S/O What motivates men to string women along for years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men enjoy regular sex without long term commitment or putting in any effort.

And after marriage, men put in regular efforts yet get almost no sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just propose to him. Will you marry me? No? Ok bye. Don’t twist his arm and make him propose to you, that’s really just you proposing and lying about who is doing it.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An anecdote about this. Told by a long married, older neighbor. She told her long term boyfriend, "I want to be married to you. But if you don't want to be married, I need to be dating other people." And she did. And no longer saw him. He had some months experiencing this new normal, evaluated his feelings and intentions and proposed marriage.

This is what I would suggest to young women. Women who do want to be married. If you don't want to be married that's ok too. But if you do, it's not exactly an ultimatum. It's just stating the truth. I can't be devoted to you, for any longer, if you're not wanting to be married.

Life isn’t a Hallmark movie. This shit rarely happens in real life. No guy realizes how good they had it and comes groveling. That’s just weird romance novel fantasy.

Really? All my exes did

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From all the men I know: free sex. They like a steady supply- so they will keep hitting it and only leave if they fall hard for someone else.

But wouldn’t the guy keep getting “free sex” if he married her? Unless the woman is just using sex to lure him in and then planning to stop once she’s got the ring….

That’s not the plan per se but once she has a baby that’s what ends up happening

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What motivates people to BE strung along for years?

End Thread.

I had low self esteem. I was poor. I had his kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What motivates people to BE strung along for years?

End Thread.

I had low self esteem. I was poor. I had his kids.

Also, he had this way of convincing me that marriage was *right* around the corner. Especially if I tried to leave.

Turns out he was a narcissist and it ended up being a pretty bad relationship. I’m thankful I got away in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a situation like this, I gave him an ultimatum and I knew his answer so when he finally did break up with me I told him I already know. Turns out he had been seeing someone towards the end of the relationship so I think he was stringing me along until someone better came along. (He divorced her after a year so so much for waiting for the right girl, meanwhile I’m about to celebrate my 20th) I’m a firm believer that if he’s stringing you along, he is not interested in you, he’s just biding time for someone better.

I don't think it's necessarily someone better because mine married a retail worker from bath& body works who was then creating snake oil and she had cankles. I don't think it's better but just someone who has lower self-esteem and is empathetic and desperate for attention of the user/selfish boob/cheater bf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What motivates people to BE strung along for years?

End Thread.

I had low self esteem. I was poor. I had his kids.

That you had as kids means you stayed. But the one he left previously and replaced with you was also used but she just couldn't put up with his cheating or using and left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men enjoy regular sex without long term commitment or putting in any effort.

And after marriage, men put in regular efforts yet get almost no sex.

No they don't. Numerous threads here about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men enjoy regular sex without long term commitment or putting in any effort.

And after marriage, men put in regular efforts yet get almost no sex.

No they don't. Numerous threads here about it.

So why are all these women so eager to lock them down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men enjoy regular sex without long term commitment or putting in any effort.

And after marriage, men put in regular efforts yet get almost no sex.

No they don't. Numerous threads here about it.

So why are all these women so eager to lock them down?

The women are in love, feel like he’s her best friend, want to start a family together, and believe him when he says that he feels and wants all of these things too.

That’s part of the reason it feels like such a betrayal when it turns out that some or all of these things turn out to be lies. Not even malicious ones, just kind of going along to get along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men enjoy regular sex without long term commitment or putting in any effort.

And after marriage, men put in regular efforts yet get almost no sex.

No they don't. Numerous threads here about it.

So why are all these women so eager to lock them down?

Besides they came only keep the weight off for so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Men don’t commit because they just don’t think about it” is cope.

Give an above average man a few dates with a VS model and watch what happens.

I don’t think that means that men don’t think about commitment. I think it means that men don’t think about the fact that staying in a long term relationship in your late twenties/early thirties means that women are possibly giving up the chance to be mothers and to have their own families.

Men aren’t being evil. They are just unaware in inconsiderate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An anecdote about this. Told by a long married, older neighbor. She told her long term boyfriend, "I want to be married to you. But if you don't want to be married, I need to be dating other people." And she did. And no longer saw him. He had some months experiencing this new normal, evaluated his feelings and intentions and proposed marriage.

This is what I would suggest to young women. Women who do want to be married. If you don't want to be married that's ok too. But if you do, it's not exactly an ultimatum. It's just stating the truth. I can't be devoted to you, for any longer, if you're not wanting to be married.

That’s some 1990s “The Ring” sh@t. lol

We all read that and practiced it. That book was even mentioned on SATC😂

lol…it’s not “The Ring,” it’s “The Rules!”

Although I like the idea that if he doesn’t propose within six days of watching the video, she’s going to crawl out of a well and get him

Ha! Yes! Thanks

People bashed that book—but I know all of my college friends practiced a lot of it and all married good/desirable men before 30 (in their late 20s). Most then waited 4-5 years to have their first kid which was better on the marriage and careers.

I liked that book too. And I teach a lot of it to my daughter.
If you follow the book, it’s really hard to get strung along for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From all the men I know: free sex. They like a steady supply- so they will keep hitting it and only leave if they fall hard for someone else.

But wouldn’t the guy keep getting “free sex” if he married her? Unless the woman is just using sex to lure him in and then planning to stop once she’s got the ring….

I honestly think this is a huge reason a lot of men get married.