Daughter wants to move back home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:89 yo neighbors have a 56 yo adult child who refuses to work or move out.

Super unfair. Good luck though.

My neighbor is a 84 yo widower whose 50+ adult child moved in with him because it was unsafe for him to live alone. No short term memory. If his AC didn’t move in with him, he would end up in memory care. Other neighbors judge the situation from a distance because he looks healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:89 yo neighbors have a 56 yo adult child who refuses to work or move out.

Super unfair. Good luck though.

My neighbor is a 84 yo widower whose 50+ adult child moved in with him because it was unsafe for him to live alone. No short term memory. If his AC didn’t move in with him, he would end up in memory care. Other neighbors judge the situation from a distance because he looks healthy.

NP-Some people are vocal about saying this is not the case and their perfectly able child lives with them and they'd like them to move out. I have neighbors that way: their ds is 40yo, has a good job, still home. They're thinking of moving to a retirement community hours away and then he can't go with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:89 yo neighbors have a 56 yo adult child who refuses to work or move out.

Super unfair. Good luck though.

My neighbor is a 84 yo widower whose 50+ adult child moved in with him because it was unsafe for him to live alone. No short term memory. If his AC didn’t move in with him, he would end up in memory care. Other neighbors judge the situation from a distance because he looks healthy.

NP-Some people are vocal about saying this is not the case and their perfectly able child lives with them and they'd like them to move out. I have neighbors that way: their ds is 40yo, has a good job, still home. They're thinking of moving to a retirement community hours away and then he can't go with them.

This! Our neighbors are super vocal about wanting their adult child out.

[Anonymous]

BTDT, my guess is she anticipates in the near future she and her long term boyfriend are going to take the next step (living together and/or engagement) or the OTHER step (breaking up). Living with you frees her up to move in together and protects her from breaking a lease, or provides a soft place to land a regroup if they split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:89 yo neighbors have a 56 yo adult child who refuses to work or move out.

Super unfair. Good luck though.

My neighbor is a 84 yo widower whose 50+ adult child moved in with him because it was unsafe for him to live alone. No short term memory. If his AC didn’t move in with him, he would end up in memory care. Other neighbors judge the situation from a distance because he looks healthy.

NP-Some people are vocal about saying this is not the case and their perfectly able child lives with them and they'd like them to move out. I have neighbors that way: their ds is 40yo, has a good job, still home. They're thinking of moving to a retirement community hours away and then he can't go with them.

well yeah, that's true but I can tell you that both of my parents have different forms of dementia and when we were trying to figure out how to deal with it, I lived with them for weeks at a time (I can work remotely). My mom complained about it to the neighbors but my dad was with it enough to understand. I can tell you, I did NOT want to be there. I drew the short straw among the siblings since I dont have kids and can work remotely.

[Anonymous]

Kids not moving home is one of the cultural tricks to prevent the preservation or growth of wealth in the US.

Just my opinion. My kids can live at home as long as they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:89 yo neighbors have a 56 yo adult child who refuses to work or move out.

Super unfair. Good luck though.

My neighbor is a 84 yo widower whose 50+ adult child moved in with him because it was unsafe for him to live alone. No short term memory. If his AC didn’t move in with him, he would end up in memory care. Other neighbors judge the situation from a distance because he looks healthy.

NP-Some people are vocal about saying this is not the case and their perfectly able child lives with them and they'd like them to move out. I have neighbors that way: their ds is 40yo, has a good job, still home. They're thinking of moving to a retirement community hours away and then he can't go with them.

well yeah, that's true but I can tell you that both of my parents have different forms of dementia and when we were trying to figure out how to deal with it, I lived with them for weeks at a time (I can work remotely). My mom complained about it to the neighbors but my dad was with it enough to understand. I can tell you, I did NOT want to be there. I drew the short straw among the siblings since I dont have kids and can work remotely.

My widowed mother had dementia and would complain about my unmarried sister and threaten to throw her out. Meanwhile, my sister was shopping for the household cooking, cleaning, bathing and administering her medication without any pay, just room and board. Imagine the sleep deprivation and stress. My mother fell several times, had UTIs and cellulitis, necessitating ER and doctor visits. All the while, she would complain endlessly to anyone nearby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids not moving home is one of the cultural tricks to prevent the preservation or growth of wealth in the US.

Just my opinion. My kids can live at home as long as they want.

+1. There is a reason so many young people carry debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has little siblings of course she wants to live with them

OP said DD has two siblings in high school and one in college. Not little.

[Anonymous]

I would be 100% OK with this since she is financially independent and responsible. In many other countries around the globe, this is entirely normal. It also allows her to save a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’d be okay with this if she had a specific plan to save money.

[Anonymous]

No from me. The whole thing sounds so pathetic I can barely even think about it in practical terms and there is no way I'd face any of my own social group with this kond of failure to launch kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids not moving home is one of the cultural tricks to prevent the preservation or growth of wealth in the US.

Just my opinion. My kids can live at home as long as they want.

Nope.
Our adult child landed a job job directly out of college - zero debt and moved into their first apartment - zero roommates.
Two years later has hefty savings.

There are young adults living independently , not moving backwards and not in mommy and daddies homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids not moving home is one of the cultural tricks to prevent the preservation or growth of wealth in the US.

Just my opinion. My kids can live at home as long as they want.

Nope.
Our adult child landed a job job directly out of college - zero debt and moved into their first apartment - zero roommates.
Two years later has hefty savings.

There are young adults living independently , not moving backwards and not in mommy and daddies homes.

What is up with these adults in their 20s and 30s and beyond who want to live like teenagers and parents who enable it? Are they lonely? Figure their kids will take care of them down the road? When did be an adult and figure life out and live within your means become difficult or simply the word "no". There is an entire parental generation like my sil who all 3 kids are failure to launch adults, live at home, barely work are a nightmare to deal with, she's broke because of the bills and asks to borrow money and wonders why they can't find someone nice to settle down with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids not moving home is one of the cultural tricks to prevent the preservation or growth of wealth in the US.

Just my opinion. My kids can live at home as long as they want.

Nope.
Our adult child landed a job job directly out of college - zero debt and moved into their first apartment - zero roommates.
Two years later has hefty savings.

There are young adults living independently , not moving backwards and not in mommy and daddies homes.

What is up with these adults in their 20s and 30s and beyond who want to live like teenagers and parents who enable it? Are they lonely? Figure their kids will take care of them down the road? When did be an adult and figure life out and live within your means become difficult or simply the word "no". There is an entire parental generation like my sil who all 3 kids are failure to launch adults, live at home, barely work are a nightmare to deal with, she's broke because of the bills and asks to borrow money and wonders why they can't find someone nice to settle down with.

Nah. We are non-White, non-Christian highly paid legal immigrants and we value generational wealth creation. My kids would not move out if they got a job locally. Most of their money would go in savings and retirement. We would continue to give them the economic legup and emotional/social/physical security that would allow them to do the same for their kids.