I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I see why he couldn't get erect. He was envisioning this meltdown. OP delivered!

Let's be honest, even though OP's fiance was dishonest (red flag), her response is a red flag too. It was also a red flag to have a baby without having these conversations first. It is also another red flag to be unable to communicate afterwards.

You do know you can ask to see someone’s STI panel and it won’t have herpes on it. They’ll even test for HIV, but Herpes.

But yes, find a way to blame the woman when he lied, decided to propose , and get someone pregnant without saying a word about him having heroes. Yup, it’s her fault.

But not herpes*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which version of it? One version is very common, something like 75% of peopel have it. HSV-1 I think?

I’m not sure. I was so shocked and angry that I haven’t asked. I know that I should’ve…

OP, you are wildly overdramatic. Your doctor will tell you this, so listen up, but there are two kinds, and one is more serious than the other. Also, there is a pill you can take while pregnant and it will be a non-event.

I got HSV-1 when I was a baby and a relative with a cold sore kissed me on the mouth. I was really sick at the time but recovered and ever since then I will have flare ups of cold sores maybe 1-2 times a year during periods of high stress. If I had them more I could take a daily pill, but as it is I just take some when I feel one coming on and it immediately goes away.

You sound very immature and frankly probably shouldn't be getting married (much less having a child!). Seek help.

He's obviously not talking about cold sores on his mouth.

FYI. I know someone whose baby died from even the cold sore type Someone with that kissed the baby and it infected their brain. They lingered for years in a near vegetable state then died. So even that mild kind needs real precautions with infants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which version of it? One version is very common, something like 75% of peopel have it. HSV-1 I think?

I’m not sure. I was so shocked and angry that I haven’t asked. I know that I should’ve…

OP, you are wildly overdramatic. Your doctor will tell you this, so listen up, but there are two kinds, and one is more serious than the other. Also, there is a pill you can take while pregnant and it will be a non-event.

I got HSV-1 when I was a baby and a relative with a cold sore kissed me on the mouth. I was really sick at the time but recovered and ever since then I will have flare ups of cold sores maybe 1-2 times a year during periods of high stress. If I had them more I could take a daily pill, but as it is I just take some when I feel one coming on and it immediately goes away.

You sound very immature and frankly probably shouldn't be getting married (much less having a child!). Seek help.

He's obviously not talking about cold sores on his mouth.

FYI. I know someone whose baby died from even the cold sore type Someone with that kissed the baby and it infected their brain. They lingered for years in a near vegetable state then died. So even that mild kind needs real precautions with infants.

Thank you. Especially for those saying this is an over dramatic reaction.

[Anonymous]

His lying is deeply troubling. You are not being overly dramatic.

[Anonymous]

OP the people saying you're overdramatic are crazy. I know someone who had a herpes scare in pregnancy and it's a very big deal. You need to talk to OB immediately.

Any way you slice this, he was dishonest. He cheated and got it, or he already had it and didn't disclose. If he really found out about it recently, what reason is there not to share immediately especially in light of the pregnancy. He has lost your trust and I don't see how it's repaired.

Focus on the baby and med precautions first.

[Anonymous]

I think he cheated on you. Sorry. And I think you know that. Hence your intense reaction.

[Anonymous]

I'd ask to see the paperwork that he recently ran across. On the health portal so he can't fudge the dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd ask to see the paperwork that he recently ran across. On the health portal so he can't fudge the dates.

Is it worth going through all that? The net of it is the trust has been broken in a major, probably irreparable way.

[Anonymous]

Are you still going to marry him?
You may have a lot of decisions to make very quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you still going to marry him?
You may have a lot of decisions to make very quickly.

Absolutely not. My husband/right person would never do something like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which version of it? One version is very common, something like 75% of peopel have it. HSV-1 I think?

That's not herpes. Not the same thing at all.

HSV-1 = "Herpes Simplex Virus type 1". Tell me how it's not herpes.

[Anonymous]

If you can find a way to drift away and not name him on the birth certificate, OP, you should. You don’t want a lying creep like this in your life and it just takes his nagging mom hearing a redacted version of his story to decide you’re the bad guy and to convince him to fight for custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you still going to marry him?
You may have a lot of decisions to make very quickly.

Absolutely not. My husband/right person would never do something like this.

Amen. This could have huge repercussions for the baby. OP, see your ob asap!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His lying is deeply troubling. You are not being overly dramatic.

+1 He's had it for years but he never looked at the lab report? I call BS on that. The dr would've seen the results and called him.

He didn't want to tell you, full stop. He couldn't get erect because he knew he would have to eventually tell you because you are now pregnant, and this could put the baby's health in danger.

Did you get yourself tested?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he cheated on you. Sorry. And I think you know that. Hence your intense reaction.

+1 no way he didn't "see the report" until now. The dr would've called him.