lab appointment the same day and have your results in 1-2 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

It’s not a standard STD panel. Even when you’re pregnant they don’t test for it. Your partner can show you their medical history and it’ll more than likely not have herpes on it. Heck, for men they don’t even test for HPV.

But you can ASK to be tested for it. It’s not like it’s not available. So you ask for the test yourself and you have the person you are planning on sleeping with ask as well-it’s really not that complicated. There is no HPV test for men-that’s why they can’t test for it. But Herpes tests are widely available. You can go online right now, order a test, get a lab appointment the same day and have your results in 1-2 days.

I’m telling you, if doctors aren’t testing for it, and you don’t have symptoms most people don’t request the test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

It’s not a standard STD panel. Even when you’re pregnant they don’t test for it. Your partner can show you their medical history and it’ll more than likely not have herpes on it. Heck, for men they don’t even test for HPV.

That’s why PP literally called out that herpes test is required for her and the dollar amount. Clearly she knows it’s not standard…

Curious to know if PP asks for a HPV too.

Also curious to know if you’re not showing any symptoms how often do people request the test.

It’s clear you don’t know how this stuff works at all-there is no male HPV test. They diagnose based on symptoms exclusively for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

It’s not a standard STD panel. Even when you’re pregnant they don’t test for it. Your partner can show you their medical history and it’ll more than likely not have herpes on it. Heck, for men they don’t even test for HPV.

But you can ASK to be tested for it. It’s not like it’s not available. So you ask for the test yourself and you have the person you are planning on sleeping with ask as well-it’s really not that complicated. There is no HPV test for men-that’s why they can’t test for it. But Herpes tests are widely available. You can go online right now, order a test, get a lab appointment the same day and have your results in 1-2 days.

I’m telling you, if doctors aren’t testing for it, and you don’t have symptoms most people don’t request the test.

And I’m telling you that just because most people don’t request it doesn’t mean they can’t/shouldn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

It’s not a standard STD panel. Even when you’re pregnant they don’t test for it. Your partner can show you their medical history and it’ll more than likely not have herpes on it. Heck, for men they don’t even test for HPV.

But you can ASK to be tested for it. It’s not like it’s not available. So you ask for the test yourself and you have the person you are planning on sleeping with ask as well-it’s really not that complicated. There is no HPV test for men-that’s why they can’t test for it. But Herpes tests are widely available. You can go online right now, order a test, get a lab appointment the same day and have your results in 1-2 days.

I’m telling you, if doctors aren’t testing for it, and you don’t have symptoms most people don’t request the test.

As backwards as it is, even the CDC doesn’t recommend testing

https://imgur.com/a/agyfsr6

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

It’s not a standard STD panel. Even when you’re pregnant they don’t test for it. Your partner can show you their medical history and it’ll more than likely not have herpes on it. Heck, for men they don’t even test for HPV.

That’s why PP literally called out that herpes test is required for her and the dollar amount. Clearly she knows it’s not standard…

Curious to know if PP asks for a HPV too.

Also curious to know if you’re not showing any symptoms how often do people request the test.

It’s clear you don’t know how this stuff works at all-there is no male HPV test. They diagnose based on symptoms exclusively for men.

I know exactly what I’m talking about. As common as HPV is they don’t test men, not because there isn’t a test, they just choose not to/see it as pointless - there’s a difference:

“most HPV infections in men are harmless, asymptomatic, and cleared by the immune system within one to two years”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you all not discuss STD's when you became sexually active? What did he say when you all became sexually active?

This. How are people still not requiring new partners to be tested? This is crazy to me. And yeah, herpes is a required test for me. It costs like $50 without insurance. There is no excuse.

It’s not a standard STD panel. Even when you’re pregnant they don’t test for it. Your partner can show you their medical history and it’ll more than likely not have herpes on it. Heck, for men they don’t even test for HPV.

That’s why PP literally called out that herpes test is required for her and the dollar amount. Clearly she knows it’s not standard…

Curious to know if PP asks for a HPV too.

Also curious to know if you’re not showing any symptoms how often do people request the test.

It’s clear you don’t know how this stuff works at all-there is no male HPV test. They diagnose based on symptoms exclusively for men.

I know exactly what I’m talking about. As common as HPV is they don’t test men, not because there isn’t a test, they just choose not to/see it as pointless - there’s a difference:

“most HPV infections in men are harmless, asymptomatic, and cleared by the immune system within one to two years”

There is no approved HPV test for men. But ok.