Daughter wants to move back home

[Anonymous]

OP you are super lucky. Welcome her home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you are super lucky. Welcome her home.

Yes, and now you have this example at how she tried her hand at independence and it was a disaster for her so you can keep her home to take care of you as you age.

[Anonymous]

Say no. I honestly wish my parents had made it harder for me to move back in after college.

[Anonymous]

NP. I love that idea. I would be thrilled if my daughter will want to move back home at that age. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

While as a mother of kids that age that are now living almost 1,000 away it sounds so nice, I think back to myself at that age. I love my parent but if I didn’t want to be out on my own and not in their house at that age something was wrong. I just don’t this you are getting the full truth OP. If this is temporary arrangement to save money or not lock into new lease, okay. But to just want to be home sounds like she cannot handle something about adulting. Just my two cents.

[Anonymous]

I personally moved home at age 25. I was living in a different state and couldn’t land a stable job so I moved home, got a good job and was not charged for rent or food (although I did much of my own shopping and meals naturally since I had already lived on my own)., bought my own car and met my husband. I stayed until we got married (3.5 years). All is good. I was so thankful to have a family that welcomed me back home and allowed me to get my feet on the ground.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is your cultural background? It is very normal in some cultures for adult children to live in the family home until they get married and establish a new household of their own.

[Anonymous]

Know a few who returned home or never left

It’s such a weird set up. They appear stunted in their mental capacity. Barely employed, super enmeshed in parents marriage, lives and think a man/woman is coming to save or marry them.

Odd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Know a few who returned home or never left

It’s such a weird set up. They appear stunted in their mental capacity. Barely employed, super enmeshed in parents marriage, lives and think a man/woman is coming to save or marry them.

Odd

I think when the parents are ok with this setup it also becomes their responsibility to get their kid married off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your cultural background? It is very normal in some cultures for adult children to live in the family home until they get married and establish a new household of their own.

This is different n generational homes the young adult leaves in their mid 20s. However, OPs daughter has been living alone for a few years... She wants to move back now at age 25. So That's strange.

Also, strange is that OP is ok with her moving back but still created a Post about it....

[Anonymous]

I moved back home in my 20s to go to grad school. It was wonderful to build a relationship with my parents as an adult after living away from 18-25. I was engaged and my now-DH was in law school in a different city. My parents' conditions were:
- I cooked dinner 5 nights per week
- I did the grocery shopping for the family (they paid, but I did the work)
- I ran errands for them every week, like picking up dry cleaning, taking the car to be washed, etc.
- I kept my space tidy and helped prepare the house for the cleaners weekly
- When they were travelling, I provided pet care, watered plants, etc.
- I had a firm move out date when my program ended

They didn't charge me anything and they paid my phone bill and car insurance, since my graduate funding only covered tuition and fees. It worked well for everyone, they basically got a household manager and I was able to graduate debt free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved back home in my 20s to go to grad school. It was wonderful to build a relationship with my parents as an adult after living away from 18-25. I was engaged and my now-DH was in law school in a different city. My parents' conditions were:
- I cooked dinner 5 nights per week
- I did the grocery shopping for the family (they paid, but I did the work)
- I ran errands for them every week, like picking up dry cleaning, taking the car to be washed, etc.
- I kept my space tidy and helped prepare the house for the cleaners weekly
- When they were travelling, I provided pet care, watered plants, etc.
- I had a firm move out date when my program ended

They didn't charge me anything and they paid my phone bill and car insurance, since my graduate funding only covered tuition and fees. It worked well for everyone, they basically got a household manager and I was able to graduate debt free.

The above makes sense in my mind. There was a clearly defined reason why and timeframe. The whole moving home because they like it is just...IDK. Old person yelling at clouds here, but when I was that age, I had been living on my own since graduating college and was married. Heck, I only spent one summer at home during college and that was after my freshmen year. After that I was either taking summer courses or working and it was 5 hours from "home".

Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While as a mother of kids that age that are now living almost 1,000 away it sounds so nice, I think back to myself at that age. I love my parent but if I didn’t want to be out on my own and not in their house at that age something was wrong. I just don’t this you are getting the full truth OP. If this is temporary arrangement to save money or not lock into new lease, okay. But to just want to be home sounds like she cannot handle something about adulting. Just my two cents.

I agree with this. I think it’s strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems fine, honestly. Some people don't like living alone and roommates can be got it miss.

I would have her pay some amount if rent and deposit it in a HYSA that she will get as a gift towards a down payment or wedding when she moves out.

I would also discuss household contributions before hand, like cooking, cleaning, keeping rooms tidy, etc. A HS or college kid I'd feel comfortable saying "put your laundry away and you have to help with dinner." A 25/26 year old I would not want to *have* to tell her these things and would be resentful if she fell into teenage behavior of slacking in those areas, so I'd want to feel comfortable that she understands the difference between being a kid in our house and being a contributing adult.

+1

as long as you have the space, why not have her with the family? But I would want her to contribute like the full adult she is.

Outside of the USA, most people live at home until they get married. Heck, most live at home while attending college as well. If you love your family why not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems fine, honestly. Some people don't like living alone and roommates can be got it miss.

I would have her pay some amount if rent and deposit it in a HYSA that she will get as a gift towards a down payment or wedding when she moves out.

I would also discuss household contributions before hand, like cooking, cleaning, keeping rooms tidy, etc. A HS or college kid I'd feel comfortable saying "put your laundry away and you have to help with dinner." A 25/26 year old I would not want to *have* to tell her these things and would be resentful if she fell into teenage behavior of slacking in those areas, so I'd want to feel comfortable that she understands the difference between being a kid in our house and being a contributing adult.

+1. Since she is working FT without debt, I would ask for an amount to cover the extra cost of food, utilities and household supplies but not give it to her later. It is much less than rent so she should not balk at paying it.

If you can afford it, I'm with PP and would save it and give it back to her later, for a home downpayment